Touching the Sphincter of God.
At the end of the (probable) penultimate installment, Constantine had just brained Felix Faust with his tallywacker. The day had yet to be saved though because all of the DC Magic Users were still trapped within the Thaumaton. And, um, that's where we begin. I guess.
Oh hey! Guess what! That thing that happened last issue? Forget it. It was different! Fucking comic books.
The fake John that steals the power from Faust and dies giving it back to the DC Mages is one of John's little Psychisms, one of his inner demons. It escaped from The House of Mystery and found itself in an after-school special where it learned to love! And then it gave up its life to save Zatanna and the others. Just like Constantine would never do. Must suck when one of the shittiest aspects of your personality outshines you in front of the woman you love.
Zatanna: "That was so romantic! Why can't you be romantic like that, John?"
Constantine: "But Zee! I am! I mean, that was me! Just imagine how much love the real me has to give if my penchant for kicking puppies can learn to love so strongly!"
Zatanna: "Really? That's what that aspect was? You actually...enjoy kicking puppies?"
Constantine: "Of course not! I mean, not anymore, obviously."
Well, he could have said what I just had him say above this panel!
Constantine throws a fit when he realizes how disappointed Zatanna was that he didn't actually die for her. I can see that. How the fuck do you win Zee's heart? If you die for her, she'll love you forever but what good is it? If you don't die for her, she resents you for not dying for her! That chick has some seriously backwards thinking!
Constantine probably isn't abandoning the Justice League Dark anyway. I mean, I wouldn't mind if he did! He's a loner at heart. He should be doing his own thing in his own comic book and leave the team stuff to other mages. Zatanna thinks he's doing what she thinks he does best: putting his own needs above everyone else's. But he's probably actually doing what he actually does best: a little misdirection! He'll probably come back and destroy the Thaumaton and kiss the girl. Although, seriously, I really do hope he's running out on them to pout and despise himself and go on believing he doesn't deserve friends over in his own comc book.
After John leaves, everything comes to a grinding halt. No fighting. No demons. No magic. No demons. No Constantine. No demons. Everything just comes to a grinding halt. Because the souls of Nanda Parbat have fed on Angel Wings and are ready to move the entire place to a dimension in a better neighborhood. So Zatanna risks everything because magic has risks or something and teleports them all away before Nanda Parbat disappears. And by all, I mean the main members of Justice League Dark and the Trinity of Sin and their buddies. I guess Blue Devil and Shade the Changing Man had to fend for themselves.
Although I'm not sure why John is there. Artistic error?
Fuck the House of Mystery! It's the more bullshit house anyway! Go get the House of Secrets, John! But you have to let Rain live there with you, okay?