Robin Rises Alpha #1

So Damian has heat vision now?

Batman and Robin #37 ended with Batman returning Damian Wayne to life after a slight detour to Apokolips so that he could humiliate Darkseid again. This issue takes a step back in time to begin the end of that story from Alfred's point of view as he sits back in the Batcave hanging out with the Batpets that didn't manage to sneak off into the BOOM Tube.

I see Batcow got a nice tan from her time in California. Get it? She's leather! Tanning?! No?

Holy shit. The Batkids have been gone for sixty two hours? Which means Batman has been gone for even longer? That means it takes an awful long time before the Hellbat suit will destroy its wearer. Why doesn't Batman wear it more often?! He can take it out on short jaunts without a problem if he can survive over sixty hours in it on Apokolips! I bet it uses a ton of battery power though. And now that Batman has lost all of his wealth, he probably can't afford to wear it anymore. Unless he truly has to wear it! Like when the entire Justice League comes after him. That was the Hellbat suit he was wearing in Engame, wasn't it? It would certainly explain why none of the other Justice League members wanted to give Bruce access to it for his journey to Apokolips. Why give him the one thing that would ensure that he can beat every single one of them?

Dammit. As Alfred goes off to put on his 90s Comic Book Alfred Pennyworth Gear, he walks through a panel that demands to be my new header. But I just made the Supergirl header! I really need to figure out the code to enable random headers each time the page reloads.

About eight pages are used to repeat the action at the end of Batman and Robin #37 with some minor changes in perspective and a few new details, like how the BOOM Tube can't close until Cyborg's system reboots. It's a good thing Darkseid commanded Kalibak not to follow them or else Alfred would have had to shoot his ass.

Oh well. I guess Kalibak listens to Darkseid as well as Orion listens to Highfather.

As the Batfamily prepared to face whatever came through the BOOM Tube, Damian accidentally crushed a Batarang. I guess Damain can probably take Kalibak all by himself now, right? Maybe he even has Omega Beam Eyes! Which is probably a horrible turn of events for a kid that really can't control his anger very well.

After a short bout, it looks like Damian is going to have to deal with Kalibak all by himself.

Damian displays super speed, super strength, flight, invulnerability, and super precociousness. He very nearly takes down Kalibak on his own before being pinned under Batman's gigantic penny. It's a very heavy penny! Plus, Damian's probably a little bit dizzy and concussed from his battle with Kalibak. Even invulnerability has a tough time against the fists of an Apokoliptian.

But then the Batpets save the day and provide a distraction while everybody else gets their wits together.

I'm sure Alfred Pennyworth the Cat was the mastermind behind Titus's attack and the placement of the Batcow pie.

Batcow has now had more interactions with New Gods than most DC Characters. She's a rising star!

Cyborg finally reboots and Batman ghost flies a Batjet into Kalibak, sending him through the BOOM Tube just as it closes. Then everybody hugs and says, "I'm glad everything is back to normal now!" as Damian flies around the room making muscles.

Uh oh. Reunions are happening! Just a few more panels before Damian utters the question everybody's been waiting to hear: "Where's Dick?"

Meanwhile in Nanda Parbat, a naked woman kills a bunch of guys in the snow and declares she doesn't know who she is. It is a mystery! Nobody can guess who she is at all!

As things settle down and Batman begins to put Damian through a number of tests to figure out the limits of his powers, Dick's name never comes up. I'm sure it will be the source of much consternation for Batman in the next issue of Batman and Robin.

Robin Rises Alpha #1 Rating: I recently mentioned in some commentary or another that Batman should get a sidekick with superpowers. And now that he has one, it's going to be weird. With a kid as powerful as Superman with the same diverse set of superpowers, Batman is going to be superfluous! Robin can now rush in, take all the bullets, tie everybody up at super speed, and do his homework, all before Batman even crashes through the skylight. He can even kill one or two people and hide the bodies before Batman notices! I guess Batman's next quest is to find a cure for superpowers.