Friday, January 29, 2016

Martian Manhunter #8

Why are those Martians pointing? Don't they have cell phones?

Rating: -2 Ranking. I fucking don't know what happened to this comic book. At first I was kind of interested. Then I got more interested. Then I thought it was a fantastic concept and really portraying J'onn J'onzz well. And then this whole transdimensional time jump Martian rebellion apocalypse happened and I began to despise it. I'm not enjoying it anymore at all.

This issue, Mister Biscuits finally realized that J'onn should have sided with Earth from the beginning because Mars doesn't make cookies (at least not cookies without vegetables in them). That's what I fucking told you as soon as I realized you had to make a choice, asshole! I said, "Well, does Mars have cookies? Because if Mars doesn't have cookies then Mars is going to have to die." That's when I looked up Martian cookies and found that they're made with zucchini and threw up all over myself.

To try to stop what I assume is everybody's flagging interest in this comic book, it ends with two giant mecha about to engage in battle. I might find that exciting if it were a video game and I got to control one of them. But since I'll just be looking at pictures of giant mecha punching each other, it might as well be Batman slugging a bunch of thugs in an alley. And by "thugs" I mean "low level comic book antagonists" and not "wink wink I'm really saying nigger." The Euphemism Treadmill strikes again! Thanks Obama!

You know, my use of the "Thanks Obama!" meme in the previous statement looks really bad coming so closely after the "thug is just Fox News' way of getting to say nigger regularly on television" bit. Although that kind of is Obama's fault since having a black president has really made them lose their minds. I mean, it exposed that they had already severely lost their minds but now their mostly white men's spittle-flying diatribes against a black man is like a floodlight on their racism.

I don't actually believe that all the pundits on Fox News are racist. But they've definitely decided that the Republican Party could use the racist vote and so they court them constantly. Which, I suppose, makes them fucking racists. Nevermind.

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