Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Harley Quinn #7

Face piercings and tattoos are way easier than actually having an interesting and unique personality.

When I give writing advice, I usually give terrible Grunion Guy writing advice that doesn't make any sense but makes me laugh. Today, I offer real writing advice: writing doesn't just take place when you sit down to do the hard labor of writing. "Duh!" you're probably saying. Well, "Fuck you!" is what I'm saying back! Sorry! I'm always a little pre-defensive when I know I'm posting something on the Internet because the Internet is full of Know-It-All Motherfuckers whose favorite word is "Actually." To explain a bit further about the writing, you know how some people say they do their best thinking in the shower? I'm sure you've seen all those Memes that are labeled as Shower Thoughts. It isn't that the shower is a magical place where ideas fall like hot water from a shower head or masturbatory juices from self-pleasured genitals. It's just a place where your brain is freed up from concentrating on anything else. Unless you're going through some kind of physical therapy from an accident or a stroke, taking a shower is so routine that your brain doesn't need to concentrate on any part of the process. It's freed up to wander and contemplate. Most people spend nearly every minute of the day engaged in some other activity that takes up brain power which means you're not doing writing. When you sit down to write, it suddenly becomes difficult because you have nothing to show for the other twenty three hours and forty-five minutes of your day spent not at the computer (or typewriter or pad of paper or mustard-stained napkin). You're beginning the race unprepared for the starting gun. You at least need to stretch and probably eat the right kind of meal and hydrate. Um, this isn't running advice. I know nothing about running. So getting back to writing, if you aren't writing away from the computer, you're going to have a hard time writing at the computer. That means your brain cannot be constantly occupied by being on the Internet, or engaged in text conversations, or playing Candy Crush. You know why people think the shower is so magical? You can't take a fucking phone in there!

And before you get on me about being down on people always needing their phones, fuck you. I don't care about people always being on their phones. But if you think of yourself as a writer, you'd do yourself a huge favor to turn it off and leave the headphones out of your ears and go for a fucking walk without anything but your own head-space. My writing has suffered drastically over the last two years because I began listening to a lot of podcasts during work and walks instead of just being up in my own head thinking about things (there are some other reasons which lead to wanting to tune out some things which has lead to listening to Podcasts. But I won't get into that stuff because it's all been mentioned in this blog before). I always had something to discuss before getting into the comic book because I had many hours without distraction to "write."

One more bit of evidence that what I'm trying to get across is accurate and not just a condemnation of cell phones. Keep your bloody fucking cell phones. I don't give a shit who uses them or when. But one of the reasons transcendental meditation is so huge with ambitious extroverts is that it forces them to take those moments of down time where they end up in the Shower Thought space. The more time you allow yourself to not be engaged in anything but a rote activity that your body can take care of practically all by itself (I'm not talking about rote activities like Candy Crush or watching television where your mind is otherwise engaged. Even listening to music can interfere, although mostly the thinking interferes with the music and you'll find yourself replaying a song you were excited to hear again because you thought right through it and missed it), the easier you'll find writing when it's time to actually sit down and do the laborious part. You know, the actual writing.

As far as Harley Quinn goes, this is the last issue I'm reading. I'd like to just get it over with as fast as possible and maybe go eat dinner, so I'm going to write the ranking review bit before reading it!

The Ranking!
No change! I really liked the part where she said "Holee Something-olee!" So hilarious. And the way she mentioned her beaver in that bit that sounded dirty! It was like watching another Austin Powers movie! Plus her rooster is named Mike! As in Mike Cock! As in My Cock! Shit, my stomach muscles are sore from laughing so hard. Oh! You know what my other favorite bit was? When Harley Quinn almost fucked that other woman! Wowzers! So modern! P.S. If I have anything else to add after I read it (which I doubt I will), I'll add a postscript.

P.P.S. I mean a another postscript! After this one!

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