Arkham War #5

This is the last comic book I read that has "unleashed" on the cover! I really mean it this time! Come up with a new word, DC!

Okay, DC! I've done the difficult research for you by consulting Lord Google. Here are some other ways this cover could have gone!

"DISGUST DISCHARGED!"
"LOATHING LET LOOSE!"
"FRIGHT FREED!"
"REPUGNANCE RELEASED!"
"CONSTERNATION VENTED!"

Okay, maybe "unleashed" is the most viable which is why you overuse it. But I'm quite partial to "CONSTERNATION VENTED!"

In previous installments, Bane had disclosed hostilities on Gotham City which was currently overrun by deranged escapees from Arkham. That's probably why the comic book is called Arkham War. The regular citizens of Gotham are currently just trying to survive. Just like every other day in Gotham! Except most days nobody winds up in rowboats being sent out of the city by Jim Gordon and Agatha Greeksurnameopolis. Most days also don't involve Talons murdering the life out of everybody. Sure, some days have ended that way! But it's still fairly unusual. Not the kind of day you want to get caught outside without your full Kevlar body suit.

Bane loves going out in this weather.

Bane quickly finds himself in a full Talon downpour while William Cobb (the only Talon loyal to Bane) heads off on a super secret mission of secrecy. Bane is just the distraction because he can survive an assault of seven or so Talons. Or so he thinks! Batman survived being attacked by even more than that although he had help from Alfred. Alfred's help is probably worth four Talons alone. All Bane has is his ego and piles of dead soldiers to not fight beside him.

I'm not sure how you're supposed to defeat Bane but I am almost certain the secret is not anal beads.

As Bane keeps the Talons busy, Cobb returns from above, swinging down on a huge chopper blade to slice all the talons in twain. And since Talons don't die, Cobb is allowed a quiet moment to explain to them that they will soon regenerate right past the Scarecrow's mind control grip on them. I suppose they'll decide to follow Cobb back into battle. But I believe the Arkhamites still have one Talon in Henry Ballard! I don't really remember anything about that Talon but I'm pretty sure he wasn't present for Cobb's cutting party.

Back in Arkham, Scarecrow is thinking about contingency plans since controlling the Talons was never a sure part of the plan. His back-up plan was to get a sample of Bane's Venom to use against him. It seems that each and every Arkham escapee involved in the war is going to take a dose of the venom.

This is going to wind up a lot like the first horrible story arc of Batman: The Dark Knight.

Nobody here wants to use the Venom because that junk is crazy shitballs. So they refuse to drink. Too bad Crane wasn't using the wine as a delivery system. Instead, he piped the Venom into the room in gaseous form. So everybody is fucked. At least nobody took if voluntarily in this comic book! I still don't know what the fuck was up with all of the residents of Arkham tainted by Venom in Finch's initial story arc of Batman: The Dark Knight. That shit was so fucking awful. It may have been the worst end to any of The New 52's first issues when Venomized Two-Face appears and claims that he is now One-Face! What the fuck did that even fucking mean?! In a way, I kind of miss a lot of that amateur shit that was going down in the first year of The New 52! It's much harder to make fun of comics when I have to constantly lie and purposefully misunderstand the plot to find even a smidgen of humor for my commentaries.

At least the cover makes sense now! Even if it basically spoiled the final page.

Arkham War #5 Rating: No change. Another issue that felt like not much happened. Although I guess a lot did. Jim and Agatha are rescuing people. Bane defeated the Talons. The Scarecrow turned all of his allies into muscular brainless monsters. Hmm. That's it. So three things happened. And three things is not a lot. So I guess I was wrong when I guessed a lot happened. Never mind.

Arkham War #3

I initially read this cover as "Frog Hunt." And then I read it again and giggled because it says "Craw Cunt."

I believe titling your comic book "Croc Hunt" is far worse than drawing a penis in Lobo's arm muscles! Who will be fired for this outrageous use of sneaky-minded rules breaking?! Also, why is Bane wrestling a green Venom?

Last issue, the cover told me the Talon would rise. But not one Talon rose of its own volition. A bunch of them sort of dangled from the claws of Man-bats stealing their frozen bodies from Blackgate. So I suppose they "rose" up into the sky. Not exactly the excitement I was expecting by the cover. It's a good thing I understand comic book covers and the outrageous lies they tell every single month and wasn't at all disappointed. I was actually quite pleased because I'm sick to death of fucking Talons and hope they all get killed off in this comic book. I'm hoping that Arkham War was conceived mainly to end the problem of having all of these super dangerous immortal zombie assassins waiting to be unfrozen. Batman couldn't kill them. But the Arkham Crazy Time Players can!

Also, the besterest Interim Blackgate Warden ever to grace the pages of a DC Comic Book, Agatha Greeklastnameopolis, was rescued from the prison by James Gordon, hero! She's my favorite character after all the other characters I've listed as my favorite. I think she ranks somewhere between 2-6-8-1-7-9-5 and Alysia Yeoh.

CROC HUNT!

Whoa! Calm down, fucker! Think about what you're doing for a second!

Everyone understands that Bane is a problem, Mad Hatter. But he's just one problem. One problem that you can understand because you can see what his goals and his motivations are. Is it really a good idea to let loose seven Talons on Gotham in the hopes that you can somehow control them and get them to kill Bane? This feels like setting the house on fire just to take care of a squirrel in the attic. Maybe a better analogy is letting seven raving maniacal murderers free in your house to tidy up a bit.

I just don't see anything good happening from this plan.

Crane and Langstrom were captured by Bane at the end of last issue but they've been rescued by Killer Croc at the beginning of this issue. That was all part of the plan! And for his part in kidnapping the Talons, Johnny Crane rewards Croc with Wayne Tower. I don't know how Scarecrow negotiated that great piece of Gotham Realty when Penguin divvied everything up. He must know some pretty juicy secrets that The Penguin doesn't want to get out.

Meanwhile Bane makes good on his deal with The Penguin.

Emperor Blackgate? More like Emperor Bit Off More Than He Could Chew...umm...gate!

