Sunday, January 29, 2017

Trinity #5

"Hey, has anybody done the thing with Batman in the dark and Superman in the light? Oh, and, um, Wonder Woman like straddling them! The dark and light, not Batman and Superman!" -- Francis Manapul. Probably.

The clerk at my comic book store, while ringing up my comics, picked up this issue and said, "I love this cover." I responded, "Shut the fuck up, you retail monkey." You have to let these comic book clerk nerds know where they stand or, before you know it, they're spoiling every comic book as they ring you up. I admit this guy's comment was benign but if you let them talk, they'll definitely ruin the ending of half your books as they're ringing you out. Or even worse, they'll make faces and fart noises as they look through the books you're reading.

This issue begins with a flashback to how this all started. It began with Poison Ivy tripping her balls off on Black Mercies. While in the Black Mercy dreamworld, she encounters Mongula, Mongul's daughter. That might not actually be her name. Her name could be War-Toddler, for all I know. Poison Ivy adopted her as her own until Mongul shut the door on Pam's Black Mercy hallucinations. Now she's trying to find a way to get her dream daughter back. Is that why she sent Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman into the Black Mercy world? So they can defeat Mongul for her? Also, how did she know that selling the Black Mercy seeds to Jon Smith would catch Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman?

Oh wait. Poison Ivy explains that immediately after I continue reading! I'm so impatient!

Remember how Swamp Thing was attracted to the farm in Superman Annual #1? Same thing here! This soil is the shit!

Back in the Black Mercy Dreamworld, Batman points out that Mongul was last seen buried in Black Mercies. That's probably true! He's been all over the place in The New 52 because DC Comics seems to forget that they have more than six major villains and also that writers are allowed to create new ones. So instead, Mongul attacks and is shunted away to The Phantom Zone. When he's needed again, he appears and then gets shoved under Black Mercies or holed up on Oa or locked in Amanda Waller's Catacombs or whatever. It doesn't really matter as long as there's eventually a plausible reason for him to escape so he can cause more trouble. This plausible reason seems better than most since he's supposedly stuck in the Black Mercy world and attacking from there.

In their fight against Mongul, each of the Trinity points out what Mongul can't stop. Apparently they each mention the thing that most embodies who they are. Superman says, "You can't control our dreams!" Yep, Superman is totally the ideal and the dream of humanity at its best. Batman is all, "Or our actions." Yep, Batman is representative of taking action against those who would abuse others. And Wonder Woman says, "Nor our emotions." Yep, Wonder Woman is a woman.

Mongul explains to the Super Friends how the Black Mercies work and how the plural of Black Mercies is actually Black Mercy but I've been refusing to say that. Also he explains the origin of his daughter.

Such a micro-racism to say Black Mercy are bad and White Mercy is good.

Of course White Mercy isn't 'good' exactly. But she's good for Mongul's ego. I hope White Mercy becomes a major enemy of the Super Sons!

For some reason, the Super Friends' interactions with their younger selves in their dreams have allowed White Mercy to take over the world. It's comic book bad guy logic, so just roll with it. It's usually why super-villains have to monologue their evil plans because they don't usually make a lot of sense.

Clark, Bruce, and Diana awaken but they're being controlled by White Mercy. So once again, fucking Superman is being controlled by a super-villain! This fucker just needs to get off of the Earth because he's the biggest danger to world peace that's ever existed!

The Ranking!
No change!

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