Sticks and stones would make more sense if Tarantula's super power had something to do with rocks.
It especially won't happen while I'm reading Percy's Green Arrow. I certainly won't be having any fun while reading this garbage.
Wait. When did this happen? Did I miss the issue with the love story in it?!
Tarantula decides she needs to save Oliver because they fell in love on the road trip. Or while they were captured. Or while they were arguing constantly. I'm not really good at reading signs so I don't know when they actually fell in love. I still thought they barely liked each other!
While I'm still confused from the sudden romantic subplot, Percy decides to shove in an origin story for Jefe, the leader of the Bone Collectors. Is the guy really interesting enough to need a backstory? Do I fucking care about this guy? I barely care about Green Arrow!
Working around drugs gives you cancerous semen?!
"Scientific statement. Unscientific statement that some people might believe. Third completely nonsense statement that now sounds somewhat factual."
Green Arrow responds to his upcoming sacrifice by saying, "You want my bones, but I'd rather give you the finger." I think it would have worked better if he said "a finger" but what do I know? Poetry, remember?! Bad at it, I am!
Jefe explains that bones are powerful artifacts and then brags about all of the different bones he has in his collection. He's rather vague about most of them. You'd think he'd cherish his collection a little more by announcing which kings's bones he had, or the names of the demons and murderers, or the name of the chieftain killed by the lion whose bones he has. He even says he has the bones of the dog who traveled with Lewis and Clark but refuses to give him his name, Seaman. Isn't part of the power within the bones due to their names? Maybe I've been doing magic wrong my entire life! It's possible since I learned everything I know simply by listening to Blizzard of Ozz ten thousand times.
Just before Ollie is sacrificed, he realizes that people will do anything for love. Except for that one thing. I never did know what that one thing was. I have a feeling it involved the anus. Speaking of Meatloaf, have you ever been to karaoke when somebody decided to sing "Paradise by the Dashboard Light"? That fucking song should be outlawed at karaoke joints. It feels like it's twenty minutes long and it's super repetitive! Audience members should be allowed to walk up on stage and kick people in the crotch when they choose karaoke songs that last more than four minutes. I almost said three but I thought I'd be generous in my make-believe laws.
Oh yeah! Also just before he's killed, Tarantula saves him from getting killed.
Maybe the one thing Meatloaf wouldn't do for love was say he was sorry.
Because Jefe isn't able to make a sacrifice to Ah Puch, Ah Puch takes the life of his son who rots away in seconds. Pissed off, as he should be, Jefe renounces Ah Puch. It's a really poorly thought out decision that he shouldn't have made while not thinking clearly due to his son's death because Ah Puch sends all of the Death's Head Moths to devour him. It's gross.
This is even grosser.
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