What's so funky about this family? Also pretend I came up with a really funny spork joke.
Harley is headed back to work this issue which means she has to cover herself in Reverse Clown Make-up. That might just be normal make-up. Although if that's true, I just implied that women that wear make-up do so because they look like clowns when they crawl out of bed in the morning. Although if all clowns looked like Harley Quinn, we'd probably have more instances of coulrophilia than coulrophobia. And Stephen King's It would have been pornographic. Although I suppose it could already be considered child pornography since a bunch of twelve year old kids have a gang bang in the sewers.
Sorry, I didn't mean to spoil part of the ending to It for anybody that hasn't read it. But don't let the knowledge that the book has a gang bang featuring elementary school children turn you off from reading it if you haven't. It is a weird and uncomfortable scene and I always felt it was an awkward bit even though I understood why it was there. After having defeated It, the children become hopelessly lost in the sewers. The only way out, the only escape from the horror of Pennywise, is to leave childhood and childish innocence behind. They must escape into the world of adults; a world that doesn't have room for the true horror of a creature like Pennywise the Clown. And apparently the only way to metaphorically make that transition when you're lost in the sewers is to have Beverly fuck everyone. Although I don't know why the guys couldn't have fucked each other as well. Why place the entire burden on Beverly's young vagina? I guess if King felt he had to keep it hetero, a few guys could have fucked her in the ass.
Speaking of fucked in the ass. That's apparently how Harley likes it! DC should sell these bullseye-on-the-ass panties.
Harley seems to take her patient's problems on as her own. When an elderly lady mentions how her child doesn't visit enough (as all elderly ladies are wont to do no matter how many times their children visit), Harley decides to go have some words with the family. Those words will probably be "smash" and "punch" and "kick" and "gratuitous violence."
At the family home, we get more masturbation jokes.
Why the fuck have Connor and Palmiotti decided to invade my wheelhouse?!
Harley decides the best course of action is to kidnap the entire family and bring them in to visit mother. If it wasn't such a cliche plot point, I'd guess she kidnapped the wrong Rubenstein family. As I kind of pointed out a little bit before, Harley didn't really do a whole lot of research on the old woman's story or the old woman herself. But that's like Bugs Bunny time story telling! This is the Modern Era! This is the era of big twists in big budget movies that are ruined because the trailer always mentions that you won't believe the twist which means you can practically figure out the twist before you even spend any money on a ticket.
Before Harley gets the family back to the Retirement Center, she takes a moment to reenact a scene from an old science fiction movie.
Earlier, Harley mentions fries prove the existence of God. Fries do not prove the existence of God. They prove the existence of the Culinary Sciences! If you can call dropping potatoes into boiling oil "culinary."
Oh. Um. Actually, Harley doesn't take the family to the retirement home to visit Ida Rubenstein at all. She takes them to the pier where she has them bound and gagged and then knocks them into the water one at a time.
The family wind up being okay, so Harley heads back to work to have her final meeting with Mr. Sporky McTargeteye. Mr. Sporky McTargeteye's real name is Sy Borgman better known as Syborg! So that's almost as good as Sporky McTargeteye, I guess. Anyway, he's old and tired and needs help catching some international spies that have been on the run for like fifty years or something. So he asks Harley Quinn to serve her country by helping him take out the targets he's going to give her!
I guess Harley didn't learn that lesson she was teaching herself. Oh well. Crazy is as crazy does!