Saturday, March 17, 2012

Blackhawks #2

Issue #2 and we already have a traitor in the midst!

Issue #2 doesn't start with Kunoichi blowing up. Just like a lot of comics, the cliffhanger at the end of the first issue is ignored at the beginning of the second issue. It's like that episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer that ends with Giles about to be beheaded by one of those blind Bringer guys. And then you have to wait half the season before they show you what happened. And then it's barely worth showing because he just reached up and stopped the axe in mid-swing with one hand! So now Kunoichi's probably just showering somewhere on base! It'll probably be revealed she's going through early menopause.

Instead of finding out what happened to Kunoichi, we learn that Lady Blackhawk, Irishman, Wildman, and Kunoichi are parachuting into another country. It's not clear yet what their mission is. Or maybe I'm just too stupid to follow the dialogue.

Deputy Ops Colonel Lincoln is in a meeting with UN Representative Schmidt. Schmidt is there because of the leak about the Blackhawks.

How about removing the fucking Blackhawks emblem from the side of the Evac helicopter?!

Because Kunoichi dove out of a speeding plane outside the target area, the Blackhawks had to pick her up in range of civilians. And so Kunoichi's face and the Blackhawks' helicopter end up on video all over the internet.

Meanwhile, in that country the Blackhawks parachuted into that hasn't been announced via caption....

Whoever designed the Blackhawks armor played a lot of Halo.

Oh! I just remembered! It hasn't even been a month between reading issues and I've already forgotten stuff. The Blackhawks have been dropped on the site of the central Asian prison where a prisoner filled with the same Nanocites that now fill Kunoichi exploded! He was given the Nanocites by a mysterious Ghost in the Shellish woman. She's probably the Cobra to the Blackhawks' GI Joe.

Before the Blackhawks have a chance to do anything, a giant spaceship comes out of nowhere (a portal? Space?) and drops the person you see on the cover onto the ground. This Titus (who seems more like The Enemy Without!) immediately sets about bisecting a bunch of Blackhawk red shirts.

You definitely don't want to be a Blackhawk without a nickname!

Although, as Irishman learns, having a nickname doesn't guarantee your complete safety!

Lady Blackhawk and Kunoichi, with a little help from her new Nanocite super powers, take Titus down. Titus claims they've (whoever they are) already won because Kunoichi have the Nanocites in her. So Titus did some pretty good damage to the Blackhawks. It killed at least six of them and removed one of Irishman's arms. I wonder if Aquaman's hook is still available? Maybe Static Shock is already using it. But even though Titus whooped the Blackhawks pretty decently, I'm not sure the cover should go to someone who only lasts about four pages between introduction and death. Or the cover should be different! "INTRODUCING THE DEATH OF TITUS!"

Oh, now I get the title. Here's Titus apprehended and inside Blackhawks' Headquarters.

Okay, so I was wrong. Titus didn't die when he was shot in the chest multiple times and then had his helmet caved in by Lady Blackhawk's foot. It was merely a flesh wound. But now he's being interrogated by Colonel Lincoln since the jet that Canada and Wildman were in disappeared into the mother ship during the fight. Also, Titus only killed four Blackhawks. He just severely wounded the rest. Oh! And Titus nearly had brain trauma from the foot crushing the helmet thing! And he almost did die! So there you have it! It's all been explained!

Kunoichi is placed in quarantine. Attila is still out with his busted arm and ribs.

I think he's faking now since it was his left arm that was broken!

Irishman had one arm severed. And Canada and Wildman have been kidnapped by the Nebuchadnezzar.

That leaves Lady Blackhawk and Colonel Lincoln left for whatever needs to be dealt with in Issue #3!

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