Worlds' Finest #23

I truly do not understand the fascination with finding a way home.

I suppose home, for me, was my grandparents' house. My mom raised me and my sister on her own and I spent a lot of time with my grandparents. They were my favorite people in the whole world. My grandfather died about ten years ago. He spent about a week in the hospital before he died, so I was able to fly down and be with him a few more times before he went. His most pressing concern was what the weather was like in Portland. I held his hand and told him everything he wanted to know. Later, after he was gone, my cousin and I sat up all night drinking some kind of alcohol we'd found stashed behind his desk that housed his Ham radio (XXXXX was his handle (I just looked it up online and found his name and address under it, so I censored myself. It seems his license expired in 2010 though)), playing cribbage, telling stories, and crying our asses off.

Speaking of his HAM Radio, my grandfather had an antenna tower in his backyard that must have been fifty feet high which he installed himself. When I was in high school, he purchased a Commodore 64 because one of his ham radio friends had homebrew cartridges that could be hooked up to a telegraph key so he could practice his Morse Code. I spent many days during high school sitting next to him as he talked on his Ham radio and I played computer role playing games on the Commodore 64. He was always very excited to make contact with people in new places or to occasionally catch messages from the space shuttle.

I only knew one person more kind and caring than my grandfather, and that was my grandmother. The last few times I spoke with her on the phone, she had to keep asking me who I was. But she also kept assuring me that she loved me, whoever the fuck I was. I shouldn't swear while saying that! I don't know if I ever heard her say a curse word. My grandfather would occasionally let one slip when frustrated with some machine or another and we'd embarrass the hell out of him by pointing it out. My grandmother was constantly curious about the world although she never made it very far in school before having to go to work in the orchards and the canneries. Being first generation Spanish American, she was brought up Catholic but I don't think she believed much of anything that had to do with the religion and the church in her later years. She wasn't the type to apologize and make excuses simply because she had been raised a certain way. I remember her telling me once how she couldn't understand why the Catholics were always speaking so poorly of the Jews and that it really made her question the values of the church and its members. Her wedding photo with my grandfather was in formal wear because they were married in the courthouse. Eventually they got married in a church due to the pressures of the church and the times about having children that would be perceived, by some, out of wedlock since they hadn't had a church wedding. She had two children six years apart in a time when Spanish and Catholic families generally had large families. I never asked her but I have a feeling there were some non-church approved methods of family planning going on.

My grandmother tried to instill discipline in her grandchildren by threatening us with the big wooden decorative spoon that hung on the wall. Mostly she just hissed "mal niño" or "mal niña" at us. But she was too nice and couldn't stand to see her grandchildren unhappy or upset. Until the day she died, I could always make her feel bad by reminding her how she made me get up and walk to the back of the house to brush my teeth when I had shingles in second grade. I'm sure she thought I was being overly dramatic about how much it hurt but I assured her the pain was excruciating. And I assured her a lot through the years! I may have just liked teasing her but I think I also loved seeing how much she cared about me by how much that memory hurt her. Not that she'd weep over it when I mentioned it! She always laughed and got a kick out of it but you could hear in her voice how sorry she was that she had any part in causing me any kind of pain.

Anyway, they're all dead and stuff now, so let's talk about something that matters! Like Power Girl's outfit!

So cute! Although I don't know why Power Girl's outfit has made me tear up so much! So weird!

Karen Starr has decided that she doesn't have time for secret identities anymore! She has to find a way home even if it brings TMZ rushing to her lab's doorsteps. Starr Industries has one lab left because all of Power Girl's resources are now being directed at opening a portal home. She saw it done by Kaizen Gammora Jr, so she knows she can eventually do it as well. Especially if The Huntress finds a way to steal all of Kaizen Gammora Jr's files about Project I'd Better Do As Flip The Fuck Out Superman Commands.

Dude, when's the last time you saw a woman with eyes where her vagina should be? Eyes up top, perv!

Karen and her German boytoy test out the equipment and, coincidentally, Boston has a huge blackout. And to make matters worse, Darkseid's boytoy, Desaad, has decided he'd like to prank Boston while their power is out. What a huge joker! Also a massive dick sucker. He just loves massive dicks! Like Darkseid's!

That last paragraph may have seemed like I was immaturely using homosexuality as a way of belittling Desaad but I assure you it was not. It was just facts! Desaad is totally Darkseid's lifemate! Not in the way two loving people become a couple and live the rest of their lives together. But in the kind of way where Peppermint Patty is so charismatic and powerful that Marcy decides to give up everything in her life to wait hand and foot on Peppermint Patty and to, you know, give her adult pleasure when she's feeling tense. Or horny. Or hungry. Or world dominate-y. You know. Whatever. Mr. Burns and Smithers have that kind of relationship too! As did Dick Cheney and George W. Bush! Whoops! That time I was using homosexuality as an immature way to belittle someone. I sometimes find it's worth throwing my ethical values out the window just to see the look on some total asshole's face when I call them gay. Sorry! I'll try to work on that. Unless money is involved. Then fuck my ethics because I'm getting paid!

Meanwhile, The Huntress is breaking in to MIT to steal their Telnet server so she can log in to TinyEARTH2. During the blackout, she runs into three other people breaking into the university to steal their supply of radioactive material. So now she has to deal with that.

This is a thing that is happening as well. Karen's assistant Tanya gets possessed by Desaad. Make your own joke for that. I didn't even want to mention it but thought it might be important later.

As you can see in the panel above, The Huntress's pursuit of the bad guy with the radioactive lunch box brings her into Tanya's story. Even though she's the daughter of Catwoman and Batman, the Huntress winds up caught off guard when the car crashes. At least she lands on her feet thanks to her mom's cat skills which she has for some reason. I think it's because her face was once licked by a radioactive cat. That gave her cancer and she died but the lick also gave her new cat powers which enabled her to live again eight more times! Another one of her cat powers was to have a litter with kittens from different fathers. So The Huntress probably has a half-brother out there whose dad is Superman. Anyway, the evil doer takes Tanya hostage and tells The Huntress to jump off the bridge or Desaad gets it.

Worlds' Finest #23 Rating: No change. My favorite part of this comic book series is the interaction between best friends Power Girl and The Huntress. And that didn't happen this issue, so I can't like it as much as I usually like it. But I did like it because it was a good story decently told. Although Desaad could have been a little creepier. And Power Girl could have had sex with somebody for three or four pages. Very slowly. And then hard! And fast! And then slow again! So slow! And then quicker! Quicker! Quick...hmm, I've lost interest now for some reason.