Friday, March 2, 2012

Frankenstein, Agent of SHADE #2

The old woman who threatens Frankenstein at the end of last issue turns out to be a batshit child supplier to demons or monsters. Perhaps the town must give up a certain number of children a year in accordance with an ancient prosperity pact. I guess the woman can just be another religious tainted psychopath who kills children because of her belief in some schizophrenic reality. Which is to say no reality at all. Maybe I should have phrased that differently. Frankenstein and the old crazy religious woman have a huge battle for the children.

Okay, the fight actually just lasts the one panel.

I wish more boss fights in video games ended like this. Too often, you end up fighting a boss that takes forever to kill. Why can't you just bust into the final room in the lower levels of the fortress's dungeon to find some old guy on a ventilator whose plans for world domination have gotten out of hand and he's been left behind. So he's lying there, struggling to breathe, tears streaming down his face not because his dream of conquest is about to be crushed by you but because his dream died years ago and he was forgotten. Or, you know, you find a crazy old woman with a cross and bitchslap her across the church in one button push.

We discover the Werewolf is the joker of the unit!

The Creature Commandos discover the monsters are coming out of a temporal rift in the lake that leads to a pocket dimension underneath our own comprised of dark matter. I think if you create an answer with three or four unbelievable things, it makes it easier to digest. While the Werewolf, Vampire, and Mummy remain on shore killing monsters, Frank and Nina from the Black Lagoon dive down into the lake. While they do this, we get Nina's backstory.

Nina lost her little girl and then her husband left, so she became married to her work at SHADE. She and SHADE then began producing babies.

Scientist Hangs About Developing Embryos?

The creatures she produced through her experimentation were failures. They were failures in the same way I was describing how Superboy failed. How he hasn't been given enough time and experience to deal with emotions.

Oh! So as we get Nina's backstory, it looks like we also get the explanation for these monsters! They're probably her babies breaking free from their tiny little monster ant farm.

Or not! That's a lot of skulls!

Okay, so maybe those monsters Nina created aren't to blame. Unless time travel comes into play. Which it still might! I won't give up my theory based on thousands upon thousands of children's skulls!

Frankenstein and Nina encounter a bunch of huge underwater sea monsters. Frank asks Nina about her combat training and she says, "I do yoga?" But she seemed to be fighting fairly decently in the first issue with her chain, so I think she's being facetious and Frank just wasn't being very perceptive earlier. Especially since she's now in the water which is her turf. If water can be described as turf, that is.

Surf-and-Turf Has A Definite Egalitarianism?

Besides killing a bunch of them, Nina and Frank steal one of their brains.

Let me guess. Stealing One's Memories By Implausible Extraction?

S.O.M.B.I.E. is an acronym for Seer Of Mental Brain Image Energy. Of course! I kept trying to use the B for Brain when coming up with my acronym but couldn't make it work. I probably would have gone for Scan instead of Seer. But maybe they want to keep it more mystical to retain the whole monster and creature commando theme they've got going. Although I think my acronym had the same idea.

Implausibly, the SOMBIE thing extracts the memories stolen from the sea monster.

I just adore this picture.

The demons began coming out of the portal after hundreds of years of planning an invasion of Earth because their world began dying. Lady Frankenstein discovered the portal, tried to close it, and was pulled through. So it looks like the Creature Commandos are already going off-world to fight a cosmic threat! And it's also a monster threat!

SHADE Halts Aliens During Evacuation?

They take their Egg Shuttle through the wormhole and discover a planet composed mostly of monsters.

They just needed a little elbow room. It's just the monster's Manifest Destiny!

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