The Penguin lets Bane know that the Arkhamites don't fear him and that they're all saying, "He's no Batman." But then, those crazy assholes don't fear Batman either, do they? If they really did fear Batman, they wouldn't keep coming back to Gotham to commit their crime sprees, would they? Unless none of them really see the difference between fear and love? Because they all seem to have some kind of a warm spot in their crotch region for Bat-Abuse.

Whatever their feelings toward Batman, Bane decides it's time to use it to his advantage.

So when does DC release the Cosplaying Bane Action Figure?

Bane's first act as Batbane is to throw Killer Croc from the roof of Wayne Tower. That's a pretty fucked up first move. Poor Killer Croc. He was completely set up by The Scarecrow. Killer Croc was nice and safe and cozy underground until The Scarecrow lured him into Wayne Tower and convinced him he should set up shop above ground. That only left Croc exposed to Bane while the others took to Croc's sewers to set up shop with their Talons. With everybody using everybody else in this War, I'm beginning to suspect the Talons are going to win once they're revived. The Talons may not even need to be revived with all the back stabbing going on!

Arkham War #3 Rating: No change. I'm disappointed that Warden Agatha wasn't in this issue. I guess there are just so many characters that can be spotlighted in any one issue of this thing. Arkham War shouldn't have been released as a comic book. It should be a Board Game! Or Video Game for those of us that don't have any friends.

Scarecrow #1

Those must be self-hating Crows to be working with the Scarecrow.

I'm going to start with something that has nothing to do with anything because I've had this quote in an open notepad note for about a week now. And every time I want to open an old notepad file, I have to copy it before opening the file. Then I paste it back in to notepad after I'm done with the old file. Mostly because I don't need to save this quote for any reason but I did want to talk about it. So now I'm talking about it!

This is from the comment section from the CRPG Addict's blog after he wrote about why he likes crossword puzzles rather than sudoku:

When you get to Might & Magic's Xeen series, you will get your crossword puzzle in one of the dungeons. Of course, I forget if it is in Clouds or Darkside at the moment :) When you complete it, be ready for an "Interesting" reward.

It's comments like these that boggle my trying-to-live-a-spoiler-free-life mind. I know the commenter is just trying to connect and engage in dialogue. But the need to ruin even the surprise of a crossword puzzle being encountered in an RPG hurts my non-existent soul. It's a well-meaning comment but ruins so much of what makes discovery enjoyable. And to top it all off, he adds the "be ready" part of it. It's like going to see Empire Strikes Back and somebody saying, "Hey, you like twists? Be ready for a good one about Luke's father near the end!" Actually, it's really just like every movie trailer that says, "You won't believe the shocking twist ending!" Great. Now that you told me there was a twist, I'll have it figured out in the first ten fucking minutes. Assholes.

I know I'm being overly sensitive to this shit. But it's a truly ruinous comment in innocuous clothing, so I felt I needed to say something to somebody. You were the lucky somebody!

I don't know yet who's writing this issue but the "self-delusion is underrated" is a pretty fucking accurate statement. Ignorance is bliss for the person bathed in ignorance. Obviously if fucking sucks for everybody who has to put up with that asshole. But sentience is definitely a curse.

I recently mentioned how I don't go in for that whole "dissatisfaction with getting all you ever wanted" crap. I'm more of the Willy Wonka type and the living happily ever after once you've gotten everything you ever dreamed of. It's too fucking American to always want more and to think ambition has no ceiling. It's a travesty to teach people that they must continually grow or need more. Don't you know that happiness is being happy your needs satisfied? If you're dissatisfied with getting everything you've always wanted, you obviously have yet to get everything you've always wanted!

On the next page, I see Peter J. Tomasi is writing. That's a good thing because I really liked some of the shit coming out of the Scarecrow's mouth here and I didn't want to accidentally praise a writer I can't stand! That would have been embarrassing! I already feel like I failed my readership by liking Tom DeFalco's Shadow Thief story and actually giving a thumb's up to H'el's origin!

There sure are a lot of words in this comic book!

The panel above made me happy. Sometimes things just make me giddy and make me smile and make me love comic books. I love the idea of the lunatics of Arkham splitting up Gotham under the auspices of The Penguin. Sure, there's no way this peace can last. But I'm sure they'll all have fun trying to pretend for a day or two. And then Bane will think, "Why the fuck am I not kicking Cobblepot's ass?" And Poison Ivy will need another few acres to grow some gigantic Venus Flytraps on. And Mr. Freeze will accidentally flood Zsasz's killing fields as his ice melts in the noon day sun. Except there is no sun because the eclipse has eclipsed the entire world in the way comic book eclipses do. But the ice will melt anyway because Gotham City really isn't that fucking cold.

The Scarecrow is visiting all the districts to spread some gossip that will, hopefully, cause fear in the people that hear it. The news is about Blackgate Prison so I hope the news is that Emperor Blackgate is going to try to take over The Penguin's job. Again!

According to The Scarecrow, I must be insane.

I don't really think of dealing with the world as it is or as I think it should be. I just deal with my life as I want to live it and fuck all to what anybody else thinks.

Apparently "Would-Be World Conqueror" is still a regular occupation in The New 52.

The Scarecrow wanders about Gotham discussing the New World Order and how his peers fit into it with his new buddy Hudson, a guard from Arkham. As I said before, there are a lot of words. It's a very dense comic book as Scarecrow wanders about psychoanalyzing everything. And it's pretty fucking entertaining shit. Example time!

Hamlet: "Veggie or Meat-lovers? That is the question. Whether tis nobler to the stomach to suffer the pangs and bloating of Little Caeser's or link arms and forgive the shitty policies by patronizing Papa Johns?"

The Scarecrow visits The Riddler next who, like Mr. Freeze, declares that he's not crazy like all of the others. But unlike Mr. Freeze, he declares that he will remain neutral in any upcoming battles because he has everything he wants. But he does mention "bane" in a Riddler sort of way, so it's possible he already knows something is brewing and Bane is at the heart of it. Or I'm just acting paranoid trying to make sense of all of the crazy crap The Riddler says.

