Justice League 3000 #13

Let me guess. Wacky doodle silliness ensues?

This year, I'm going to do an art show featuring comic book covers re-imagined in crayon. Although they might be too good for this town. I've seen the kind of art that gets hung in Portland coffee shops and cafes. Most of the local establishments must have pretty big holes in their walls, or large, disgusting stains they desperately need covered up. Why else would they make their customers look at those wretched paintings? Does anybody else get the feeling that people who appreciate art aren't always being entirely honest with their own feelings? Like somehow they're actually just trying to impress the other people in the room rather than being true to their own likes and dislikes?

I've had a decent (sometimes a bit better than decent!) web presence for fifteen years now and I've never really attempted to make money on it. It may be because the projects I work on find only niche audiences. Or perhaps it's because Mrs. McFarland was right and I really don't feel good about myself. I did try to set up advertising on my Blogger half of Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea but Google deemed my site too offensive. Because who wants to advertise to adults, amirite?! Fuck you, Google. Fuck you in the asshole and the cunt and the cock and the other adult body parts! I don't need advertising mucking up my site! Unless it's advertising for my own line of products! Would it be illegal to ship a face cream composed primarily of Peach Jam and semen?

I am now officially dubbing 2015 "The Year That I Make Enough Money Per Month, Via The Internet, To At Least Fucking Pay For The Comic Books I Buy (Unless I Continue To Let Laziness and Apathy Win Out Over Survival and Ambition)!"

And here is my first attempt to make some money: The Art of Tacoman and Them Others!

Currently in Justice League 3000, Booster Gold is being eaten by futuristic mutated rats while Blue Beetle battles a heavier version of himself. It's possible they're inside some kind of future therapy machine and simply working through some of their emotional issues.

So it was kind of like psychotherapy.

Meanwhile on Camelot Nine, Lois Lane stalks the Justice League 3000 just like she stalked everybody and everything in her previous life as a Scoop Finder. She's going to discover all of their secrets and bring them down in an embarrassing public relations nightmare! But first she'll have to invent blogging on Camelot Nine so she can get The Fast Lane back up and running. Maybe they have some kind of magical ethernet thing to replace the technological one. She'll just whisper her stories into a unicorn's ear and everybody will hear them.

To help with the war against Etrigan 3000, Wonder Woman 3000 sends Flash 3000 into a frozen castle to see if Ice 3000 will join their team. Unless Ice 3000 turns out to be The Snow Queen and then sexy times will probably ensue! And I think it might be The Snow Queen version because Clark gets super jealous.

He needs to practice leaping buildings in a single bound.

Teri meets Ice 3000 and begins mentioning names she finds familiar. Then Ice 3000 meets Superman 3000 who isn't quite as peaceful as the Superman she remembers. So he has to become a popsicle. Then Wonder Woman 3000 barges in boasting and bragging because she obviously forgot how to hug during the resurrection process.

So if it wasn't clear after the discovery of Booster and Beetle, this is definitely a Preboot Future. That's probably why the others are having so much trouble with their memories because they aren't allowed to remember Preboot history. Yet.

Etrigan is busy spying on the reunion and puts together some fairly decent poetry.

I knew Beatrice was going to go to hell, the slattern!

Justice League 3000 #13 Rating: No change. This book is just chugging along at about the same level of entertainment each month. If you currently like it, you'll still probably like it. If you can't stand it, you still won't be able to stand it. If you love Howard Porter's art, you'll still love Howard Porter's art. If you hated the Justice League International, you'll still hate the Justice League International. If you got the drift of my first sentence, you'll get the drift of this last sentence.