Saturday, January 31, 2015

Batman Eternal #43

Fighting crime is only Batman's second reason for patrolling at night. Voyeurism is the first.

Hush was a boring ass boring villain who was boring but he made sense as the main antagonist in this story because he knew Batman's secret identity. A lot of the shit going down is targeting Batman in such a way that the main antagonist must know a lot of Batman's secrets. Therefore the bad guy must be Owlman from the Crime Syndicate. Or Superwoman's baby. Oh man, how great would that reveal be!

This issue begins with Batman and Bluebird on patrol together. Did she pick that name simply so Batman has to think of happiness every time he calls her by name? Did she choose the name to make fun of Batman's depression? "I'm happy go lucky and cute and you're a big sourpuss grumpface!"

Bluebird's second assignment is to keep Stephanie Brown safe. Her first assignment, judging by the eyeball comment, was to read Batman's Big Book of Things You Can Do To Villains That Aren't Technically Killing Them.

Since last issue ended with Catwoman capturing Stephanie and this issue begins with Stephanie in Batman's clutches (in a good way. Not that good of a way, sicko!), Batman #28 must have happened between Batman Eternal #42 and Batman Eternal #43. It mostly makes sense if you go back and read it now. Plus Batman leaves a clue in his dialogue when he says there are 43 people on the floor of Selina's casino! See? He's telling you when to read Batman #28! Unless it was Bluebird who counted the people. I just reread it and I can't remember!

Spoiler has been left with Cullen in "one of the safest buildings in Gotham." Is it the 900 block that was full of Man-Bats some time back? Is it safe because it was built upon an ancient Micmac burial ground? Perhaps it's the most rundown part of Gotham and owned by Bruce Wayne who is keeping it rundown so that none of the crime families want anything to do with it but Batman still cleans out all of the street crime to keep it one of the safest and cheapest places to live in the city?!

Inside the safe house, Cullen and Stephanie pause in the middle of playing Double Dragon to discuss the different flavors of tea like black or the other ones.

Stephanie and Harper don't exactly get along because Harper wanted to be a sidekick so she buys into everything Batman is about but Stephanie was forced into being a costumed person just to stay alive and has also probably seen all of the injuries Batman has given her father over the years so she's a little bit anti-bat. Plus she just spent some time with Selina Kyle who probably dumped all of her Batman problems on her. Now I wish I was tied up in Catwoman's lair listening to her tell me all of her big fuckfight stories with the Batman!

The story is providing some flashback material to fill in the details surrounding the rescue of Spoiler in Batman #28.

Red Robin tells Harper the plan to find Catwoman's casino and to infiltrate it. All the right plot points are touched upon to explain why things happened the way they happened in Batman #28. Harper has to be the one to enter the casino since Catwoman has a scanner that will identify all known associates of Batman. So that explains why Batman went on this mission with Harper whom he chastises in the middle of the battle for having been training with his sidekicks. At least this version of the story gives us some scenes between Catwoman and Spoiler this time. I guess those...hee hee hee...scenes couldn't be shown before because they...giggle giggle...would have been...snicker snicker snicker...spoilers.

God I hate myself.

Selina is correct. As I've pointed out over and over and over and over again, everybody in DC Comics is motivated by Daddy Issues.

And then Batman #28 happens. I highly recommend pulling it out and giving it a jerk reread. It's not like it's needed since this story hits all the beats that need to be hit but I think it makes Batman and Harper's team-up more enjoyable. This whole scene is just lots of fun. I can't wait to see Harper and Damian working together!

Harper's take on the Spoiler rescue.

As we saw at the beginning of the issue, Spoiler goes with Batman. She doesn't plan on telling Batman all of her secrets for some reason but I'm sure she'll cave in time. Probably when she and Harper stop baring their fangs at each other and begin licking each other instead. That was a cat metaphor and not a sex thing, perverts!

Oh, and the licking happens fast once the cats are comfy on the couch.

Earth-3 Owlman! And his sidekick, Superwoman's baby!

Harper Row makes a good sidekick. I hope she continues to work with Batman and Robin as Bluebird. And I hope that she remains "in training" for a long time instead of just suddenly making her just as good at fighting and acrobatics as all of the other sidekicks. Every mission Batman goes on doesn't have to be the most dangerous mission ever. There are a lot of low level Gotham villains that would be perfect for Harper's skill level. Like all of the ones I can't think of right now other than The Mad Hatter who she already beat up. Except he's a fairly dangerous psychotic that may have already killed more residents of Gotham than even The Joker at this point! Harper was lucky she didn't get killed on her very first night wearing her Bluebird suit.

Batman Eternal #43 Rating: +1 Ranking. This issue made a nice companion piece to Batman #28, filling in just the right amount of gaps, repeating scenes with just enough of a different perspective or dialogue to keep it fun and interesting, and it revealed all of the things that couldn't be revealed a year ago. And I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed the manga/anime inspired art and the artist's tips of the hat to the genre. Everybody was just so cute it was disgusting.

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