Sinestro #2

Shouldn't Sinestro's emblem be the "O" in his name? This just looks like Sinestroo.

I guess none of the other Green Lantern books were taking themselves too seriously, so this comic book had to hit the shelves.

Forget about Sinestro for a moment. I'm thoroughly bored with Sinestro. Ten year old me would have stood aghast at that statement. But then ten year old me lived for seeing what constructs Sinestro was going to create while battling Green Lantern. Ten year old me would never have screamed at the television, "Just make a stupid yellow gun with yellow bullets, you dumb douchebag!" He would only think that internally so his grandmother wouldn't wash his mouth out with Summer's Eve.

I was just looking at my web server statistics and decided this would be a good place to talk about them because advertisers love to read about Sinestro! So here's where I'll point out how my site gets over 6000 unique visitors every day. The daily amount of data transferred via my site hits two gigs per day. I'm glad I've got a hosting service that gives me unlimited data transference! Otherwise Pickle Boy would be getting a huge bill on his credit card! He'd probably just assume it was due to his porn habit. Anyway, the bad part about all of that data transferred is that nearly a third of those visiting are simply people finding my site via Google using ridiculous search terms. So yesterday, somebody came to my site after searching for "i forgot to get married and have kids". How the fuck is Google supposed to help you with that? How the fuck am I supposed to help you with that?! I purposefully remembered not to get married and not to have kids!

Other fabulous search terms used to find Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea (which, I know, talking about weird search terms just leads to more people finding the site via those weird search terms. But come on! They're too entertaining not to list them!): "nightwing torture time", "fish farm justice", "did lots daughters conceive", "lucifer demonic foot", "scarecrow penis" (totally understandable), "child sacrifices abortions", "red gay asshole", and "sexualizing childhood". Those are just a few of the stranger ones. I left out all of the searches that were basically "X fucking Y".

This issue begins with Sinestro blah blah blahing about his own greatness all over the place in Narration Box after Narration Box. It might as well be page after page of him masturbating into his own face and then gobbling up his ejaculate as if it were the most succulent sauce created in a royal kitchen by the most decadent of chefs.

Was this supposed to be the reason for all the Corps? To enforce justice through fear or anger or selfishness or willpower or hope or compassion or love? Hmm, willpower doesn't really fit in with those others, does it? I think Geoff Johns spectrum of emotion falls apart at the source.

So Sinestro easily takes back leadership of the Sinestro Corps and rescues his daughter from Arkillo and the other renegade Yellow Lanterns. I guess after Soranik has a nice talk with her father that will probably not end in hugs, she might be convinced to hang around while the Sinestro Corps begin hunting for the lost Korugarians and The Paling.

See? Cullen Bunn nicely ties all of his plot points together in one boring and predictable page.

Sinestro puts together a team of the Sinestro Corps members that least trust him so he can go out on a mission with them and teach them that he's their fucking leader. Just like most Lantern Teams, this one consists of a bunch of creatures that the artist was allowed to make up without any consideration as to how stupid and ill conceived they've made their body functionality. So one member is a head on a hand. Another member is a gigantic tumor with arms. Another member is a mass of six people merged after a teleportation accident. Or something. And another member is a flaming skeleton. I guess it doesn't really matter since Sinestro is probably taking them out to kill most of them and then threaten the rest into submission.

Sinestro has brought them out to Necropolis in Sector 3567. It's a prison planet that hasn't had any new prisoners in many years. So he's going to kill them all and turn the planet into the new Korugar. The planet has a small moon where the wardens lived which will become Sinestro Corps headquarters. That totally makes sense. The moon is probably a luxurious spa while the prison planet is covered in concrete buildings without any plant life anywhere. Fuck the Korugarians! They don't deserve a nice new homeworld since they let their old homeworld blow up. Irresponsible jerks.

Aaaaaand there it is.

Sinestro #2 Rating: No change. Yeah, yeah. Sinestro is a bad ass. I just wish he were funnier.