Friday, March 9, 2012

Voodoo #3

Green Lantern is going to make a complete fool of himself.

Voodoo hitchhikes her way back to her alien commander. She's picked up by a truck driver whom she kills because he makes a pass at her. Maybe if he just flirted with her a little bit he'd be okay. But he reaches out and touches her knee without permission! Isn't there a Yo Gabba Gabba song about that kind of bad etiquette?

This is her boss and her bosses pets.

Her boss's name is Skinny. Yes, that means he's fat. The boss alien is acting just like a big fat ignorant redneck. Is he just trying to play the part? But why act like an ignorant asshole in the confines of your own headquarters? I think this alien really is just a big dumb prick.

The meeting with her boss teaches us a few things. Voodoo has a particle generator embedded under her skin which creates the clothing she wears every time she transforms. She needs just a few seconds of contact with a subject to change into that subject. Which means the stripper Voodoo must be her natural human form. Yes, she has a natural human form because she and her boss and the boss's girls are all lizard-human hybrids. It's painful for them to change while it normally wouldn't be for a pure alien lizard being.

And then Green Lantern shows up spouting stupid lines.

He's saying, "Little engine that could." Why is he saying that? Why even break in so noisily?

But then Green Lantern apologizes about the wall! Because, um, I guess he couldn't help himself? You try being sneaky with all that Green Power Ring power itching to be used. Green Lantern showed up because he (or The Guardians) detected deep space transmissions from this backwater auto shop. And Kyle was sent to investigate. I guess he thinks 'investigate' means 'vandalize the property'. The fat guy Skinny doesn't take too kindly to the interruption and he falls victim to the flipping the fuck out that so many characters have been doing lately.

This is how humans utilize intergalactic weapons of power.

That's a pretty good guess if he's using ANY FUCKING GUN EVER!

While Green Lantern is fighting Skinny and his girls, Voodoo gets away. Her and Green Lantern have a mini-moment where he decides to trust her even though she's basically claiming she's an alien by yelling how humans are jerks. And she's surprised by the way the first super hero she observes listens to her and acts somewhat kindly. Oh, did I mention that's her mission? She's supposed to be observing Earth's heroes and gathering intel for an alien invasion of her people.

Green Lantern chases Skinny into space after Skinny and his girls blast off in their flying saucer. They get away through a warp hole, leaving Green Lantern confused. Or more confused, probably. While everyone else is in space, Voodoo takes off in a nice little 1958? Corvette. That's about the only car I'd ever recognize. My uncle had one that I remember riding in quite a bit in early elementary. And then it ended up just sitting in his driveway under a tarp gathering rust for the next 20 years.

I looked it up online and this looks like a '57. The '58 looks nearly identical but has double headlights instead of just the singles. So I can't even recognize this car!

Meanwhile, back at the diner Voodoo stopped at in the beginning of the comic, some Daemonites are slaughtering everyone while looking for Voodoo! Oh no!

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