Monday, January 16, 2017

Scooby Apocalypse #9

They're either looking at Scooby's latest shit or Scrappy Doo.

In this issue, Velma decides to ditch the rest of the Scooby Gang because she's feeling guilty for her part in ruining the world. She can't face them so she just leaves the computer open to her report to The Four on The Elysium Project. That's the project that probably ruined the world although, I'm sure, it'll turn out that The Four modified Velma's nanites so she doesn't have to live with the responsibility. Aside from that, nothing much happened. The characters in this comic book have a habit of repeating the same conversations over and over again. I don't think it's their fault. It's Keith and J.M.'s fault! They love to write the same jokes over and over again and since most of the conversations they write are "jokey," things tend to get repeated over and over again. So Daphne and Velma are still bickering but then pointing out that they're getting closer while punctuating that statement with more bickering and mistrust. Fred is still useless. Shaggy is always hungry and usually talking about bodily functions. And Scooby Doo says "Ruh-uh!" and "Ruh-huh!" a lot. No monsters appeared in this one.

No wait! There was one monster: Scrappy Doo! But he was in the back-up story and not the main story. In this issue, he murders a starving puppy. Sure, it's more like the murder of Lenny in Of Mice and Men than the murder of Tommy Devito in Goodfellas. So while Scrappy Doo moans about how he's become a monster, this terrible act of compassion seemingly proves otherwise. Except that he still killed a fucking puppy. What kind of Puppy Power is that? What a piece of shit.

What Did We Learn?
Post-apocalyptic stories can get pretty boring when there isn't any sex. It's just monster killing and foraging for food! These are four young people in a desperately scary situation, spending every single minute with each other. They've got to release the stress and tension in some fashion. And since nobody is hooking up, I suspect there's probably been a lot of sneaking away to masturbate.

The Ranking!
No change!

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