Green Lantern Corps #37

This picture was taken just seconds before John Stewart made the hardest decision in his life (again!) and got them all killed.

I never tire of pointing out how poor John Stewart has the blood of many people (mostly friends!) on his hands. Maybe as a Christmas present to John, I'll stop harping on it. That's mostly Preboot history anyway! Except it's not really since he murdered that one guy early in this series and obviously Yrra is still upset that he destroyed her home planet and he had that one flashback where he had to snipe a planet or something. I forget. I think that's pretty accurate though.

Last issue everybody in the Lantern universe except Simon Baz and Guy Gardner and Larfleeze had been imprisoned or killed by The New Gods. Everybody! Stop pointing out other people who had yet to be captured. They were captured between issues. So now John Stewart can't use his Power of Love ring to free them because nobody is left for him to stalk. I guess he kind of loves Guy Gardner but only in that way that you love that one friend who is an asshole but you know that if he ever gets jumped at the club by ten other guys, you wouldn't jump in to help him out because you know he fucking deserves the beating. So I don't think the ring processes that as true love even though every guy in the world knows that kind of love. But the Star Sapphire ring doesn't quite understand guy love being that this is the first time a Violet Ring has ever been on a male finger.

Indigo-1 has betrayed the other Lanterns, so the Indigo Lanterns have avoided capture. Highfather returns the ring he stole from one of her allies and allows her to leave. Is Highfather a naive idiot? Doesn't he remember that arrogance cometh before cleanliness? Just because he's the most powerful guy in the multiverse (next to Darkseid. And the Anti-Monitor. And possibly Batman), he thinks the Indigo Lanterns are going to throw out their loyalty to the other Corps and side with him? What an asshole. He deserves to get his ass beat by Darkseid on an eternal basis.

Duh! He already knows you captured them! He prevented you from killing them, you idiot!

I guess Van Jensen and Charles Soule didn't compare scripts during Godhead Book II. Marvel probably prevented Soule from talking to any of DC's writers while he finished up his work with DC so that they wouldn't steal any of Charles Soule's ideas that he's going to bring over to Marvel so Marvel can earn millions of dollars with them. Especially if Soule comes up with a character that would be perfect for a summer blockbuster movie!

Orion is currently battling Black Hand and Hal Jordan at the Source Wall. So I guess I forgot about those guys still being free. Also Kyle and Carol are also free even though they had been captured so I was technically right there. Also Guy and Simon were captured which I had forgotten so I was technically wrong there. I think all of my misinformation was a wash though! I said everybody but three Lanterns had been imprisoned or killed and everybody but three Lanterns had been imprisoned or killed! Just, you know, two of them have escaped since then.

The Prison Planet arrives at New Genesis and begins dumping its prisoners in front of Highfather so he can give them a false choice to join him or to be forced to join him.

Yeah. These two choose to be forced to join.

As Highfather blows his rod's load to White Light up Sinestro and Stewart, Malhedron jumps in front of them and takes the blast. Good old Earth emotions have finally convinced him that Highfather is as bad as Darkseid! It's the biggest surprise twist since that other one that everybody already guessed. I think it was the one where Captain Atom was Monarch so DC had to come up with a bigger twist that made no sense and allow Hank Hall to be Monarch.

You made the ultimate mistake of a leader, Highfather. You have to allow your subjects the illusion of choice. It's why democracies work so well because everybody feels they're changing things by participating, even if it's in a rigged system. You also must allow freedom of speech as a venting system to quell rebellion before it can ever become an issue, no matter how much you disagree with the things being said.

Malhedron BOOM Tubes Stewart, Sinestro, and Saint Walker away to a secret hiding place so they can come up with a plan. Malhedron's plan is to run as far away from Highfather as possible. John's plan is to make God seem nicer than he is by telling lies.

Wrong. God did not promise to never curse humanity again.

According to the King James Bible, this was how it all went down:

"And God spake unto Noah, and to his sons with him, saying, 'And I, behold, I establish my covenant with you, and with your seed after you; And with every living creature that is with you, of the fowl, of the cattle, and of every beast of the earth with you; from all that go out of the ark, to every beast of the earth. And I will establish my covenant with you; neither shall all flesh be cut off any more by the waters of a flood; neither shall there any more be a flood to destroy the earth.'"

See? God only promises not to kill everybody with a flood next time. As far as not cursing humanity ever again, well we know that's not true because in the very next section, Noah curses Ham's son Canaan and all his generations because Ham saw him drunk and naked. Now I don't think Noah had the power to make that kind of curse come true, so I'm going to go out on a pretty strong limb and say that God listened to Noah and thought, "Yeah, yeah. That totally makes sense. Curse Ham's kid and all of his future descendants because his father accidentally walked into your tent where you were lying naked in a pile of your own vomit and filth. That's just the kind of petty bullshit I love! Good one, Noah! Curse granted!"

Stewart convinces Malhedron to simply be their Transportation Engineer while they battle Highfather and he agrees.

If Highfather only knew what John meant by "greatest assassin." You know...of his own men! Oh shit. I just ruined my Christmas present to John. I guess it wouldn't be a real Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea Christmas if I didn't ruin it for somebody.

John beats the crap out of Uggha and steals his hammer. Or mace. Whatever. Then Malhedron BOOM Tubes them back to their secret headquarters where they can plan more hit and run attacks on New Genesis. Hopefully Malhedron will add Simon and Guy to the team in Red Lanterns.

Green Lantern Corps #37 Rating: +1 Ranking. I realize they needed Malhedron's help to begin to fight back but it was sort of assumed from the beginning of this entire mess that they would need a New God on their team to battle other New Gods. I like that Malhedron has a more than reasonable excuse for changing sides, and I like that the seed was planted early on in Red Lanterns and built upon until now. But mostly, I really loved how John Stewart took charge and how he's threatened all of New Genesis with death and mayhem until the war is over. Even if he doesn't really plan on killing anybody.