While The Scarecrow is looking for Poison Ivy, Hudson's cousin from Blackgate that he tried to kill attacks them.

And he's pumped up full of Venom! Looks like The Riddler was dropping a hint about Bane.

I forget what all the Forever Evil tie-ins are going to be but it seems like this is building up to some kind of Forever Evil Gotham War. I know there's an Arkham one and a Rogue's one. This must be the lead-in to the Arkham War or whatever it's called.

Killer Croc shows up long enough to put down the Venomized guard and then disappears back into his turf: the sewers. Although the Sewers now has to contend with Ann Nocenti's fantasy realm, Under-Gotham. I supposed I should get some of that in the Joker's Daughter issue later. And more Croc stuff in the Killer Croc issue. And Bane's plan over in the Bane issue. I think Gotham City has more escaped lunatics per capita than anywhere else in the world. Even Los Angeles!

The Scarecrow finishes his rounds and kills off Hudson because Hudson was just standing in as The Scarecrow's therapist. And The Scarecrow doesn't need him any more because he's talked through all of his problems and he's ready to take over Gotham. Just like, I'm sure, every other inmate is ready to do as well. Like I said: none of them are actually going to be happy with their tiny parcel of Gotham.

Scarcrow #1 Rating: This issue was really quite entertaining even if it was merely a prologue to Akrham War. I really hate writing this last paragraph where I sum up my thoughts on an issue because reviewing these things isn't really my intention here. So let me just end with one more piece of good advice from The Scarecrow instead of a coherent rating:

Just don't be a dick about it.

Mr. Freeze #1

"FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER!"

You know what DC Comics should do? They should just opt out of trying to sell to kids. Fuck kids! They don't know shit about what's good or interesting or smart. Just look at the shit I read when I was in junior high! Blue Devil? Really? Well, maybe it was well written. I should reread it to see if I had any taste. But I was also reading the Shannara books. Ugh. I can't believe I read so many of those. Although I was reading Elfquest and that's pretty good plus it had cute elves in it. I think I was reading Piers Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality books. I may have been reading The Hitchhiker's Guide and, possibly, Asimov's Foundation Trilogy. I began reading Stephen R. Donaldson's Lord Foul's Bane but quickly lost interest. I think I was reading some Thieves' World books. I can't remember if I'd read Tolkien by then or not. I read The Hobbit in elementary school as well as all of the Oz books. I'm sure there are many more but who can remember them all? Anyway, I lost the track of why DC shouldn't market to kids. Young readers will definitely read good shit, so that argument fell apart almost immediately. But I still don't want DC to market to kids for reasons to follow!

I don't really have any reasons. It's just that I'm turning 42 later this month and I figured I need to start hating young people for absolutely no reason. Even though old people have every reason to hate kids when they think it's funny to run across their lawn and see the old person completely lose their shit over it. Goddamned disrespectful little shits! I can't wait until you fucking own a window on something so I can throw my fucking walker through it! Now go do math problems or something useful!

I think what I'd really like is for adults to stop babying their kids so much. All y'all parents do realize your kids know more swear words than you, right? So why the fuck do you have to try to keep the public world free of swearing? And if you'd teach your kids about biology, why can't non-sexual nudity be allowed in public spaces? The fact that people even get their sphincters in a knot over women breastfeeding is ludicrous. That borders on childish. You do know what breastfeeding is, right American public? It is giving sustenance to a child. Does this next thing need to be said? Yes, here in America it definitely does: BREASTFEEDING IS NOT SEXUAL! BREASTS ARE FOR FEEDING! Sure, people like to look at them naked as well. But people also like to look at shirtless men and sexualize them but nobodies yelling at them to put a shirt on. Women's nipples are taboo but men's nipples are useless and on display everywhere you go. You realize it's just a self-sustaining cycle, right? The more you force women to hide their breasts, the more their breasts become sexualized.

This is how you know the whole thing is utterly ridiculous. If a nice, plump man boob is shown on television out of context, it would probably get a censor bar over it. But if people know it's a man's boob, the bar can be removed. Same boob; different reactions due to perception. I think that pretty much screams bullshit.

Why am I talking about all this in a Mr. Freeze commentary? Oh yeah! I want Mr. Freeze to be yelling "Freeze, Motherfucker!" on this cover but overprotective parents would flip the fuck out over a stupid word. I suppose no parent wants to hear their child saying anything about fucking their own mother even if they didn't mean it that way. I think I already talked about my DCXXX line of comic books, so here I am, once again rehashing old material! Like how I did my Grasshopper walks into a bar joke during the Riddler #1 commentary after I'd already done the joke way back in an early Nightwing commentary! Once again, who can remember all of this shit?

I'm so lost right now. I'm just going to read my comic book and pretend none of this ever happened.

Hey! I was just talking about thirty years ago when I was twelve! So it all ties in. Kind of.

Young Victor Fries is currently watching his father walk out on his family. That's what happens when you move to Gotham! Everything falls apart. I have a feeling people raised in Gotham have no understanding of things like air and rail travel. They don't realize the city doesn't just keeping going on forever and you can, if you just start walking, leave. But since The Fries family have just recently moved here, they know they don't have to stay. So Victor's mom moves him to Nebraska to live with their grandmother. Nebraska is one of those place everybody knows they can move out of except the old people. Old people love that place. Except for Lincoln and Omaha and maybe Grand Island.

Elderly Nebraskan: "There are just so many people in those places! It's like living on the coast! And there's no corn within eyesight! And corruption? Corruption on every street corner! If you let your kids go to one of them big cities, sure as shoot, you're gonna lose 'em to another state eventually. And that state probably won't be Kansas. Or South Dakota. But one of them Sodom or Gomorrahs like California or New York or Seattle!"

Once in Lowell, Nebraska, the events of Batman Annual #1 take place and his mother nearly dies. Then she totally dies later when Victor decides she's abandoned him and dumps her back in the freezing lake where she almost died the first time.

