Legion Lost #4

But found by who? Charles Widmore?

This issue is from Dawnstar's point of view. She's currently in Earth orbit trying to track down Doctor Scanlon and other Hypersapiens. Hypersapien just sounds like another name for Toddler, like Ankle Biter and Mommy's Little Accident.

Tellus, the telepath, has also sensed another threat to Legion in his search for Hypersapiens. An organization that is keeping an eye on weirdos and cosmic threats and is probably behind the guns on the cover of this issue.

You can tell they're high tech by the free-floating computer screens. I hate that sci-fi trope. We'll have flying cars before those stupid useless things!

Thinking about future technology and how it changes storytelling had me thinking about the iPad. More so than smart phones (even though they essentially can do the same things), the iPad (and its like. I use iPad in the same way we use the term 'Kleenex' and 'Dumpster) will take the place of the Information Techie Character (like Wade Load from Kim Possible. I had to look up his last name. Man, that's insulting!) that is always sitting alone in some room doling out information to teams via their earpieces as he looks up data and monitors security cameras. Now that guy can be part of the on-site team monitoring his iPad! It's not as critical a change in storytelling as cell phones made but it's an interesting development. Can you imagine trying to do X-Files before cell phones? Try watching the television series Wiseguy now and laugh how he has to constantly find a fucking payphone to call Lifeguard. Although having a cell phone while deep undercover is probably a liability, so he'd probably have to do that anyway.

But floating intangible computer monitors are all just stupid big budget movie eye candy crap. I don't want to be able to see through the thing I'm looking at being distracted by interns walking past my Youtube video I'm trying to watch! If people are trying to develop that technology, just stop. Stop right now and get back to the flying car so we can have lots and lots and lots of mid-air pile-ups!

What I'm learning from Dawnstar's narration is that she's boring. Worst date ever. She'd have trouble deciding on an item from the menu because she'd want it to be the perfect thing in the context of the environment and circumstances. But she'd also worry about what others might think of her choice. And then she'd second guess herself the whole time she's eating it because she has to be perfect but doesn't have the confidence to act. And forget anything happening after the meal!

Dawnstar claims she has the same confidence as the other members of the team but I don't see it. If she did, she wouldn't beat herself up when a decision she made didn't turn out exactly how she'd expected. And that's the problem. She expects the best. The others hope for the best. When they don't get it, they try again or learn. Dawnstar acts as if she won't even try if she can't be assured of getting it right.

But you know, if they're setting up this attitude in the Narration Boxes early in this issue, I bet she does something unexpected and crazy and risky by the end!

See?! Even Wildfire is foreshadowing her coming irrationality! I think that's Wildfire speaking. He's so tiny!

Timber Wolf and Wildfire and the other guy eventually track down the Hypersapien that is part Chameleon Girl. But when they find her, she's sleeping with a dart in her back. Not a pub dart but a tranquilizer dart! She's been taken down by the...

Haven't I seen these guys before? What comic book was that? Oh yeah! Dungeon Module S2--White Plume Mountain!

The Black Razors? Really. I'm reading too many comic books because I'm pretty sure these guys made an appearance in another comic. Was it Grifter or Voodoo? Checking with the internet, it tells me it was Voodoo! It's these kinds of things I'm supposed to be remembering from month to month! I'm glad to see some of it is sticking. But the blog is to fill the gaps in my memory so that when it's time to read Voodoo #5, I'll reread the past blogs for a quick refresher before reading the next issue. Much better than relying on my stupid brain! Although I have to wade through all the lies I made up and all the photoshopped images I created to figure out what actually happened. Stupid whimsicle entries.

Dawnstar and Telepathic Space Fish finally track down Alastor. And Dawnstar actually acts instead of thinking about it for three hours.

Which results in...



Whoops! That's Alastor. And Alastor. And Alastor.

I'm a big bored by this comic. I just don't care about the characters at all! Apparently Dawnstar and Wildfire have some sort of romantic thing going on but it hasn't been shown in any way at all. It's just been mentioned off-hand how he can't touch her because he's pure energy. And the big telepathic fish thing just speaks staccato sentences. And Timber Wolf runs amok and does whatever he wants. And I don't even know the name of the other guy who flies via sound waves! But at least this comic book only has five or six characters I don't care about. Now I'm about to go read Legion of Super-Heroes which has an infinite amount of Lads, Boys, Kids, and Girls I couldn't give a fuck about!