Saturday, March 3, 2012

Resurrection Man #1

What's this guy do? Get his ass beat and die? And when the villain turns his back, he pops back up, taps the villain on the shoulder and says, "Is that all you got?!" and then knocks the villain out with a sucker punch? I hope so!

Here's a clue! Resurrection Man must come back to life with different powers every time. Possibly. Probably! Is he anything like the Injustice League's Multi-Man who gains a new power every time he comes back? Or does Resurrection Man only get one power each time. Maybe sometimes he doesn't get any powers! But then he can just kill himself so that he'll come back with a better power. I think the pain of coming back to life that the comic refers to earlier is supposed to be some kind of deterrent against doing that.

Not only does Resurrection Man awaken with new powers. He also awakens with compulsions to do things. So does he get a new body every time as well? This time, he's compelled to fly to Portland. Maybe he's coming to visit me!

"Hey, Resurrection Man! Meet me at the Fluff Me station at Build-a-Bear Workshop."

I'm not sure Resurrection Man will be meeting up with me. Some woman on the plane suddenly transforms into some winged, metal beast thing and begins tearing the place apart. She also lets Resurrection Man know that his soul is overdue.

Mitch (that's his name!) drags the creature out of the plane to fight on top of it. His magnetic electric powers allow him to cling to the outside of the plane the way Spiderman might. Except Spiderman uses his spider powers and not his magnetic powers. Mitch electrocutes the creature and then falls off the plane and into its engine. He dies. The plane crashes. Everyone dies!

And then he comes back with the power of crying! He cries himself away from the scene of the crash and the scene changes.

I wouldn't continue reading this if Resurrection Man were being pursued by decently dressed women.

So this lady and her friend begin killing everyone in the morgue trying to figure out where Resurrection Man went. How should any of them know? If they knew a corpse had gotten up and left, I'm pretty sure they'd be freaking out a little bit. They'll probably figure out whose cards Mitch stole and then go to that guys house and kill his family and somehow find out that he purchased a ticket to Portland using the guys card. So they'll be right on his tail by next issue.

The scene shifts back to the plane crash where a fireman named Suriel who's actually an angel is talking with God or Michael on the phone. Or Jesus! But you know, Jesus is never actually in DC Comics! Not that I can remember. I think they just use angels. So he or she is after Resurrection Man's soul because it's been back so many times, it's nice to look at. Or something. And the angel thinks whoever is currently running Hell wants him as well and will be sending demons after him.

And finally, we get to see Madame Xanadu just watching it all like her big voyeur pervert self.

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