Back in the NOW of DC Comics Timeline, Mr. Freeze is contemplating how best to continue with his research now that Batman ruined his work with Nora Fields by pointing out she wasn't his wife. So who was she? Does her name anagram to "an old Fries" for a reason? Victor seems to be speaking to somebody either in the room with him or being held captive in the room next door. It seemed Batman did help him to drop the obsession with bringing back his mother which he was projecting onto the woman he had convinced himself had been his wife, Nora Fields. But now he's free of that obsession and able to fully concentrate on his work. It seems whomever he is speaking with must be his new work.

Oh shit! I hope it's Starling!

Damn. He's probably captured his step-mother. But on the plus side, he thinks the Birds of Prey are ridiculous too! I'm so disappointed in that book.

Mr. Freeze would like to be put in contact with his potential half-brother. But being insane and a criminal (not professional!), it's a bit tough hammering out the details of a visit. Mr. Freeze doesn't get his chance until the Justice League are defeated and Super Woman and Owlman break everybody out of Arkham.

Once he escapes, Mr. Freeze manages to track down his family and tell them all about the events of Batman Annual #2! He also finds out that his father has died, so he's free to take his father's place just like the Oedipal Complex he swore he didn't have.

Just another person with serious Daddy Issues.

DC must stand for Daddy Complex. Maybe that's why DiDio is so anti-marriage. What happened, Danny? What did mean old daddy do to your famiwy? Why can nobody be happy on your watch? Childhood was so hard with daddy expecting so much. And then when daddy left, you told him that you'd show him! You'd become a great big powerful big shot one day, right?! And then daddy would take notice of you! Then daddy would see you weren't worthless! As long as daddy just sees you in your expensive suit at DC Press Conferences and he never gets a glimpse of you crying your eyes out while sitting on the toilet in your private bathroom in your majestic office full of priceless art.

Mr. Freeze #1 Rating: I don't know. Somewhere in the teens, I guess? I liked the characterization of Mr. Freeze but this just felt like an addendum to Batman Annual #1. I guess that's the problem using a character in Villains Month that was already spotlighted in another issue.

Also, I was photoshopping the Anguished Fat Man into each issue in Villains Month in the same way that I did with Zero Month. But then I forgot to do it for The Riddler and now I can't be bothered. Thus ends that tradition that was barely a tradition and really just extra fucking work. I loved you and will miss you dearly, Anguished Fat Man!

Mr. Freeze! (as seen in Batman and shit)

PERSONAL DATA
Alter Ego: Unknown
Occupation: Criminal [Everybody else gets to be a Professional Criminal. I suppose it's just a hobby for Mr. Freeze.]
Marital Status: Single [No identity. No mention of his wife. This entry was way before his motivations were fleshed out, wasn't it?]
Known Relatives: None
Group Affiliation: None [The answer "None" on the Group Affiliation category always makes me a little bit sad.]
Base of Operations: Gotham City
First Appearance: BATMAN #121
Height: 6' Weight: 190 lbs.
Eyes: Blue Hair: None

HISTORY
The man who became known as Mr. Freeze has shrouded his early years in mystery, and so no on knows who this man was before the bizarre accident that transformed him into a twisted super-criminal [But not a professional one.].

Originally a sophisticated criminal with a brilliant scientific mind [And apparently no faith or religious upbringing to keep his science from being used in immoral and unethical ways. Fucking science and scientists. Thinking they can do whatever they want because MATH!], he one day was constructing a gun capable of emitting waves of frigid cold when a freak accident bathed him in an experimental freezing solution.

Almost immediately, the criminal scientist was unable to survive in a normal setting [Like at the dinner table at his parents' house on Thanksgiving. So no different from most of us, then.], requiring a special environment below 32 degrees centigrade [My survival environment is a dark, quiet room with a dirty magazine book by (Google famous author that would make me sound smart if I were reading it and insert it here).]. A short time later, the criminal fashioned a refrigerated uniform and set out to begin a crime spree through Gotham City as Mr. Zero [That's not a great name but I don't think it's the name you lose to be replaced by "Mr. Freeze."].

While initially successful, Mr. Zero was eventually defeated by Batman (see Batman II) [Big fucking surprise, right?].

This was a short-lived triumph for the Caped Crusader, because Mr. Zero returned several times. Despite the ingenious plans and traps Mr. Zero launched [I highly doubt they were ingenious since they were probably written in the Silver Age. Maybe "whimsically off-beat" I'd believe.], he was defeated time and again.

Hoping to reverse the defeats, Mr. Zero improved his cold gun and uniform, changed his name to Mr. Freeze, and began anew.

Mr. Freeze remains undaunted, although each defeat leaves his mind seemingly all the more unhinged. Mr. Freeze has preferred working with a small gang of thugs and his last known attack was to plunge Gotham into a miniature ice age, with himself as the new ruler [Why doesn't he just fucking run for Mayor?]. He was, of course, captured by Batman.

Since then, Mr. Freeze has escaped from Gotham Prison and has modified his battle armor once again, remaining a threat to Gotham's citizenry.

POWERS & WEAPONS
Mr. Freeze's original cold gun was a double-barreled model with sub-zero cold coming from one side and blistering heat from the other. In later models, the twin mold was discarded in favor of a single barrel pistol or rifle able to send out streams of cold in nearly any shape.

Freeze remains a superior scientist, using his skills to further modify his weapons and his survival suit. The suit is able to keep Freeze's body in an icy setting without radiating any unnatural cold. The current suit resembles armor and has built-in armaments, giving him greater control.

While Freeze's original experiments seem similar to those that gave Captain Cold (see Captain Cold) his own cold gun, they are entirely different [Of course. Nobody was suggesting you were treading the same old ground with just another ice villain. Why are you being so defensive about your lack of good ideas, DC?].

Birds of Prey #20

Well at least maybe she'll be able to hit something with that gun.

