I forgot this book existed.
Since nobody probably even remembers that this book was being published, let me catch y'all up to speed on what was happening. Ascension told Lois Lane their reasons for doing what they're doing and then launched all the nuclear missiles in the world. I don't know what newspapers will be left to publish Lois's story after all the explosions and fallout and EMPs have quieted down but that's not my problem. That's Lois's problem because she's going to flip the fuck out when she realizes she has the greatest headline in the world ready to go and the world is suddenly out of order.
Lex Luthor found out which hand Jimmy Olsen usually uses when beating off his best pal Superman and placed a Kryptonite implant into it.
Lex Luthor is really fucking good at origami.
Superman took Wraith to check out the Fortress of Solitude only to have Wraith threaten to kill him. That's the last slumber party he's ever going to be invited to.
I think Sam Lane was doing some important shit too. Trying to stop Ascension and kill Superman and impress his daughter.
Also, some five year old got a hold of one of my micron pens and scribbled all over the faces of all the male charac...oh wait. Sorry. That's just Jim Lee's style. Never mind.
Antarctica? What the fuck?! Hey, you assholes at DC! Let's not go through this shit again! The Arctic and Antarctica are two separate places and Superman's Fortress has never been in Antarctica! Or does his Fortress switch places with NOWHERE's Headquarters in some kind of unstable, quantum state with the two structures irrevocably bound together?
Batman tries to contact Superman to go over the game plan to stop the nuclear missiles but he wastes a number of minutes trying to get through to him in the Arctic. So now the world is probably fucked! Superman realizes this and decides to go speak with Ascension instead of stopping any missiles. Since he can't stop them all, he just won't bother. Hopefully Ascension has a button that will make the missiles not explode somehow.
Batman, Green Lantern (Simon Baz, I guess?), and Wonder Woman will try to stop as many missiles as they can. Batman doesn't mention The Flash although I think he could be helpful too! Unless the missiles are all programmed to explode a mile or so over their targets. That's probably the case. Fuck you, The Flash. You should be able to help because you're so Goddamned fast but since you can't fly, you're completely useless. Like that other guy that doesn't get a mention: Aquaman.
So what will be on Wraith's head? An America that didn't get hit by any missiles? Seems fair. Although he's probably eating his spleen about the fact he's going to have to keep missiles from hitting Canada and Mexico as well.
Lois has all the information to stop Ascension but the leader hits the self-destruct and blows the entire island to ashes. Superman rescues Lois and Lois rescues just one piece of Earthstone Crystal. I guess that piece is going to have to be enough to stop the missiles. Since it's similar to Krypton's system of Sundildos, Superman can probably insert it in his Crystal Matrix back at the Fortress of Solitude.
Meanwhile Aquaman is struggling to finish the New York Times Monday Crossword Puzzle.
Or maybe he doesn't need the Fortress after all. Good thing since Antarctica is so far away.
Wraith wants Superman's Earthstone for the American Military but Superman is all, "I've got scribbles on my face, you bitch!" And Lois is all, "I've only got like one scribble on my face because I'm hot!" And Wraith is all, "Ewwwww!"
Or they say other shit but I'm too distracted by all the scribbles.
This was all my friend Phil Newby's father ever had in the fridge.
Afterward, Superman brings Lois to the Fortress of Solitude because that seems like a much better idea than bringing Wraith, an alien that wants to kill him, into his home. Lois will just memorize all of his secret shit and write a huge exposé on him and his secret home! He does it to keep her safe but I bet he winds up regretting it! Hopefully he didn't leave his Clark glasses lying around where she might see them.
Superman doesn't once mention the warheads that have fallen all over the planet. Maybe that's The Flash's job! Collect them and deliver them to the guy that must dispose of them: Aquaman!
While Superman studies the Earthstone, he notices its programming begins to be rewritten. I guess the crystalline matrix is like software. A close up examination shows that it's being rewritten in Krypton! What could it mean?! I have no idea because before Superman can speculate, Sam Lane and his army of AT-ATs stage an attack on the Fortress of Solitude! Find out in three months what happens next!
There is a two page epilogue, by the way. Here's the second page: