Sunday, January 31, 2016

Batman and Robin Eternal #17


B-A-T-M-A-N-I-N-C-A-I-R-O!

Rating: No change. Surprise, surprise! Guess what it took seventeen issues to get the reader to say, "Doi!" Batman didn't shoot a kid's parents that night in Cairo! What a twist! I'm still shaking off the shock of that revelation! I'm all like, "How could a comic book portray an event so inaccurately? Why would comic book creators want to fool me into believing something that would never, ever fucking happen in the whole history of the fucking canon DC Youniverse had happened?! Do they hate me? Are they purposefully fucking with my mind? Am I stupid enough to keep giving them my money so they can pretend to tell me a story that is shocking beyond belief only to eventually get around to sort of muttering under their breath, 'Oh, um, yeah, about that. I sort of, you know, lied.' Bastards!"

I guess I'm supposed to be on the edge of my seat about future revelations like how Cassandra was supposed to kill Harper's parents or how Jean-Paul Valley is a huge disappointment to the readers. I mean to Mother. Maybe we can just get to the final page where Dick hugs Bruce before they go into the Batcave to touch tips.

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