Last issue hit us all over the head with a huge twist shocker that Starling is a big douchebag. Although she's been all over the place in this comic so far. She loves Black Canary. She hates Black Canary. She doesn't know Katana's husband is in her sword. She knows Katana's husband is in the sword. She knows Black Canary killed her husband. She doesn't know Black Canary killed her husband. She's always drunk. She's never not drunk. Okay, so that's been consistent. But now that she's betrayed the team, I have to believe that she's actually betraying the betrayal of the team. Or, you know, she's still loyal. One of those ways was a much clearer way to phrase it.

The issue begins with Black Canary meditating on betrayal. "It's the bread and butter of Black Ops!" "Everybody betrays everyone eventually especially when you have inconsistent writers like Duane Swierczynski!" "Starling was such a fine, upstanding, decent, loyal friend who never constantly accused me of murdering my husband and selling her out to hit squads! I can't believe this!"

Why does she mention being Black Canary? Is one of her super powers to not be duped by double agents?

Strix is trapped in ice and Starling has the rest of the Birds covered with her pistols. I don't know why they don't charge her and disarm her! Nobody but the wall behind them is in danger of being shot. Black Canary decides to talk it out to give Babs some time to cut Strix out of the ice. But talking it out probably isn't such a good idea because Starling actually raises some pretty good points that I'm sure Black Canary will ignore simply because her feelings are hurt. And fuck working with someone who just hurt your feelings!

Meanwhile Condor simply stands around looking stupid.

Black Canary refuses to work with a crazy person like Mister Freeze. A crazy person like Katana? Oh, sure. No problem! She just talks to her sword, stabs people, and blows up hotels filled with guests. But at least she doesn't go around pretending she can eventually resurrect her spouse! Umm, hmm. Now I'm not exactly sure why Black Canary won't work with Mister Freeze! I guess the only reason left is because he has a prick! Sexist!

The lab coats in Owl Masks try to make a break for it and Starling shoots the wall around them to get them to stop. It doesn't work. Also, it isn't just that she's a lousy shot this time although I would have liked to leave it at that if I didn't think everyone on the internet would correct me. Condor uses his stupid mental powers to stop the stupid bullets from hitting the wall. Big help that guy is! At least the walls won't need any repair.

While the heroes and villains battle for who gets to take down the Court of Owls, the Court of Owls' lab monkeys make a break for it. Mr. Freeze traps Condor and Black Canary behind a wall of ice and Condor is useless to manipulate that much ice with his telepathy. Or perhaps it only works when things are flying at him very quickly. And Black Canary refuses to yell at the ice because she might hurt someone. On the other side of the ice, Starling continues to try to explain how they could all work together to stop the Court of Owls. But nobody wants to work with her now because she's a fucking jerk that lied to them and liars need to stop lying already even if it means The Court of Owls thugs get away.

The mantra of The New 52!

While the Court of Owls' scientists retreat, one of them takes the time to phone the Grandmaster to let him know that the mute Talon has returned. The Grandmaster is just relaxing at home in his Owl Mask because I guess they never take them off? He tells her to make sure Mary Turner (Strix!) doesn't leave. So now the Court of Owls' scientists need to stand and fight or else the Grandmaster will be angry. And then it will be the Night of the Talons all over again!

It turns out Mister Freeze is only using his indignity as a cover to hunt the Owls so he can learn one of their secrets, most likely one that will help restore his dead wife that he doesn't want to remember is dead.

It's stem cells pulled from the corpses of liberal babies spawned by Satan in unholy black rituals learned from playing Dungeons and Dragons and ignoring the wisdom of Ronald Reagan.

Oy! I knew it had something to do with Dungeons and Dragons!

Now that Mr. Freeze has the secret that he believes will bring back his wife (probably. Isn't that the only reason he does everything?) even though I'm pretty the process only works if you stick the electrum in a person's teeth while they're alive, he's ready to leave with Starling. I wonder why Starling owes him a favor? What's there a connection? Why does Starling have a stronger connection with Mister Freeze than with Black Canary? I believe it has something to do with all of the Wildstorm characters being written like crap since Flashpoint merged them into the DC Universe. They may or may not have been written like crap before that but I wouldn't know having read nothing but The Authority.

Starling gets away because Black Canary screams at her and the scream collapses the hallway Starling was running through although it doesn't hurt Starling at all. I guess because flesh is malleable while stone is rigid. I think Jesus or Einstein or Kant or Brandi Carlile said something about being more like the willow than the oak and this explains that somehow. And Starling plugged her ears with her fingers, so that kept her head from exploding. The important thing to the story is that she gets away to be dealt with later. And the really important thing to this story is that stupid fucking Condor is still alive.

The team splits up because Strix needs to get out of the cold and into the sun to heal, so Batgirl climbs out of the building with her while Canary and Condor go after Mister Freeze. And then Batgirl and Strix run into a very special guest star for next issue!

Calvin Rose! Okay, okay. I guess the guest star isn't all that special.

Birds of Prey #20 Rating: No change. Man. I liked Sword of Sorcery so much that I'm really disappointed with Christy Marx's Birds of Prey right now. I'm still hoping it eventually gets better since Marx was left with a confusing mess with some really awful characters when she took over. I suppose I just have to give it time! I hate giving things time!

Birds of Prey #19

Intact Freeze Gun. Undamaged Leg. I guess this takes place prior to Batwoman #18.

Now it makes sense that Mr. Freeze was able to leave a message for the other Birds of Prey on Starling's cell phone! How could I not have seen it before? The two are working together. That's the only explanation for Mr. Freeze having Starling's number. Well, maybe there's one other explanation that has to do with Mr. Freeze picking her up at a bar by buying her fifteen shots of whisky and laying down some really strong game. But I highly doubt there are any other explanations! Besides God. God is always an optional answer to questions that can't yet be answered by science or smart people.

I don't know how Black Canary doesn't figure it out immediately though. The first thing she should have asked was, "How the fuck did Victor Fries get Starling's number!?" Then the next question she should ask is, "Is Starling's phone number listed?" And then she should have realized all of their secret identities were at risk because she allowed a fucking drunk to hang out with them. And since I'm tired of this train of thought, let me finish with this non sequitor: I hope Condor dies.

The team stands around The Birds of Prey's soon to be flooded headquarters wondering where they're supposed to meet Mr. Freeze. He left them with a riddle even though he's not The Riddler. If he really wanted them to bring the Talon to him, why didn't he just say, "Bring her to the Starbucks on the corner of 5th and Jackson. The one on the Northwest corner, not the one on the Southeast corner." While they are discussing where to go, Batgirl uses the phrase "mad-on" and I'm suddenly sorely disappointed in Christy Marx. Fuck how I hate that saying. And Batgirl says it with her stupid chin strap face mask. I hate that chin thing on her mask as well!

At least the other thing I hate, Condor, has some important words for the group.

These cell phones are serious security risks.

Strix runs away while they're bickering which is probably for the best. Now Starling and Strix are gone! They just need to ditch Condor and they'll be rid of all the members I can't stand! Of course it'll just be Black Canary and Batgirl after that. But there are plenty of female bird heroes that can join the group! Like...well, I can't actually think of any right now. But I'm sure there are bunches!

The rest of the group all split up to track down Strix. Good thing they have their hacked cell phones so they can stay in touch.

While Black Canary gets some parkas and comforters together for their fight against Mr. Freeze, she reminisces about her first days with Team 7.

So it was just a coincidence that her sonic scream that would manifest later just happened to match up with her Team 7 codename? Not that canaries are known for blowing up people's heads with their bird songs. But you know what I mean. Right?

The team quickly tracks down Strix who just ran away like a scared kid when she heard they needed to go back to the Court of Owls' lab. But to save one of her new best friends, she's willing to be brave and lead the way. Damn. I was hoping she'd simply disappear.

I understand that "Birds of Prey" is also a pun on the slang term of "bird" meaning female which is why the team is traditionally all women. But I think it's time for Black Canary to fire everybody and have an all male Birds of Prey team! Because there aren't enough male-dominated super groups out there! Plus the women have had their chance in this Reboot and they couldn't pull it off with Duane writing their exploits. But now that a female is writing the comic book, she should fill the team with males! It all balances out perfectly. Maybe the name can be changed to Cocks of Prey! And it could become a slapstick horror thriller erotica mystery tale!

I'd fucking buy that.

Anyway, they're off to find Starling!

Fucking Bruce Wayne. Just think how many homeless people he created with this new fucking project to make money on turning another district of Gotham into a swanky, high-priced condominium hellhole.

On the way, Black Canary describes her fishnet technology to Condor. I have a feeling she's exaggerating a bit when she describes them as "kevlar-carbon-fiber-polymer mesh with self-repairing nanobots". Really, Black Canary? You have nanobots crawling about your under things? I think that's creepy. Or sexy? No, no. Definitely creepy.

When the team arrives at the Court of Owls' lab, they only find two Owl Scientists experimenting on the corpse of a young woman that had jumped into a river. No sign of Freeze or Starling which is when Batgirl realizes what just happened. Mr. Freeze was looking for information that the Talons were not giving up: the location of this lab. So he tricked the Birds and Strix into leading him to the place. Very nice, Mr. Freeze! A+ on the Super Villainry!

Hmm. Now I just wonder who Mr. Freeze was working with last issue!?

Of course this deteriorates into a brawl immediately. And even though Mr. Freeze has a gun that sprays ice all over the place in every direction and could fill the entire room in next to no time, he still begins to lose and calls out for help from his big surprise twist sidekick!

Surprise! What a twist!

Birds of Prey #19 Rating: +1 Ranking. Starling's loyalties have just been all over the place in this comic book so far. But if she is working with Waller, then maybe Waller has Mr. Freeze on a bit of a leash and the whole plan is to deal with some Court of Owls' shit. Here's hoping that this story arc kills the current roster and we get a fresh direction from this comic book soon.

Birds of Prey #18

No more Turds of Prey! That was Duane Swierczynski's mark of shame. Christy Marx needs to earn a Shame Title on her own!

Last issue didn't matter because the one constant in Duane Swierczynski's writing was that nothing that happened ever affected anything else. That being said, I hope Christy Marx clears up what happened to Poison Ivy!

I read somebody's thoughts on Christy Marx's version of Birds of Prey and she said, "I just finished reading Christy Marx’s first issue of Birds of Prey, and you know what? I barely noticed a difference." That's a fucking insult if I ever read one! It also has me worried! I sure hope Christy Marx doesn't treat the Birds the way Duane was treating them! I think she meant that Christy is going to run with the story and history that Duane put down. That's fine. That's actually a good-writer thing to do. And since Amethyst in Sword of Sorcery has been a lot of fun, I'm really looking forward to this change in writers.

I'd say it can't get any worse but DC has burned me before!

The issue begins with Mr. Freeze torturing a well mustachioed Talon. He's not limping or anything, so this story must take place before Batwoman. When the Talon won't tell Mr. Freeze what he wants to know, Mister Freeze has his unknown partner dispose of him however he'd like. The unknown person would like to put a couple of barrels of buckshot in the Talon's head. Oh, which he does! Just in case that wasn't totally clear.

So Mr. Freeze is actually cleaning up some of these Talons and Batwoman goes and fucks with him when he wasn't actually doing anything else? Plus he helped fight against Medusa (or so he claims!). Plus he helped fight against The Rotten Justice League in Rotworld! Doesn't that count for anything? But that's all over. Now Mr. Freeze is going to go after Strix for answers. And that will cause trouble which might give Batwoman a good reason to have gone after him, even if Batwoman doesn't know that that reason exists.

The first scene with the Birds of Prey feels right. This book might be on the right track! Even the Narration Boxes act as Thought Bubbles instead of weird out-of-time commentary!

Why does Batgirl have that chin thing?! That isn't normal, is it? Get rid of it! It's ugly! Is she slowly stealing Midnighter's look?

Things slowly get worse. But mostly due to the art, I think. Strix throws Condor into a mirror during a sparring match. The art shows Condor fifteen feet away from the mirror according to his reflection when he's actually only about three feet away from it. Then Black Canary lectures Strix for being out of control which pisses off Strix and they tussle. The punching bag that ends up spilling sand all over the gym is shown all over the place and at crazy heights in every shot. Maybe the artists are still drawing to Duane's world where no panels relate to any other panels. And then Batgirl still wishes Strix can talk to them even though Strix can write. Get her an iPad already!

