Sunday, January 15, 2017

Supergirl #4

Spoiler alert: zero bum shots in this issue.

The Review!
No change. Instead of one Cyborg Superman, this issue contains hundreds of them. That doesn't make the story better because when you multiply a negative number, it still remains negative. Unless the other Cyborg Supermen should also be thought of as a negative number and then the equation would wind up positive. But that can't be true because this wasn't the best Cyborg Superman comic book I've ever read. It was just another boring one because the character is boring. I'm sorry to have to drop that truth bomb on all of the Cyborg Superman fans who thought he was exciting. He was only invented to make people wonder if the real Superman had come back from the dead. He could have been Clone Superman, or Hoodoo Superman, or Sentient Protoplasmic Jelly Superman. But Dan Jurgens went with the cyborg angle because Dan Jurgens is a robot with no input devices to upgrade his knowledge so he's basically stuck in 1986. Cyborgs were pretty fucking hot in 1986! None of that explains why Steve Orlando has decided that another Cyborg Superman story would be exciting in 2016 and 2017. Am I supposed to be excited about them because of the storytelling trend of using robots and machines as a mirror to our own humanity? Probably because that's basically what's happening to Supergirl in this story. She's learning what it means to be human. Too bad I'm just learning what it means to be bored.

Also, I still can't stand Cat Grant. Such a terrible human being. She thinks she's so much better than everybody else and she speaks down to them constantly and acts like she knows everything and is super hyper-arrogant! Why would anybody read anything I write? I mean she writes! So awful.

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