I bet Condor's name is Swan and he's still boring.
This issue is a fantasy issue that takes place in the fantasy realm of Gothtopia so Black Canary might actually be nice to Condor. Which will be great because then he'll get his hopes up again so that she can dash them upon the rocks of brutal heartache! Black Canary is so lucky she gets to do that! As The Bible says, "Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones."
Wait. That's in The Bible? That's pretty fucking cruel, right? Not that I'm agreeing or disagreeing with the sentiment in that if you've been enslaved by certain people, only you know if you'll ever be so angry you want to grab their babies by the feet and smash their tiny heads against the rocks. Because fuck the babies, right? The babies are innocent and all, sure. But can you imagine how hurt the parents of those babies will be seeing their darling children's brains exploding in halos of mist and grisly horror? So I'm not incredulous that perhaps someone in that situation might commit such an atrocity. What's amazing is that people often call The Bible a rulebook for life. So now I know when it's okay to dash baby's heads against rocks. Thanks, The Holy Bible! I bet this is just one example too. It didn't say this is the only time smashing baby's heads will make you happy. How long do you have to be in captivity to justify your actions? What if you're just stuck in a really long queue at the DMV? That's kind of like being in captivity! Or what about your McDonald's manager's new baby? Working there is practically like being enslaved? Fuck man. I'm starting to rethink this whole living life according to morality and ethics derived from empathy and sympathy with my fellow human beings! If I follow The Holy Fucking Bible, I actually have at least one legitimate reason where I can break baby heads! Fuck yes!
Owls are hunters so Strix gets to be Artemis! I would have called her Bubo.
Speaking of Black Canary, she appears even though she refused to leave Kurt Lance's side last issue. Her name is Warbler because she's a blur when she goes to war. Or maybe it's because she makes an annoying sound with her throat. It also could be because she has Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Ugh, Eagle. Stop touching her all of the time! She doesn't like you!
Okay, I'm calm now. Although I may have to watch my DVD of The Bad News Bears tomorrow. A network television viewing just isn't satisfying enough.
Since this is Gothtopia and everybody is hallucinating, maybe Warbler is actually a rabid goat! Eagle is fucking a rabid goat! What a jerk!
The problem winds up being Batman himself. If you've read Detektif Comics #27, you'll remember that Batman remembered that Gotham was a lousy, crime-ridden hellhole and he turned on everyone. The Wings of Truth help lock him away and then they head back home to decide on which stupid Action-Romance they're going to watch.
To do what?
Except they only do that job for a few minutes when, in the middle of the fight, Bluebelle tells Eagle, Warbler, and Artemis that they're help isn't needed and that they should go home. So they do. I get it! Bluebelle just couldn't stand listening to Eagle fawn all over Warbler anymore. I would have sent them home as well, even if Batman was busy breaking my spine. "Go! Go! OW HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I mean, get out of here! I'm okay!"
Back at the dumpster they've been living in that they think is an apartment, The Wings of Truth eat some rat feces and nod off to sleep. Warbler is awakened by a Ra's al Ghul shooting a load of serum in her face and then offering her a deal concerning the story that Birds of Prey was trying to tell before everybody fucking started to hallucinate.
Oh. I guess Warbler isn't a rabid goat. Too bad.
Birds of Prey #28 Rating: No change. I don't feel like I should count this issue against the regular book since it was mostly just fantasy with a few moments squeezed in so that Christy Marx could at least partially continue the story arc she was on when Gothtopia interrupted. I guess I don't mind the interruption though since this book has yet to find its feet after Swierczynski got it drunk behind the bleachers and had his way with it. And by "had his way with it," I mean "wrote a bunch of shitty stories with characters that kept following leads that went nowhere and forgetting why they were doing anything whenever a new plot point came along which they followed because they had no motivations of there own."
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