Instead Strix has to write "hungry" on the wall with a piece of her own shit.

Condor offers to cook omellettes for everyone. Yay! Condor has found his place in the group as the chef and caretaker of the Birds of Prey secret headquarters! I would really love that. I don't actually like him being on the team. But as the Chef/Butler/Maid/Manservant/Security of the team? Perfect fit!

Afterward, Starling gets angry at Black Canary and storms out. Oh, she'll be back! Amanda Waller isn't going to let her go that easily.

Black Canary also takes off so that she doesn't have to deal with anybody. I'm beginning to wonder why she started this team in the first place? She doesn't get along with anybody! At least not for more than a few pages. Dinah ends up in a coffee shop where she meets an elderly woman who mentions that she used to order her coffee in this place during Prohibition when they'd sneak hooch into her drink. My first thought was, "What the fuck? Is she a hundred years old?" Turns out she's ninety-nine years old! I hope she's the newest member of the Birds of Prey! And luckily she's a black woman because Dinah Lance needs some advice!

There's nobody wiser than a really elderly black woman! Except maybe a blind elderly black woman! I'm pretty sure the reason Luke didn't recognize Yoda on Dagobah was because he was expecting an old gray haired black woman in a rocking chair sipping her tea.

After Dinah's lesson in inner peace and tranquility, she returns to the Birds of Prey Secret Headquarters. Everybody is there, even Starling, because they all got texts from Black Canary to meet back at Headquarters. But Black Canary didn't send a text! And then it becomes apparent that I was entirely mistaken when I've been calling the headquarters secret!

Black Canary and Strix seem to be getting along just fine now.

Mr. Freeze obviously wants the Talon. Silly rabbit! Strix are for kids! I told you I'd eventually say that! But the warning was a long time ago, so you probably weren't adequately prepared for the awfulness of it. I'll give you a moment to recover before we get back to the story.

...

Okay then! Starling also has some really horrible jokes to share as well!

You've got to admire her horrible joke ability! Mr. Freeze interrupts her first crack and she doesn't miss a beat thinking up another!

Mr. Freeze must not know anything about Starling or he wouldn't have wasted his time attacking her first. Her bullets weren't going to hit anything except the wall behind him anyway. Black Canary gets frozen next because she has the ability to scream her way out of the ice. You know, if she was encased with some air in her lungs. Oh man. If she just got finished breathing out, she's fucked! But Condor is on it! He's done sweeping up and mopping, so now he can do some security! He uses his telekinesis to smash the punching bag (the one piece of gym equipment Black Canary can apparently afford) into Mr. Freeze's head.

What is wrong with these heroes?! They do see that he has a helmet on, right? Do they just assume it's easy break glass? As if he would wear something on his head that would shatter from anything less than Batman's fist? Amateurs! In this book and Batwoman!

Mr. Freeze sprays his misty load all over the room and then escapes with Starling since she was the only Bird unable to defend herself. But he sends the Birds a text message on Starling's cell phone she left behind, demanding they meet him later and to bring the Talon. I have a feeling he needs some information on resurrection to help his wife Nora.

Birds of Prey #18 Rating: +1 Ranking. This comic deserves a boost simply because Duane is gone. But I don't care about that shit. Let's talk about super heroes and their cell phones! Do they all have two cell phones? One for the secret identity and one for the super hero? In one Superman issue, Superman answered Clark Kent's phone while in Smallville when he was supposed to be in Metropolis. Isn't that careless? And how else do super heroes get in contact with each other? Where do they leave their super hero cell phones when they're in their secret identity. That can't keep it on them or anywhere near their real home, right? Can't people trace those things or track their GPS? I liked my Super Hero Universe better before cell phones!

Batwoman #18

Excuse me for a moment, Batwoman. I need to piss in some mouths really quick. Even though he doesn't need it and won't ever read this, I just wanted to take a moment to defend Wil Wheaton before kissing Batwoman's ass.

Tonight on Tumblr, somebody sent a message telling him he sucks (couched in the "I'm disappointed" language of the utterly offended) because he reblogged Louis C.K. and because he has earned a paycheck for being on The Big Bang Theory. I'm not going to argue whether or not somebody might be offended by Louis C.K. He's a really smart, cutting edge comic and that's always going to step on a few toes. But life steps on toes and comics don't shy away from talking about life. So let's talk about the problem of Wil Wheaton on The Big Bang Theory.

It's not a problem. I don't watch the show mostly because I still can't believe shows use laugh tracks and that show seriously overuses the laugh track. I've seen the show and will watch it for a few minutes here and there in syndication because I think it can be funny. I think it would be funnier from a nerd perspective as opposed to the way it slyly winks at the non-nerds watching the show and whispering, "Can you believe these guys?" But I'm not here to defend what the show does right and critique what I think it does wrong. The person seemed to think it was a problem that Wil Wheaton was drawing a paycheck from being on the show. Wil told this person to fuck off in a more polite way than I would have but in an offensive enough way to piss off a lot of other people who suddenly decided Wil was an asshole.

Wil, be an asshole. Fuck the people that want to take the piss out of you because they expect you to be what they expect you to be. You follow me? If we could all only take jobs that wouldn't offend a single person on Tumblr, we'd all be unemployed. But I guess we'd be incredibly enlightened and totally unoffensive! I guess that's a thing!

One of the truest posts I ever read on Tumblr went something like this: "The quickest way to lose followers on Tumblr is to be yourself." Of course the corollary to that is "Fuck them." I've learned there are two signs that I'm writing my commentaries really well: when I gain a lot of followers in quick succession, and when I lose a lot of followers in quick succession.

