Batman and Robin #38

This is Preboot Wally West, right?

This morning while lying in bed, I was busy thinking profound thoughts about comic books and breakfast and I wondered, "Why aren't there more powerful red-headed women in Gotham City?" Shouldn't every female red-head be leveraging the fear and suspicion, engendered by her red hair, that she might be Batgirl or Batwoman? I'd constantly drop hints about needing a "bat-promotion" or maybe getting a "bat-deal" on my "bat-mortgage." Every time the Bat-signal would light up the sky and I was out with a group of people, or at a work function, I'd make a lame excuse to leave. "Oh, um, yeah, I got to go. I forgot my cat puked this morning and I need to go clean it up! Be back in a Bat-jiffy, guys!" Then I'd return with a bunch of bat shaped frosted sugar cookies and be all, "Oh, hey, anybody want to help me finish these off? A, um, friend left them for me at my place!"

I'd probably also use the possibility that I'm Batgirl or Batwoman to fuck as many hot men and/or women as possible!

Okay! Damian is back! And he doesn't have to worry about dying because that jerko Grant Morrison got it out of his system and DC probably won't let him pull that shit again. Unless Grant Morrison makes one of The New 52 Earths full of Robins just so he can kill one every single day. And how would Grant Morrison kill Damian now anyway? Damian has super powers! Which probably means he has a super weakness too! I bet we find out what that is by the end of this issue!

More like the Dynamic Duodenum, amirite?! Has The Joker ever used that one?

Robin seems to forget that he's just ten years old and he doesn't know as much as he thinks he knows, no matter how much time he spends on Tumblr. Tumblr should be renamed "Confirmation Biasblr!"

I just turned to the Title Page where Robin jumps in front of all of the bullets which bounce off of him but destroy his uniform which is probably going to really piss off Alfred and I realized something I'd known but haven't really acknowledged: this comic book has kept the same writer, penciller, and inker on it for nearly three and a half years now. It's so refreshing to have that kind of consistency on a title these days. Sure, Batman has been a Snyder/Capullo jelly for the same period but that's kind of expected from DC's flagship title. Does Batman and Robin get the same kind of love? Because it's been a terrifically consistent book of superb quality since The New 52 launch. I just love it and I'm excited to see how Bruce and Damian's relationship evolves now that all the Talia and Nobody stuff is long in the past. Now it's time for Damian to just have fun while Bruce eats himself up with worry over his newly super powered boy!

Maybe it's time to reconsider taking Venom, Bats. You know, just to keep up!

Should Damian be offended that the guns keep calling him a brat?

Seriously though. Why is this advert still in every fucking issue of The New 52?

Batman really begins to shit himself as Robin starts acting rebellious and petulant. After forgetting all of his training and deciding it's a smart idea to let the bullets hit him, he nearly kills the thug by bashing him into fifteen different cars (not that Batman's never done that!). Then he decides to fly home rather than driving home with his uncool dad. But Batman grabs him by the shoelaces to keep him from flying off. I knew when I looked at the first page that Damian's super loose shoelaces were going to get him into trouble!

Later that night, Damian is haunted by nightmares of his mother and grandfather and baby brothers. It causes him to sleep walk which is trouble when you can fly and have super strength.

Is Alfred reading Bruce's Bat-Diary?

Robin flies off and while Batman's first reaction is to chase him down and rein him in, Alfred continues to play the compassionate father full of sagely advice. I suppose after raising The Batman, he knows a thing or two about what a difficult child needs.

I can't wait until Helena Wayne can extricate herself out of all that Earth-2 crap going on and returns to Earth-Main-Earth to hang out with her Not-Brother some more.

Damian flies back to the lab where he was born and trashes it. Then he decides to pay Aquaman a visit because I guess he was having too much excitement?

Oh shit. And by "my custody," what he really means is "Alfred's custody." Poor Pennyworth!

The Batcave is going to get awfully crowded! I suppose this story is taking place after the events of Batman Eternal whenever Arkham Asylum gets rebuilt. Is Batman going to have to build a dormitory down in the caves?

Damian leaves his brothers on an island and then flies home. I hope he just gave them The Outlaws' island home! Fuck that Jason Todd!

Batman and Robin #38 Rating: No change. It still surprises me every month that a comic book called "Batman and Robin" is one of my favorites. Teenage me would have scoffed and said, "Seriously, dude?" And then he would have put his headphones back on and hit play on the Walkman strapped to his hip and disappear back into the sweet, melodic sounds of Slayer's "Angel of Death."