Batman Eternal #33

Does anybody else think it's time we start investigating these district attorneys who don't fight to put police on trial when they've killed an unarmed person in the "line of duty"? Perhaps we should also look into Grand Jury tampering while we're at it because I find it hard believe that nobody on any jury seems to ever think any of these police officers shouldn't at least be tried before a real jury in a real court looking at the real evidence. It seems strange to me that we keep getting people in Grand Juries who don't mind having state sanctioned murderers roaming the streets without any kind of oversight whatsoever. Where is the Super Nanny version of a District Attorney to come along and point out that if you consistently teach children (you know, police officers) that punishment is inconsistent (you know, nonexistent), they will continue to misbehave (you know, murder)?

I wonder if I can start a t-shirt line with images of police officers who have murdered civilians with the word "MURDERER" plastered across them? Is that something legal I can do? Maybe sell them at protests? Of course, the money wouldn't go to help anybody. This is a for profit business idea, jerks! What do I look like? An agent of social change?

Speaking of corrupt cops (is that redundant? I don't mind calling all cops corrupt. Until those fabled good cops begin stepping up and pointing out the corrupt cops and the problems created by an insular group who think they're paid to shepherd the populace, fuck them all), the Gotham Police are still looking to arrest Batman because they're not just corrupt, they're also idiots! Forget the real crooks! Let's go after the guy that catches all the criminals and keeps the city safe and makes us look awful at our jobs. Oh! That's probably why they want to stop him! I guess they think catching Batman is easier than doing better at their jobs. That's another reason why they're idiots because it's not! It would be much easier to just be better police.

Looks like Jason Bard is on the verge of turning into one of those good cops!

Batman and Penny-Two now have to run about Gotham destroying all of Batman's weapon caches because they're full of Semtex and grenades which Hush is running about Gotham blowing up. After each explosion, Batarangs are all over the place so it's obviously Batman's doing. Because Batman is known for leaving evidence of his involvement in crimes and/or investigations all over the place.

While Batman and Julia try to destroy one of seventeen caches, the Gotham Police Anti-Batman Enforcer attacks. He's just a guy in a nutty suit that's about to get his ass kicked by The Batman. The fight might go a few more pages than you would think would be needed by an untrained guy in a bulky suit battling The Batman. But that's because Snyder and his team have to come up with a new stories every week. EVERY WEEK! So you can expect a few padded fight scenes thrown in. Fight scenes are to comics what double spacing and larger fonts are to college papers.

Julia and Batman dispatch the Gotham Police (in a kind and loving way, of course!) and then engage the Acid Protocol. That's where Batman destroys the weapons cache by dousing it in hydrochloric acid. Which means that when Hush explodes these caches, hydrochloric acid is blown all over the place! Batman's hidden weapon caches might the deadliest threat to Gotham City's safety! What was he thinking? By the way, that's exactly what Julia Pennyworth asks him: "What the fuck were you thinking, you right cunt?" She's British!

While she and Batman split up to take out the weapon caches, Alfred monitors their movements. And while he's blah blah blahing to Bruce about his daughter's safety, he's not monitoring his daughter's location! Otherwise he would have noticed that Hush has moved in to confront her!

I think she can kick his ass. She's S.A.S! I know they're badass because they defeated Hitman! Or nearly did. Or something. I forget! I'd better go back and reread my Hitman comic books soon.

Batman Eternal #33 Rating: Another weekly that really focused on one thread of the story. Although I like that trend, this was kind of a boring thread. Batman and Julia disarming locks and spraying weapons with acid? Now I'm wishing the fight scene had actually gone longer than it did!