Saturday, January 7, 2017

Shade the Changing Girl #4

The male gaze sexualizes every comic book cover with a woman on it. Especially one that's possessed by a gawky bird creature from another planet. So fucking sexy.

The Review!
No change. In this issue, Shade the Changing Girl learns the power of apologies. The title is even called "All Apologies". I totally couldn't remember who sang that so I asked Lord Google. He said, "What? Are you kidding? You don't know? How uncool are you?" And I was all, "I'm not uncool! I just don't remember! I'm like old and shit!" And Lord Google was all, "Snort! It's Nirvana, you musically illiterate plebe." And I was all, "Oh shit! I totally should have known that. I mean, I can sing the fucking stupid song!" And then I sang the fucking stupid song. Then I thought about how embarrassing it would be to admit that I couldn't remember that Nirvana sang "All Apologies" and I said, out loud, "No fucking way I'm writing this in the commentary!"

After apologizing to all of Megan's friends and family members so that Shade can feel more relaxed in her new life, she remembers what happened at the lake. She remembers she drowned and nobody sprang to save her and everybody was kind of happy that she was brain dead. Whether or not she wields that knowledge as power against her friends will have to wait to be seen. Because after Shade realizes her friends aren't just afraid of her because she's an asshole but also because they basically let her die, the story ends and it's time for the back-up story.

But first, I should probably say something smart about this story. Here it goes! You should always apologize to people when you feel you've hurt them. But you should never apologize to people who demand that you apologize to them. Because those people are just using it to have power over you. Don't let them! You're only enabling their terrible behavior if you apologize! Besides, an apology given under duress isn't an actual apology. And when you do apologize under duress, 95% of the time, the person will be all, "You don't really mean it. Not good enough. You're gross." So, in closing, you should only apologize if you mean it and you should never apologize if somebody demands one and if you don't apologize when you know you've hurt somebody, you're just being a fucking dick.

Here's a good example of an apology I made this week! While playing Overwatch, my friend was complaining about how nobody on the team was helping take the point. I was frustrated because I kept getting hooked by Roadhog meaning I was mostly respawning and not helping take the point. So I got short with him and went off on how I couldn't help take the point because I was fucking respawning! Then the game ended and we played another game and then I was all, "Sorry about snapping like that, Will. I was just really frustrated and shouldn't have turned on you." No big deal but it really brought the tension back down and we had fun and even began winning again.

Here's a good example of an apology I would choose not to make! If I used the word retard in one of my commentaries and some anon messaged me and said, "You shouldn't use that word and you should apologize because it literally hurts people." Then I would just ignore the message or make a stupid joke because what do I fucking care about somebody trying to get me to change when they'll never interact with me again? People like to say that thing about if you step on somebody's toe, you apologize. Well, sure! But demanding that I fucking not ever do something again and that I should apologize for it isn't the proper reaction to somebody having their toe stepped on. If I stepped on somebody's toe and they screamed at me, "You gross fucking asshole! How dare you, you piece of shit! You're garbage!", I would not apologize to them. I would think to myself, "Ha ha. I'm glad I accidentally stepped on your toe, you lunatic."

The backup story is about Element Girl and how she just wants to be normal. But instead, she isn't normal at all and also lives in a desert. The end.

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