Batman Annual #3

Titling this Batman/Joker story arc "Endgame" seems a bit premature for a universe that's barely three years old. And in which we've only read one real Joker/Batman story. Possibly two. Maybe.

This issue begins with a flashback to five years ago when The Joker and Harley were still dating. They're planning a big circus in Gotham with lots and lots of laughing people in animal costumes that probably aren't dying from poison gas. No, no, don't worry about them. Convulsing on the floor and giggling is just part of the act! And because nobody in their right mind wants to go to a circus, the circus will come to the people and drive them straight out of their right mind!

Having just returned to Gotham after five years out of country, Thomas Blackcrow (who really began this issue in a cell in Arkham Manor but I didn't want to talk about him because he's just this guy, you know?), has decided to interview The Joker! It's going to be the biggest scoop of a lifetime! Just wait until Lois Lane hears about this one! She'll fucking piss her panties!

Following a tip, Thomas Blackcrow sneaks into The Joker's lair where he spies on him for a bit as he tries to come up with an angle for his story.

I have a good angle! Find out why anybody would be crazy enough to work for this maniac! How does he find enough muscle to pull off all his insane games? How does he pay for his elaborate traps?!

Oh wait. That story is solved on the very next page.

I guess it wasn't much of an angle.

My angle was better than the one Thomas Blackcrow comes up with! His angle is that The Joker is lonely and has no friends! Is that really much of an angle though? I mean, don't most men and women in positions of leadership forgo friendships because nobody can really be trusted? It doesn't seem like people are going to pick up their morning papers and feel sympathy when they read a maniac that terrorizes their city is fucking lonely.

But I get it. I know why he comes up with that angle. Because this story was called "Friends" and in it, we're going to learn why The Joker thinks of Batman as his friend. I should probably do a Friends update for this commentary! But I'm not going to because I'm way too busy to watch twenty minutes of a sitcom tonight.

And just in time to save Thomas Blackcrow, The Joker's BBF shows up!

That wasn't a typo! It's his Best Bat Friend! And the best Robin who has never let the world beat him down!

Batman and Robin haul in The Joker and Harley Quinn and Thomas Blackcrow publishes his piece called "The Loneliest Clown." Forget what I said about Lois Lane pissing her panties! Unless it's from laughter! This guy is a fucking hack! A clown! A joker!

So it's now one year after Tommy published his silly article and The Joker has escaped. And guess who he's come for?! His new bestest bud in all the world: Tommy Blackcrow!

I'm taking notes so I can try all of these things out on the next person I'd like to be my friend.

After this scare, The Joker is captured and put back in Arkham. But once again, peace for Tommy only lasts for six months.

The best part about this story so far is that it builds a nice history leading up to that Endgame story. So it's trying to help fix that problem I brought up in the caption for the cover scan. And all of these breakouts by The Joker aren't grand schemes that he's carrying out and making life difficult for Batman. It looks like The Batman catches him fairly easily each time. At least at first. I'm sure he's learning every time he battles The Bat.

That Joker is so sweet! Or did I mean creepy?

Once again, The Joker is caught only to escape one year later and visit Tommy again. This time Tommy is married and The Joker just comes by to meet his best friend's wife. They spend the evening looking at slides of The Joker's victims. But then it's time for The Joker to get back to work and Arkham, so he bids them adieu. For now.

Much later, Tommy's life falls apart as he constantly worries about The Joker's return. He checks up daily on The Joker's face to make sure it's still in the Gotham Police Department. Until one day he discovers The Joker has been working in the basement of his cabin, making faces for his next big joke to pull on Batman. And that's when Tommy finally loses it and gets thrown into Arkham. And that's where he meets Eric Border, his newest, bestest friend he's ever had ever!

Batman Annual #3 Rating: The Joker has made more friends than I have in the last ten years! Does that make me the loneliest clown now?