Monday, January 16, 2017

Gotham Academy: Second Semester #3

Maps makes some new friends.

The Review!
No change. Pizza Detective Club solves yet another weird mystery at Gotham Academy. This time it's an English teacher who's a witch bent on burning all the books in revenge of being dumped by the scrawny Mr. Scarlet. He must be fantastic at cunnilingus because, looking at him, I'd guess that fucking him would be like rolling around on top of a bundle of sticks covered in maple syrup. Colton is still in love with Kyle but Eric might be dropping his crush on Maps now that she burned his notebook. Not that she did it on purpose! Remember the witch!? She totally mind-controlled Maps the way I'd like to mind-control Maps. But I wouldn't ask her to burn books, if you get what I'm getting at. I'd compel her to Dungeon Master every night so I could get my Wood Elf Bard up to epic levels!

During the mystery solving, Colton gets busted again for breaking and entering and theft. But this time, he's going to be expelled. I'm sure everybody will take pity on him when they realize he wears sunglasses constantly because his father beats him. I'm making assumptions but this is basically Degrassi Junior High in comic book form and thirty years later and that's the kind of story you'd expect from that show. It's never-ending drama for five seasons until you get some titty in the movie finale and then maybe drive drunk, kill a kid, and go to prison for years.

What did we learn this issue? Headmaster Hammer doesn't give a shit that every single teacher at his school is involved in supernatural shenanigans but when one student breaks a few minor laws while investigating said shenanigans, Hammer loses his fucking head. The American Education System, amirite?!

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