Green Lantern Corps #38

In which The Flash stumbles upon Hal and John's sex games.

So I was thinking about what kind of man Charlie Brown would become when he grew up when I realized exactly what person he would become. So I made some comic strips about it!

That nutty kid!

I was also thinking that Twitter should change its name to "Wanna Know Who's Racist?"

Is everybody ready to see what John Stewart does when he isn't caught up in a cosmic crisis? I know I am! Although he's only got like what? Three issues left? I hope he just gets drunk for three issues and cries over Fatality.

The Bohemian Guardians offer to let Stewart lead the Corps but he declines because that's a sucker's job. Let Hal Jordan keep it after he returns from his Earth vacation. Stewart would rather hang out with the new recruits and get one or two of them killed.

Mogo is visited by some of Feska's people. Never mind how they found her or how their tiny ship traversed the vast distances of space! They're here and they've got a plot ready to go!

At first I thought Arisia was talking about John's skin tone.

So they all head off to Zarox where Feska will probably discover her son is the leader of the Shadow Market that is destroying her home planet! Well, maybe he won't be the leader. He was only like seven or something. But I'm sure he'll still disappoint her somehow.

Or maybe he'll just get kidnapped and used as leverage against the Green Lanterns. That will really force John Stewart to make a difficult choice between one person's life or another person's life!

Some weirdo named Ocula is running things and she doesn't plan on giving up easily. I wouldn't either. From what I've seen over the last three years, the Green Lanterns have the weakest weapons in the universe. They probably long for the days when all they had to worry about was a weakness to yellow.

The Lanterns catch Ocula easily enough but then instead of staying above the crowd of Zaroxans, they land amongst them and are attacked. Everybody seemed fine but then Ocula said, "Niagara Falls," and they all went apeshit bananas! So then Stewart lost Ocula as the Lanterns retreated to regroup and figure out how to save the Zaroxans from the mind control.

Meanwhile, Daggle and Hunger Dog forget who is whom.

Earlier in the comic, the speech bubbles for the Zaroxans and Feska were all screwed up as well. Somebody was drunk when they were putting this comic book together.

Daggle is still searching for his long lost partner and he thinks he finally found the moon she's hiding on. Do I really care about Daggle and his partner? That's Preboot stuff! Probably.

Back on Zaroxa, The Green Lanterns join up with Feska's boy, Zep, and Feska's mother, Grandmother. They warn them that monsters have arrived on Zaroxa! And Feska is all, "Pshaw! There are no such things as monsters!" And then she shoves Jruk behind John so she isn't instantly proven to be a liar.

Green Lantern Corps #38 Rating: No change. Boy, things sure are boring when a cosmic crisis isn't happening! This issue would have been better if the Corps went on shore leave to Wrigley's Pleasure Planet!