Batman: The Dark Knight #28

Oh. So we're really not done with Man-Bat stories yet?

Man-bat must really speak to writers. Do they see the name and think, "Whoa! That's like Batman in reverse! I bet I can write a story that compares Man-Bat's twisted sense of right and wrong with Batman's sense of right and wrong which will cause the reader to question how the two character's methods are really any different! Is Batman really a caring guy or is he, like Man-Bat, simply a monster of the night? Or this could wind up being a love story. I hope, at the very least, Batman acknowledges how stupid the character of Man-Bat is. I bet Alfred will make some kind of cutting remark that sounds like he's making fun of Man-Bat but he's secretly criticizing his boss! That will be so funny that I am laughing about it already.

Once again, Gotham's streets are littered with dead people drained of blood with bat teeth marks all over them. The first person Batman questions is Dr. Kirk Langstrom because that idiot created this formula that is causing dozens of people to lose their fight against sudden non-existence.

As usual, Batman causes hundreds of dollars in damage to an innocent person's home and doesn't give a fuck. You don't stay rich by squandering the money you inherited! You have to invest it in window repair services and then go around the city breaking every window you can.

If I were Lois Lane, I'd head to Gotham to uncover the secret identity of The Batman. And the way to do it would be to follow the money! Batman breaks dozens of windows every night. Who is repairing those windows? Who is making money off of all of this vandalism? She'll discover the parent company of the window repair company with all of the contracts is Wayne Enterprises. And just like that, she'll have her answer! If she needs any proof, all she has to notice is that Bruce Wayne used to have a son that disappeared right about the time Robin died. Also he once had a ward that disappeared right around the time another Robin died. Also he had two other wards and Batman had at least one other sidekick since his sidekicks went "Robin, Red Robin, Robin." She could probably also seduce him and then search Wayne Manor once he passes out from the way she rocks his world.

The last two issues had no words but Gregg Hurwitz is making up for it on page three due to Kirk Langstrom's father's Narration Boxes. There's no room for art! It's just "blah blah blah capitalism at all cost blah blah blah." He believes he's bought up all the Man-Bat serum in the world so he can control and sell it. But does he realize that the League of Assassins has a Man-Bat army at their disposal?

It turns out Langstrom's father is using the serum for himself because he's a corporate bigwig psychopath. He figures he can get away with whatever he wants. So why not fly around Gotham murdering people at night? Who's going to stop him?

I don't call myself Master Comic Book Reader of the West Wind for kicks! Although I'm not a Grandmaster Comic Book Reader of Flowers because while I nailed the reasons for another stupid Man-Bat comic book, I really didn't expect Alfred to take the enemy seriously. The most unnerving? Bah! Alfred, you puss.

The Bat-Computer once again does all the work for Batman and they realize that Kirk's father is the new Man-Bat. Maybe Bruce can defeat him without Batman's help by just crushing his pharmaceutical company!

Guess what? Bruce learns from Lucius that Patriarch Biopharmaceuticals is the exact opposite of Wayne Enterprises! And Abraham Langstrom was the exact opposite of Thomas Wayne! And Man-Bat is the exact opposite of exciting! Hopefully Bruce realizes he now needs to bankrupt Langstrom. This is not a job for Batman at all! That opposite fight has been seen one too many times during this Reboot. I'm ready for a court battle between two huge corporations that winds up bankrupting them both as both CEOs play a game of chicken with the other's bank account.

Every time there is a shot of Gotham's skyscrapers, I check the window lights for a message. Finally somebody comes through! Thanks, Van Sciver (or Hi-Fi) for the names and the Batman symbol.

It turns out Langstrom's dad hates his son because he's a weak nerdy nerd that loves playing Pokemon in the mall with thirteen year olds. But he loved Bruce Wayne because that kid was scoring with chicks at six years old. And being that everything about Batman and Man-Bat has to be opposite day, that means Thomas Wayne hated his son Bruce and loved Kirk Langstrom! Hopefully Bruce doesn't make that connection and cry his stupid eyes out.

Actually I hope he does so I can laugh at him and call him a baby.

Later, Alfred mentions that Langstrom and Bruce are a lot alike but that Langstrom lacks a moral compass. I'm going to level up my Master Comic Book Reader status for that although you're going to have to trust me on this one. In my opening paragraph, I had a long bit about how Man-Bat and Batman were different but opposite. So Man-Bat would have twisted ethics and morals which would shine light on Batman's moral compass. But then I thought it sounded stupid and deleted it. I guess it wasn't stupid because Alfred, yet again, pretty much states everything I deleted! Now I'm kicking myself! I never delete stuff I type! I always just comment on how I thought about deleting it! What a dumb dumb!

Batman gets his anti-Man-Bat Antidote loaded and heads out to take out Daddy-Man-Bat. But when he finally gets a chance to dose him, the needle breaks. And Batman falls from a great height. Again. How many New 52 comic books have ended with somebody falling from a great height?! As if Batman isn't going to Bat-grapple himself to safety. Or the Batplane isn't going to catch him. Or he isn't going to pull Boots of Levitation out of his Utility Belt.

Batman: The Dark Knight #28 Rating: No change. It starred Daddy-Man-Bat! That is not in any way better than Man-Bat. They are both horrible. Although I leveled up my Master Comic Book Reader Class a couple of times! I don't know what my rank is. I'll have to check later. Master Comic Book Reader of the East or South Wind. One of those!