Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Wonder Woman #31

Last issue ended with Hades getting his head blown out by the First Born. I don't know if that's very serious or if he can just be relit later like a pilot light gone out. Whatever the case, the dead have taken this opportunity to leave Hades and take a bit of a holiday in London. They don't seem to be causing any trouble though. It's not like zombies returning to feast on the living. The souls returned from Hades just seem to be taking in the sites and enjoying themselves. It seems only Hermes and Dio can see them, so they're not even causing a panic.

Meanwhile on Paradise Island, Diana is trying to convince the Amazons that babies are a fun thing to have around! She's currently Queen of the Amazons while Hippolyta remains a statue, and Diana simply needs free daycare for Zeke. So like any great leader, she's lying her ass off to her people and pretending that babies are cute and adorable and necessary instead of disgusting, smelly, noisy, and completely dispensable.

She currently lives in London! According to a Londoner, those are totally pants!

Artemis feels like Wonder Woman isn't embracing her role as the God of War. Artemis is probably right. This new God of War prefers mercy and compassion over drinking whisky and walking around barefoot in blood.

Hermes and Dio take a road trip to hell to find out what happened to Hades. What they find out is like something from a Coen Brothers' movie. Cassandra is feeding Hades to his father Cronus over and over again. I suppose Cassandra is lucky that the food falls out of a hole in Cronus's stomach because it would be even worse if she had to wait for Hades to be fully digested.

Over on Paradise Island, Zeke is kidnapped. Or wanders away. Or turned back into Zeus and went off to watch the Amazons bathe. One of those. The moral of the previous sentences is that when everybody wants your baby, you should probably keep a pretty good eye on it.

At least Dessa isn't buying into the babies are beautiful bullshit!

Dessa so isn't buying into the New Raising A Boy on Paradise Island Agenda that she hurls herself off of the cliff. But first she gives Zeke to Diana because she's not a child killer.

Hephaestus also brought along all of his children, the sons of Paradise Island.

And then Dio arrives last to the party to point out that Hermes has also fallen. I guess if they need to teleport anywhere, they're going to have to get Orion and Wesley Willis back on the team.

Wonder Woman #31 Rating: No change. It looks like Wonder Woman is changing up the status quo on Paradise Island. I wonder what Hippolyta is going to think of all the testosterone in Themyscira when she recovers from being a statue. Maybe all the men will die in the upcoming war against Olympus and the new living arrangements on Paradise Island won't even need to be discussed.

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