The Flash #37

Ha ha! The Flash is slower than the Mach 52!

The murders at the offices of Charlie Hebdo hit Tumblr right in the awkward spot. "People were murdered and that's wrong because violence is bad. But they were people saying things that I think they shouldn't be saying, so while I'm against the murder I'm also against the victims. But victim blaming is wrong even if I think the victims were Islamophobic which shouldn't be a thing ever and should probably be outlawed somehow. I mean, censorship is horrendous but hate speech is even more horrendous and we all know hate speech when we read it (I think?) so it should be censored! But the people still shouldn't have been murdered no matter how vile their publication was. Although somebody should have shut them up because look what happened because of them! Except victim blaming is wrong so is there some way I can view the gun wielding killers as the victims because this whole situation is hurting my head?"

Censorship, whether a person does it through violence, law, or ruining a person's career via a Twitter mob, is about controlling other people's voices because you can't stand to hear what's being said. Somehow, in the minds of the censors, that means that other people shouldn't be allowed to hear those things either. Inflicting their limits and boundaries on other people is not making the world a better nor a safer place. It's just making them look like stodgy assholes.

Although perhaps it's a little bit more insidious than that which is where the ambiguity of feelings on this specific incident occur. When you silence voices, you get extremist behavior from those who feel they have no voice. What is left but violence? This especially goes for laws limiting freedom of religion and other things which oppress a group's identity because the government fears their autonomy. Social groups can easily (and often do) form a kind of "cultural law" as well, so oppression isn't limited to governments. We've seen (and still see!) that time and time again in America alone with our abominable history with race relations. It is this censorship of ideas which governments, and their citizens, fear that usually ends in violence. Remember that whenever you yourself choose the side of censorship. Free speech is the safety valve that reduces the pressure of the system.

In the Charlie Hebdo case, people are equating one periodical's freedom of speech with oppression. This is a dangerous way of looking at the situation and skirts the line, if not in fact going straight over the line, of justification for the murders. Offending is not oppressing. Although they do share that whole double letters thing so I might have to rethink my position on this.

One booth I manage to purchase something from at every single comic related con I attend is the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. I think when I saw Neil Gaiman do a talk at the Palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco, it was for the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. Being against censorship (in all of its myriad forms) is kind of a thing with me. I have no idea why that is!

Hey, did you know The Flash runs super fast!? Crazy, right? Let's see what kind of funny, hilarious, get-our-mind-off-of-real-world-issues adventures he's up to this month!

This is crazy! Dinosaurs and people and gorillas living together?!

Everybody in the Speed Force fell through a rip in time at some point in their lives. Now they all live in one eternally long moment! Just like Arif's kingdom of Now in Justice League Dark! Except the citizens of the Speed Force aren't pretending something stupid like one eternally long moment is happening. They're just in a place where time doesn't matter. Everything acts like time matters since they walk from point A to point B, and people talk which is a good clue that time is happening since talking occurs across time! But people here don't get pregnant. Or at least one hasn't been able to get pregnant. I bet if a woman came over to the Speed Force with an egg released all up in her abdomen (or whatever the technical term for the lady parts might be (the abdowomen?)), it could be fertilized! But since nobody ages, the fertilized egg will probably remain dormant until the woman leaves the Speed Force.

Why the fuck am I so concerned with the way time acts in the Speed Force?! I don't care about that level of detail in comic books anymore! I'm just reading them to forget! I bet if I were drinking I could forget even faster!

Never mind what I'm trying to forget! I'm forgetting it so you should too!

Somebody or thing is spotted about to attack Crazytown with Dinosaurs, so the place readies for defense. But then the scene shifts to Central City, so we won't get the exciting conclusion to the battle until I'm bored to death of Wally West being a marginally bad kid.

But first Iris follows up on the lead given to her by Future-Flash! And that lead leads her to refrigerated shipping containers full of dead bodies from when the Crime Syndicate attacked! Also the gorillas. Lots and lots of gorillas attacked. So some of the bodies are probably partially eaten.

It's a great story because it doesn't really change anything but it incites rage and disgust in the citizens of Central City! And that sells papers, by golly! Instead of rebuilding the infrastructure and getting the city safe and maintaining law and order and doing whatever people do to keep civilization from crumbling, the mayor should have been identifying the bodies of all the people killed during Forever Evil!

I mean, seriously. What, he couldn't get a few temps on the job? I'm not sure it deserves the kind of outrage it's engendered but seriously. Like three or four people hauled in from the temp agency couldn't go through the victim's pockets or match photos of people still missing?

Anyway, now Iris West is practically the Lois Lane of Central City! No, no. She's probably more the Vicki Vale of Central City.

Back at the precinct, Future-Barry takes on all the "cold" cases (ha ha!) to make Director Singh's life easier. No wait. He actually takes on the cases so he can spend time with Iris West without Patty having a reason to be angry about it because it's work related. Plus he can avoid spending time on the current murder case that's fallen into his lap. It's one he doesn't want to solve because he killed the kid. So while it would be easy to solve, it would mean he wouldn't get to spend much time with Iris.

That made Patty cry?! She'd run out of tears if she were dating me! Um, because I'm very adamant about my opinions on when justice has been served.

Back in the Speed Force, Crazytown with Dinosaurs is attacked by people riding cybernetic animals (some of them dinosaurs!). Why are they attacking? Which side is the correct side to be on? Barry can't simply fight with the people that found him first, can he? He's too nice a guy for that! He's going to have to stop somebody and get some answers before protecting this crazy place.

It turns out the invaders are paleo-indians. So that's why they're so savage! Totally makes sense that isn't historically inaccurate whitewashed history! Barry doesn't really give a shit one way or the other though. He just wants to get home and ignore whatever turf skirmishes make life hell for these people. And to do that, he needs to find the place where the lightning comes from! Hairy Potter points up to the peak of a mountain. "There," he says, "lies the Chamber of Buttstuff."

Meanwhile in Central City, some Luddite in a top hat that gives carriage rides around Central City kills a guy for talking on his cellphone. His horse, Alistair, doesn't give a shit.

The Flash #37 Rating: No change. I don't really care what happens to Barry Allen in the Speed Force with all the dinosaurs. I think if he were killed, I wouldn't mind. Mostly because that world is a Brett Booth wonderland of boring. But Future-Flash is going to get things done! He'll probably kill a few more bad guys and have sex with lots and lots of chicks and corrupt Wally West (but in a way that he doesn't think is corruption at all!). I just have one question: why does Brett Booth love giving people super duper extra long legs?