The Fourth Dimension looks awful.
It's probably been well over a year since I set this book down, and many years since I first started it. It's been about two decades since I received it as a gift from my girlfriend at the time! It's inscribed by her "Of my soul" and dated August 13th, 1995. I guess I wasn't as "of her soul" as I seemed to be twenty years ago.
I'm currently on page 678 which is only the 86th night! Holy fuck! Scheherazade had better start shortening up her fucking tales or this book is going to go on forever! The current story being told is "King Omar bin al-Nu'uman and his Sons Sharrkan and Zau al-Makan" and it's been going on for fucking ever. Or seemingly forever! Scheherazade actually began telling the story on the 45th night. I'll tell you this though: I don't know how she's survived telling this story for forty nights because it's really not that exciting. Sure, there have been some stories within the stories that featured magic fish and djinn and garden sex parties. But in-between the good stuff, it's been fucking Bored-to-Tearsville. That's why I set it down for so long! If I were the prince, Scheherazade would have died on the 87th morning. Unless the main reason the king is keeping her around is because of the sex.
It's difficult to get through this book because I have to keep taking masturbation breaks. It's hard not to with lusty, provocative passages like this:
One of the damsels pleased him: so he went unto her and knew her that night, and she conceived by him forthright.
Whew! I apologize for such graphic imagery but this is a nearly historical document so censoring the language would be bordering on criminal. Anyway, this should be about Superman and not about a bunch of ancient Muslim sex romps, so let's see how the Kryptonian is getting on in the next dimension.
I bet from the other side of this contraption, you can only see Superman's bare ass.
It's funny, isn't it? How super heroes will readily trust somebody that turns out to be a villain yet they never trust the actual heroes and wind up beating the shit out of each other only to realize they're both on the same side. I think superheroes should begin doubting their instincts and just doing the opposite of whatever they think they should do.
Klerik comes by to punch Ulysses in the jaw because Ulysses is a horrible son.
Oh my God! Did I say son?! Yes, you did say son, me! What a surprise twist revelation! Klerik and Ulysses were working together to fool the people of Earth into believing the lie of a beautiful world! Now they're all choosing to become sex slaves! And Superman can merely watch from his Anus Presenting Machine!
And then the ship travels to the Fourth Dimension for the big surprise reveal that everybody guessed! Even I guessed it when I wasn't pretending the humans were going to be sex slaves and/or pets!
The Great World uses the same kind of fuel as Willy Wonka's chocolate factory!
If you hadn't noticed by now, I was not on the high school debate team.
Oh, so it's okay to kill six million people you don't know but not two that you do know?
I have a solution to the Great World's problem! Can Mob Rule create six million duplicates?!
Ulysses frees Superman and they begin the rescue operation. Ulysses teleports all of the Earthlings back to Earth. Later, they'll figure out how to get the Great Worlders to agree to being refugees on Earth until another planet can be found for them. But in the middle of the rescue operation, Klerik attempts to murder his adopted son! And then the ship crashes into the planet's surface and sets off a chain reaction that will end the Great World! Superman grabs Ulysses and they fly off world before the explosion can consume them as well.
Oh well. You can stop trying to contact Mob Rule. It looks like the problem was solved. Not an ideal solution but at least Earth won't have to prepare beds for millions of alien house guests.
So now millions of people died but Superman can rest easy knowing that he saved the millions of faceless nobodies that mattered! Aliens schmaliens! Who cares?
Oh yeah. I guess Ulysses cares.