Monday, January 2, 2017

Shade the Changing Girl #2

Whoa! Look how crazy this comic book looks! It must be super smart and insightful and full of the arts!

People generally look down on happy, cheerful, and joyous people as stupid jerks. Because they obviously can't be intelligent if they aren't angry or dissatisfied! The way you prove how smart you are to somebody else is to point out how fucking stupid and terrible everything is. But I think happiness and joy get a bad rap simply because it's not as intense a feeling as sadness or pain or heartache or anger. But as an older person (not that older! You'll see soon, you jerko young people! You'll be old one day too! That's my curse on you!), I don't want to constantly be bothered by intense emotions. Drama doesn't make life exciting. It makes life tiresome and distracts a person from enjoying themselves. Who has the energy to be angry at everything all the time?! Not me! About all the energy I can muster is a biting word or two thrown out into the void of the Internet like a tithe to the Gods of righteousness and condemnation. If you young people want to be so angry about everything, I don't mind. But you're really exhausting me about some of the bullshit you get angry about. Christ. Stop going off like a shotgun and blowing holes in everything! Maybe work on getting laser focused and fixing something big like sexism or racism or something because I'm tired of getting hit by your buckshot every time I call somebody a retard. Let's face it: I'm definitely going to call my friend Doom Bunny retarded at least three times this week. But it will be in private so you probably shouldn't be angry about it. Also, I probably shouldn't have admitted to doing it. Mostly because I probably won't do it and now people will be mad that I even joked about it! Because words literally cause harm, if you fall for that sort of propaganda used to get people to just shut up and act the way other people want them to act. You can't shame a person who has no shame, motherfuckers!

That point I made about people criticizing things to prove how smart they are? I wanted to say something else about that! I've always found it's easy to read something and instantly tear it apart because it doesn't meet the approved standards of the person reading it. I find it's much harder to quell those instantaneous reactions and take a moment to think, "What if I'm wrong? What if I'm just reacting to the most shallow aspect of the thing? What if I were to take a second look and try to figure out what makes this thing, this art, interesting, or well created, or intelligent?" You aren't always right because you thought the thing you thought, you cocky fucking bastard. Sometimes things aren't terrible simply because you thought they were terrible on first inspection. It's much smarter to ferret out the good in something than to tear it apart and shit all over it. That's something even dogs can do! And they're super dumb!

Oh, sure! Now the dog lovers are all up in arms! But you know, in comparison to a lot of creatures, dogs are pretty fucking dumb. If you taught your little brother the kinds of things you taught your dog, nobody would be impressed by your little brother's intelligence. They would just think he's a fucking idiot for doing everything you tell him to do. Give me an animal with a sense of fucking dignity! Like a raccoon!

So now you're going to argue with me about how a filthy animal that digs in the trash has any dignity?! Sheesh! Maybe if you invited the raccoon in for tea, you'd see just how much dignity one has. Have you ever thought to do that? No? Well, fuck you then! You don't know what you're talking about! Raccoons are quite dapper and dignified when invited round for tea and biscuits.

This comic book is take itself too literally.

In this comic book, the poetry of Shade the Changing Man, Rac Shade, appears in rainbow colored Narration Boxes. The Narration Boxes of Shade the Changing Girl, Loma, are in blue. Then there are pink Narration Boxes that belong to somebody else. They appeared last issue but I just assumed they were also Shade's. That was a bad assumption because you know what they say about assumptions? I thought I knew but I can only make the word ass and u and mptions out of that, so I guess I was wrong about what they say. Anyway, the pink Narration Boxes belong to a third person. Possibly Megan who was pushed out of her own body? Or maybe it's some aspect of Loma that's left in her Metan body still in the Area of Madness. There's a moment this issue where a pink comet is zooming past a sun and moon in space thinking, "What. Where. Why. Wow." See? It's probably Megan. Just like some aspect of Troy Grenzer remained when Shade took his body, Megan's consciousness is still out there and still somehow attached to her body.

Shade walks into school for the first time since she came out of her coma and she quickly realizes everybody at the school hates or fears her. Why do I suddenly have the urge to croak "Corn Nuts?" and over enunciate the word "eskimo"?

Meanwhile on Meta, Mellu is investigating the Case of the Stolen Madness Vest although it hardly matters. Whoever took it probably put it on (they did!) and their body is now slowly decomposing in the Area of Madness (it is! Probably!).

Shade discovers the library at high school, much to the chagrin of a small girl. It's probably Teacup, right? It's been so long since I read Issue #1 that I don't remember if Teacup made an appearance before Megan drowned while doing a shitload of ecstasy. Anyway, it's obvious that Megan never showed an interest in the library before, and this tiny girl (Teacup, right?!) used to hide out here from the mean girls.

Ugh! Don't read Yeats! I can't bear to read a character who picks up a book of Yeats poetry and understands it without any outside sources or further reading! But if she is going to get into Yeats, please at least let her read something other than "The Second Coming"! Yeats wrote way more poems than just that one!

Heather's Numbers Two through Four come in search of Teacup in the library. But Teacup hides from them, as does Shade. But she can't help herself from engaging in a little Madness. Probably because she doesn't have any real control over it. Maybe it's her Madness Nemesis! Shade the Changing Man had the American Scream. Maybe Shade the Changing Girl has the American Teen!

I can name all of the books, plays, and poems these are from! The whale is obviously from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the one-eyed thingy is from Lady Chatterley's Lover, the hand holding the skull is from Harry Potter and the Skull of Squicking, the letter A is from Dr. Seuss's ABC, the raven is from The Sandman, and the cat is from Garfield.

Shade thinks that maybe Teacup was her friend but Teacup is terrified of her. So she makes a big scene in the library and some guy named River is all, "I'd heard you were all about the drama. But do you mind having it somewhere else?" Right?! Libraries should totally be drama-free zones! And anybody who ever makes a scene or an uproar or a loud sneeze in a library should be banned for life. Libraries should have no tolerance policies for shenanigans! Although I did once masturbate in the stairwell of the library at Portland State University, so obviously I only mean that if the person gets caught they should be banned for life!

I almost certainly, probably, never did that thing I just said I did. So gross! Besides, I was barely eighteen! Possibly even still seventeen! I was too young to cope with the freedom of college! Besides, nobody ever specifically sat me down and said, "Do not masturbate in public stairwells."

Anyway, River is Shade's neighbor. He never knew Megan so Shade feels like maybe she can safely become a friend of his. He might not be thinking the same thing but I bet he gets pulled into her madness anyway. Especially because his name is River and that's got to be symbolic for something soon!

Meanwhile, the pink girl in space with the pink Narration Boxes makes an appearance. So, see, that's another character or something!

Shade goes home to watch old timey television and ponder how she's going to figure out who Megan was and how to make her better. Then it's time for the back-up comic!

The back-up comic book isn't worth reading. It's all in-your-face about how change is a good thing and not changing is a bad thing which totally ends with a sex joke. I think. I don't know. I stopped paying attention to narratives that feel like clubs to the back of the head.

The Ranking!
No change! I'm not infatuated with this book but I'm still intrigued and enjoying it. So that's a review, right?

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