Friday, March 30, 2012

New Guardians #5

Sure, Kyle. That rock that is also being sucked into the Vortex will save you.
The six colored Lanterns converge on the Vortex. The Red Lantern, Bleez, took off last issue when the Blue Lantern tried to heal her insanity. Too bad for her that her sanity was restored to her in the Red Lanterns title anyway. And wait until Arkillo finds out that the majority of his Yellow Lanterns have been destroyed! Ha ha! By Sinestro, even. Also, the Orange Lantern with the silly name, Larfleeze?, is not with the group. Instead, his little tubby potato Orange Lantern is covering for him.

I can't remember his name either but I think he's more of a potato than a pus-bag.
The Lanterns split up and Kyle ends up with the Orange Potato, Glomulus. But before any action takes place, the story goes back in time to show Bleez getting dunked in the Blood Ocean to restore her sanity.

She goes a little bit deeper than this in Red Lanterns.

Inside the spheres, the Lanterns find planets. Arkillo and Saint Walker's sphere contain a planet the natives call Tamaran. And they look like Tamaranians with horns and ridgy protuberances. Fatality and Munk's planet is called Okaara by the ape natives. Okaara is the planet where Larfleeze currently resides. Kyle and Glomulus land on a planet that is covered entirely by a great city.

The residents of the planet Kyle comes to run from him and Glomulus while screaming about the beast. Kyle and Glomulus find a temple where the priest shows them a statue of the great beast.

It's Larfleeze!
Larfleeze is the beast that is the enemy of all the worlds in the Orrery. And his great enemy is the protector of the Orrery and lives within the sun at the center of the system. His name is Invictus and he's angry at Kyle for bringing the Orange Potato into the sacred temple. So Invictus is rising from the flames of the sun to come destroy the Lanterns.

Pretty good searching, Kyle, seeing as how this entire place was the size of the solar system! What luck to stumble upon the place where answers were to be found! I guess I should be thankful they didn't drag out the search for five issues with lots of random fighting and no movement in the plot.
As for Invictus, why would he have a Latin name? I'm sure the name is being translated by the ring from whatever language the alien priest is speaking (although there are no foreign language brackets around the text, so maybe he just knows English), so why wouldn't it just translate his name into English instead of Latin? Like Kyle is going to know what invictus means! He didn't even know what an orrery was! And he doesn't have the internet to nearly sort of translate stuff for him!

This is Invictus. Just another cliché bad ass.

Not much more was explained this issue, so the Lanterns are really still just as confused as when they started. Larfleeze has something to do with this Orrery thing and not in a good way. It looks like this Invictus is some enemy of his and he's hoping that the Lanterns will destroy Invictus for him. And why are there familiar planets in this thing's shells? I guess I have to keep staying tuned to find out.
New Guardians doesn't move up or down in the rankings because it needs to explain more and it invented a stupid space villain named Invictus. It should be named something with letters that have no human pronunciation.

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