Justice League 3000 #12

How the hell did this book not get canceled in the recent wave of cancellations?

Not that I want this book to be canceled! It's fairly entertaining and it takes place in the year 3000 so DeMatteis and Giffen can practically do whatever the fuck they want without hurting continuity. I know some people care about that kind of thing.

Last issue, Blue Beetle and Booster Gold were found on Old Earth That Was which is now called Takron-Galtos. They were snuggled up nice and cozy in a queen sized cryogenic container. Now they've got to figure out how they're going to survive in the 31st Century! Hopefully they'll also find a way to change the title on this comic book from Justice League 3000 to Blue and Gold 3000.

This reminds me. Why isn't Oberon hanging out with Mister Miracle over on Earth-2?

Booster and Beetle wander around the prison planet unescorted because they've never been known to wander into crazy hijinks before. Although this issue is called "Another Fine Mess," so I think that explicitly states that crazy hijinks are eminent.

Some guy on Takron-Galtos found one of Beetle's suits from when he was overweight and has been wearing it around chasing down no-goodniks on the prison planet. The Convert warns him to stay away from Booster and Beetle because Terri (or Terry?) wants them for study later.

Cameos by Starro, Despero, Frankenstein, and J'onn J'onzz happily munching his oreos.

Are these two just going to go around cracking wise with each other or are they going to get to the bottom of the mystery? You know the mystery? The Mystery of the Preboot Super Buddies Winding Up In The New 52 Future! Maybe the reason they're here is part of The Secret Six's secret!

Meanwhile on Camelot Nine, Wonder Woman gets a centerfold of her hugging demons. And by hugging I mean massacring. It's two sides of the same sword. Kissing. Killing. Practically the same word!

Booster and Beetle find Ted's old stash along with his extra Bug. But it's been upgraded because the pudgy Blue Beetle's father probably found the pudgy Blue Beetle's suit in this hole along with all of this other pudgy Blue Beetle gear.

So far, this is the most exciting thing to happen in fifteen pages!

As they admire Beetle's forged Superman memento, pudgy Blue Beetle attacks!

See? I knew pudgy was the right word!

Beetle and Booster run from Pudgy Blue Beetle because he has Doc Ock claws on his suit and the keys to the overhauled Bug. But they get stopped in their tracks by gigantic mutant rats. And that's where the issue ends except for the Next Issue Blurb.

What could it possibly mean?!

Justice League 3000 #12 Rating: No change. My favorite part of this issue was how Keith and J.M. just completely abandoned any pretense that this comic book was about the future Justice League and just fucked around with Teddy and Mikey (unless he'd rather go by Jonny?) all issue. Not a lot happened and it was the typical goofy back and forth between these two slackers but I think that's all this issue needed to be.