Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Green Lantern #5

"Two against a thousand"? What happened to all the Green Lanterns Sinestro created last issue?

Just like Hal Jordan when he received his ring from Sinestro, the Korugarians think they can kill Sinestro with the rings he just created for them. I think Sinestro needs to take a long look inside himself and figure out why everyone he arms tries to kill him immediately. Maybe he should start small and learn how to smile. Okay, sure, he knows how to smile but only when he's about to kill somebody! How about he learn to smile less creepily. Anyway, just like Hal Jordan, the Korugarians rings don't work against Sinestro. Obviously. Is everyone in the Universe just as dumb as Hal Jordan?

No you don't! You want your own Green Lantern ring!

Sinestro and Hal Jordan still remain locked inside the Ring Draining Cells. Hal Jordan has the willpower to remain locked up forever but he doesn't have the imagination needed to escape. But that's okay because Sinestro always has a Plan B!

No, not that Plan B.

No, not the Portland Bar.

Oh, there it is!

Sinestro's plan is to have his Lantern kill a bunch of Yellow Lanterns and then rescue him from prison. It seems that Sinestro and his Lantern Buddy could have made the assault on Korugar all by themselves! But I think Sinestro still needed a passable Green Lantern to walk inside the Yellow Lantern Power Battery to corrupt it in some way. Even though Hal Jordan wasn't disintegrated even though he was at the end of Issue #3, Hal entering the Battery has disrupted communication between the Yellow Lanterns.

The Lantern breaks them out of prison and while the Green Lantern Korugarians distract the Yellow Lanterns, Sinestro and Hal fly back into the battery to try the plan again. But this time, Sinestro actually tells Hal Jordan what they need to do instead of telling him to just sit inside of it.

Oh, bullshit.

Just keep making excuses for your retconned cliffhanger, Johns. I'm sure you'll come up with something later to explain it and then tell everyone that was what you meant all along. Just like the island in Lost wasn't purgatory. Even though it obviously was. The Others were trying to gather people with enough 'good' about them so that they could transfer their goodness to themselves and move on from Purgatory Island. So I imagine now the Disintegration Process was a necessary process that a person needs to undergo before being transferred to the Anti-Matter Universe. Right?

Wrong. Because the Battery said, "Green Lantern detected." If the Battery actually thought it was Sinestro, it would have said, "Sinestro detected." Just like it does later when it says that thing about Hal not being Sinestro and stops the process. But go ahead. Write whatever you want. The Green Lantern Fanbois will eat it up and be able to point out how the story wasn't flawed at all! The reader just didn't have enough information. Also, no flaws in Blackest Night or Brightest Day. Nope. Pure magic!

The plan works this time and all of the Yellow Lanterns have their energy sucked out by the Battery and are left in comas. Sinestro shuts off the Battery and Korugar is saved. But the Korugarians have not forgotten and banish Sinestro from the planet forever.

Sinestro still has some trouble with English.

So Sinestro packs his bags full of comatose Yellow Lanterns and heads back to Oa. He also drops the other shoe on his deal with Hal Jordan. He's letting Hal keep the ring but not giving him a Lantern with which to charge it! Oh, Hal. Have you never dealt with a genie before? Hmm, I'm guessing he probably hasn't. Seriously! Who has? Except every person in every third story in The Book of a Thousand Nights and a Night. I hope in the next issue, Hal Jordan finds a Monkey's Paw!

So Hal is forced back to Earth on the last of his ring's charge. And once he crashes on Earth, we really see how much of an addict he is.

This gives credence to my belief that Sinestro got a blow job from Hal before the mission started.

After this declaration that all Hal wants is a Green Lantern Ring with Batteries, he heads off to meet with Carol and declare that all he wants is her. He's determined to make it work this time! You know what this sounds like? An addict who needs something and Carol has it. Does Carol have access to a Green Lantern Battery somewhere? My guess is she does.

And then back on Oa...

Oh look! They're power hungry and dangerous again!

Once again, some group in a comic book has manipulated people and things to such a precise degree that everything turned out as they had planned. Or so they think! Hal Jordan is out of the Guardians way (except he has a ring). Sinestro has crushed his Yellow Corps so that they will not be in the Guardian's way (except the leader and some stray others are still extant. And Sinestro, even though a Green Lantern, mistrusts the Guardians too). Also there are the other Green Lanterns and the other color Lanterns. But, whatever! Apparently the Guardians only felt they needed to worry about Hal Jordan and the Yellow Lantern Corps before enacting their next plan: The Third Guardians of the Universe Corps! And they're going to use the First Green Lantern to do it! I think I'll have one of those, "Oh yeah, that guy," moments when they finally reveal him.

Minus the prison escape and easy defeat of the entire Yellow Lanterns Corps, this issue was much better than the previous four. I like the story elements developed. I like how Hal and Sinestro were handled, character-wise. And I hope the ensuing New Green Lantern Corps story will be fun! I know. I'll be wrong about that. Johns will treat it like another super serious end of the Universe plight. But until then, Green Lantern can begin dragging itself from the bottom of the rankings. Good luck getting out of the bottom ten, Hal!

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