Batman Europa #2

If you were smart like me, you'd recognize the city behind Batman as Prague!

Fine. I didn't recognize the city! Are you happy that you caught me in a lie?! I just remembered that last issue ended by saying "Next: Prague!" So last issue Batman and The Joker were in Germany. This issue, they'll be in that country that Prague is in. You know the one. My readership is the smartest on the net so y'all don't need me to tell you where Prague is, do you?

I hope Prague is a city and not a country or I just made myself look stupid!

This issue begins with Batman battling a giant robot in Prague! Dammit! I missed like half the fight because the comic book started in the middle of it! That pisses me off because giant robots fighting is my favorite thing to read about in comic books! Plus Batman mentions the robot already defeated The Joker! I would be super angry right now if I didn't know that comic books love pulling this trick and the story will flashback to sometime before the giant robot fight so that I can read the entire thing.

Batman begins giving an oral report about Prague on the third page. What the fuck am I reading? An educational comic book?! Did DC Comics get government money to publish a comic book that teaches middle-aged men about international cities?! Look, sirs! I do not need to know about Prague! They probably don't even speak English there! I guess I have to know about Prague so I can understand how the city is a metaphor for the relationship between Batman and The Joker! Bah.

The worst part of this entire experience is that I now have the theme song for Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? stuck in my head! Fucking Rockapella.

Read this history! It'll probably be important later!

Batman and his new friend Nina have arrived on the last day of Masopust which sounds dirty but is just Pragueish Mardi Gras (which sounds dirtier!). People are in Kill Bill costumes and V for Vendetta costumes and Doom Patrol costumes (although it's probably really an Invisible Man costume) and a bunch of other costumes that don't have "sexy" in front of them because they're doing it wrong. I think Nina isn't supposed to be in costume but she looks like she's in a variant of a Carmen Sandiego costume.

Nina's attacked by Clockwork Men while trying to lure out the person who infected The Joker and Batman with the virus that's killing them and forcing them to work together. Although I don't think The Joker is taking it seriously. Still, he helps Batman battle the Clockwork Men to the beginning of this comic book.

Nina is taking by the Trojan Horse (he's the big villain!) while The Joker is sucked into the chest cavity of the giant clockwork robot Batman was fighting at the beginning. So I guess the story has sort of caught up to the beginning. Now Batman just has to beat the clockwork giant so he can find the clue to the next city to be investigated. Hmm. This really is like Carmen Sandiego.

Batman and The Joker defeat the giant robot and I'm wondering why the story didn't just continue from page two or begin at page three. That intro served no purpose! I mean, it got me excited for a giant robot fight but then the giant robot fight was disappointing and lackluster and now I just wish the first two pages had been left out. Anyway, the Dysfunctional Duo find their next clue.

More often than not, employees of DC Comics spell "cemetery" incorrectly.

And off to Paris they go! Whee.

Batman Europa #2 Rating: No change. I don't see the appeal of this comic book series. Batman and The Joker working together is silly. As if Batman couldn't get Wonder Woman or Superman or The Flash on the case with him while locking up The Joker on the Justice League Satellite with Cyborg pumping him for information. Hell, doesn't Batman know enough scientific geniuses to cure this virus himself? After all the lives The Joker has taken, why would Batman put up with this whole partnership thing? I'd imaging Batman can hardly stand to look at the psychopath! I guess Batman really does have strong feelings for The Joker. I hope the final page of this series is like that first scene in New 52 Catwoman #1! Joker can be stripped down to his hilarious polka dot briefs as he lays across Batman's bear chest, still glowing from his mindbending Bat-orgasm. It really might be leading that way because they're headed to Paris next! Isn't that the romantic capital of the world? I mean, after Lodi, California, of course.