Is it a bad sign for Blue Beetle that he's hanging out with Justice League International? Get away from them, Blue Beetle! You'll catch their curse!
Geoff Johns: "You know what we should do? I'll hint at a traitor in the midst of the group. And for four or five issues, I'll keep mentioning it and leaving clues as to who it might be. But then six issues in, we'll just make the traitor the person the internet has speculated on the least and then everything will unravel in a gigantic crossover involving everyone in the DC Universe!"
Dan Didio: "No. Stop it. Knock it off! Not every story arc has to involve every hero in the universe!"
Geoff Johns: "When was the last time we used Brother Power? What if Brother Power ended up being the guy behind the mask of the big universal ultimate evil? Yeah?"
Dan Didio: "What did I just tell you? This is one issue! A single issue! Don't seed future plots. Don't involve anybody except the Justice League International. Just a beginning, a middle, and an ending! Got it?"
Geoff Johns: "Okay, okay."
Dan Didio: "Fine. Great."
Geoff Johns: "..."
Geoff Johns: "But how'd you like the Brother Power idea for another comic book?"
Dan Didio: "Oh, fucking terrific man. Brilliant, yeah? Keep it up!"
The issue begins with a note saying that the events of this issue take place after Justice League #12. Maybe that's because they'll all be gossiping about Wonder Woman and Superman fucking. I bet Kryptonian penises are barbed! And Amazonian vaginas are light Venus Fly Traps. These two are probably the only ones in the DCnU that can actually fuck each other.
Justice League International are in Africa (again?) trying to rescue some U.N. Weapons Inspectors that have been taken hostage. It's too bad because Batwing thought he'd finally escaped this group of losers last issue. But here they are on his turf again, dragging him into their inability to save the world. But for once I actually have high hopes for the JLI! Dan Jurgens isn't writing the book so that's a good sign. Unless Geoff Johns and Dan Didio feel they need to respect Dan Jurgens vision of these guys. You know? Don't fuck with established continuity!
Booster Gold is chatting with Guy Gardner from some command location. He's trying to convince him that the real Justice League were going to meet them and work together. Perhaps it's because Hal Jordan left the team and the Justice League is recruiting. Or, as Guy thinks, Booster is simply lying and trying to get them to give it their best.
No, Wonder Woman is going to be grossed out.
Why does the United Nations have to approve new members? Aren't they being funded by Bruce Wayne now? Or did I just make that assumption since I knew the United Nations were embarrassed by these guys when Batman told them they were fully funded. I just figured Batman was doing it to keep them out of trouble.
I hope all the fanboys aren't upset when it's revealed that The Olympian is gay.
Or he's just unsure of Booster Gold's motives. I'm also unsure why keeping this crappy team together is so important. But then Booster knows the future! Maybe this team somehow keeps the timeline from ripping apart?
And Blue Beetle just came by to speak with Cyborg because Beetle is under the mistaken impression that this is the effective Justice League.
I get the feeling Johns isn't reading Tony Bedard's Blue Beetle. Because this is the moment where the scarab would freak out because Jaime is telling everyone his secret. And then Beetle would begin blasting everyone.
I don't actually know how those two things are similar. I just wanted to provide everyone with the image of The Hulk giving someone a hand job.
Booster Gold calls the team together because they're about to go on their first mission for the United Nations. Booster says he knows the future and says that Justice League International will eventually be greater than the Justice League. He might be misremembering some of his history lessons from the future. Perhaps if Skeets were here to help clear things up. OMAC isn't around for the meeting so August General in Iron goes off to find him. He finds him downloading information in the security room and gets blasted by a Brother Eye style bolt from OMAC's fin.
August General must play a lot of Modern Warfare 3!
I should probably be careful about saying things like that. I once killed a girl when I kept pronouncing Linux with a long "i" at a New Year's Eve Party. She kept correcting me and when I kept pronouncing it wrong, she just became more and more frustrated with me. And then later that year, she died from an embolism in her brain. I should probably be more careful with the things I say since I'm so powerful. Um, and remorseful! Very remorseful. Not bragging about the tragedy my super villain powers caused at all.
OMAC is also very powerful and he proves it to the rest of the League in a very disturbing way.
Somebody get me a welder's torch, stat!
It doesn't take OMAC long to begin beating the shit out of the rest of the Justice League International. But it isn't just Brother Eye controlling OMAC. Someone else has reprogrammed Brother Eye and OMAC to do his bidding. My guess is it's Maxwell Lord. Got to get him back in the pages of Justice League somehow, right?
Blue Beetle puts up the best fight against OMAC until OMAC accesses Beetle's Scarab's controls and forces it to open a Reach Boom Tube that sucks Jaime back to the home planet of The Reach. That probably won't last for long because it would interfere with Blue Beetle's comic book series. Unless it's simply the beginning of a gigantic Geoff Johns Crossover with The Reach. Blue Beetle does manage to stall OMAC long enough for Booster and Godiva to get away. But instead of coming up with a plan, Booster confesses his sins.
Well of course that's all you memorized! You came back as a Time Thief! But where the hell has Skeets gone? He knows shit. He was with Booster in an issue of Stormwatch so I know he exists!
Is the Skeets protocol the only thing left of Skeets in the New 52? Did the artist in Stormwatch just completely fuck shit up by including Skeets?
Once Kevin changes back, time stops. Booster Gold is confronted by Booster Gold. The future Booster Gold has the ability to stop time (unless that's Rip Hunter's doing) and he's wearing an A.R.G.U.S. badge.
Fucking Christ! Somebody put a leash on Geoff Johns already! Does everything have to be an all out end of everything disaster? Ceasing to exist now? Is DC planning another Reboot already? Or are they setting the stage for returning to their old Universe?
Later, Batman has a conversation with Brother Eye. Brother Eye tells Batman that Brother Eye's new programmer will kill Batman if Batman doesn't join with him. But the programmer is never revealed. The issue ends saying the story will be continued in Justice League 2013. That must be the story arc that was hinted at in the Coming Soon section of Justice League #12 where Batman and Superman are fighting. The League splits in two. A huge war begins. And Justice League America is created with a new version of Vibe. Things must be pretty awful if Vibe is back. Ugh!
Justice League International Annual #1 Rating: No change. I believe I've made it policy to not change the ranking of a comic book on how good or bad (usually bad) an Annual is. But that was the last Justice League International story. I must say Geoff Johns kept them the loveable in-fighting losers they've always been. August General in Iron is on his deathbed. Godiva and The Olympian are hospitalized. OMAC is gone and Kevin Kho is in a khoma. Guy Gardner walked out just in time. Blue Beetle was teleported to another galaxy. And Booster Gold has ceased to exist. That might be their best ass kicking ever! I'm glad they saved it for the Annual!