Red Robin and Batman share a fun day out in the grey goo.
Batman Eternal: "This one time, Commissioner Gordon was fucking framed and I was all, 'Oh hells no!' But then the entire Gotham Police force was all, 'Batman gots ta be arrested!' And Harvey Bullock was all, 'Give me three foot-long meatball subs, yo!'"
Tess: "Yeah, yeah. I've heard those stories like a billion times. Just shut up and stick your tongue in my asshole."
Batman Eternal: "Hold on, hold on. We gettin' there. Then this tough guy Falcone shows up and everyone is all, 'Hell yeah! Year One is in the house!' And then when we found out Stephanie Brown's dad was Cluemaster? Not one pair of pants could remember what fresh air smelled like! Seriously!"
Tess: "Look, Batman Eternal. My pants are on the floor and I'm spread wide. Just, you know, how about a little pinky. Just lick a pinky and slide it on up in there."
Batman Eternal: "Did I ever tell you about the time a good cop came to Gotham and learned about how corrupt the city and Mayor Hady were? Or what about when Professor Pyg was all, 'Give me some children moth-er-fuck-eeerrrs!'"
Tess: "Oh fuck it. Where'd I put the plug?"
Just like Batgirl, Red Robin is doing some actual detective work while Batman is flipping the fuck out over Falcone coming back to Gotham and eying his pussycat.
The building where all the kids have gotten sick is where Harper and her brother, Cullen, live. And Harper's brother is currently suffering from flu-like symptoms! Is having an eyeball that looks like a computer chip a flu-like symptom? Because that's what Harper's brother has!
Meanwhile at the Gotham Gazette, Vicki Vale still thinks journalism is worth fighting for. I suppose she's correct if what she's fighting for is the right to bury the body respectfully. But it's way too late to save.
Everybody can probably spout dozens of different arguments on why socialism or communism doesn't work, but what's happened to journalism is a great example of why capitalism doesn't work either. When dollars are the bottom line for everything, nothing fucking matters but lining pockets. So who cares about truth or knowledge or information when all you care about are eyeballs.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is "Fuck the media."
The old guy, Joey Day, tries to teach Vicki Vale about real investigative journalism. You remember that kind, right? No? You're too fucking young? Oh shit. Go watch All The President's Men if you haven't seen it already. It's a good reminder of what journalism should be but very rarely has been and almost never is now. Just don't watch it while on LSD. It'll send you into some really fucked up recursions of reality.
Anyhow, Joey Day gives Vicki the scoop on Falcone being back in town. So now Vicki will be getting in Batman's way along with everybody else.
Notice Red Robin is back to having the Red Robin emblem on his shoulder instead of the stupid "T"s that I guess were for "Teen Titans" even though that's fucking stupid.
Since Red Robin is about to die, the scene shifts to Harper saving Vicki Vale's ass from some thugs in the Narrows after which she takes her back to her apartment where Red Robin crashes through the ceiling after the thugs kick in the door. I made that sentence extra long to be able to contain all of the confusion and excitement of the actual scene!
Why? The Titans were awful! Ohhhh. Wait. I get it.
And meanwhile in Tokyo...
It's the monkey from Batman #22 with the robot leg named Maxwell! Maybe now we'll find out the name of his other leg! Ha ha ha ha!