Was Wil's response appropriate? Should it even be judged as such? Sometimes a person reacts to an individual more harshly than he would have because he's reacting to the many people that came before with the same exact bullshit. So the response might seem heavy handed or over the top in the small moment others are allowed to see. Perhaps Wil was responding to more than the one person. Anyway, why can't Wil be upset? Because people expect more from him? Because he has a soapbox and should "be better" than other people? Wil's critics seem just fine to react to his anger with their own anger. I suppose celebrities aren't allowed to have outbursts. When you're surprised that a celebrity shows him/herself to be human, it isn't a fault with the celebrity. It's a fault with your initial perception of the celebrity. Perhaps that's why so many people were angry? They were angry at themselves for somehow being duped into believing a role model was something other than just another person.

Anyway, Tumblr allows for everyone to voice their opinions. I'm all for the cacophony. But remember this: the person that makes a stupid joke (often me!) or reblogs some insensitive thing on Tumblr (probably me again!), for whatever reason, might just be the biggest champion of social justice when things really fucking count out in the Thunderdome of society (probably...no, sorry. Not me this time. Fuck everyone that isn't me!). This was my voice added to the howling moan. And now, Batwoman! Finally.

The comic opens with Hawkfire and Batwoman punching Mr. Freeze in the helmet.

I like that Jacob Kane (Kate's dad! Bette's uncle!) is anti-snark. I shouldn't be surprised though. He is military and Bette is currently in the line of duty. Get serious, Private!

Let's consider Bette's decision to put flamethrowers in her costume. In what way is that a good idea? As a law enforcement agent, if you're resorting to fire, you've already decided that death and destruction is acceptable. She can't set criminals on fire! Okay, occasionally she can if they're Urban Legends, I guess. But she's really walking an ethical tightrope if she refuses to kill bad guys but putting them in the hospital from serious burns is a tactic. At that point, it's just a toss up as to how injured they'll be. They could need amputations. They could easily get serious infections and die. Or end up with a future of plastic surgery, skin grafts, and physical therapy. And even if she doesn't use her flamethrower on the criminals, why bother? The only thing she'll be doing is setting buildings on fire and causing more problems than the criminal! I think Hawkfire needs to go back to the drawing board and brainstorm a new name.

While Hawkfire fights, she has Colonel Jacob Kane watching via a camera attached to her costume and giving her pointers via wireless communication. Batwoman has the same set up but with Cameron Chase at the other end of her microphone. Both voices seem to be a bit more of a distraction than a help but I suppose neither one actually had much say in the set-up. I'm sure Uncle Jake wouldn't let Bette out in that suit if he couldn't watch her and try to keep her safe. And Batwoman is the tool of the DEO, so she's stuck as well. It doesn't much matter though because Mister Freeze is quickly taken down with a nice big ice chunk jammed through his leg. At least he didn't get third degree burns over forty percent of his body.

Uncle Jake has a few questions about why his daughter is hunting Mr. Freeze. But neither he nor Bette can ask her because they seem to be keeping their communications secret from Batwoman. But they're not the only ones wondering why she's after Freeze.

By the way Batwoman fingers his gun after the fight, I suspect the DEO sent her in to grab up some of his technology.

Batwoman's response to Mr. Freeze basically amounts to, "You're a doody head!" And then Batman arrives to scare the crap out of everybody. The layout of the panels when Batman arrives is really nice, showing a blue half of the bat symbol on the left-hand page and a red half of the bat symbol on the right-hand page. And the layout isn't just nice on this page! The previous pages have retained the playfulness and beauty of the layouts when J.H. Williams was doing the art himself. I was worried about the change of artists on the book but I've been quickly won over (I first typed "run over") by Trevor McCarthy's work here.

Anyway, Batman is here!

I know, right?

Batman wants the Freeze Ray but, as expected, Cameron freaks out and tells Kate to tell Batman to go to hell. Very brave, standing up to Batman way on the other end of that wireless tether! Batman also has a few tips to pass along to Batwoman about fighting bad guys. Well, one tip actually.

Okay, it's not so much a tip as a critique!

Hey Batman! Take your advice and shove it! Some people might think causing a Catwoman to crash a motorcycle going at 100 miles per hour might be a bit of overkill as well! Sure, wah wah wah. You were out of your mind from grief. You still nearly killed your midnight fuck buddy, you bastard! At least Batwoman only took advantage of an icicle that accidentally went into Mr. Freeze's leg as opposed to purposefully trying to cripple him. Catwoman (and Ann Nocenti!) were right: you are a bully!

Batwoman gives Batman half of Mr. Freeze's weapon and all of Mr. Freeze. She then heads off, probably to be yelled at by Cameron Chase and Mr. Bones.

Instead of chastising her, Mr. Bones decides to torment her. He's desperately trying to keep her on the line and working for the DEO. Now that it looks like she's about to break free, Mr. Bones figures it's time to release Alice back into Gotham.

And then it's time to build some sub-plots!

Sub-plot #1: Uncle Daddy Jake's wife (new wife? Did I know he had a wife? Oh memory, you frigid whore!), while looking for the cat, has found Bette's Flamebird costume stuffed under Bette's mattress alongside her porn.

Wait. They have a cat?!

Sub-plot #2: Maggie Sawyer is looking for an apartment to share with her fiance, Batwoman!

Sub-plot #3 but not really since it was already touched upon in the Mister Bones scene: Cameron Chase meets with the fish that they'll be releasing back into Gotham just like my tortured fishing analogy paragraph mentioned!

I don't know for sure it's Kate's sister Alice but judging by the ending of Issue #17, I'd say that's a good guess.

Batwoman #18 Rating: +1 Ranking. I was worried things would fall apart when the new artist came on board but I like it! Still a good looking book. And do I have to add that it's still well-written? I think my "+1" already said that.

Batman Annual #1

Good news, Doom Bunny! This is the last Night of the Owls commentary you'll ever have to read!

Night of the Owls proves that DC still has quite a bit of work to do to get this whole New 52 thing right. The editorial leadership at DC Comics seem to think that showing the reader that the character they want to read about doesn't live in a vacuum is the most important part of The New 52. They call it "world building" or some other such nonsense. What it really should be called is "story line destroying" because the writers are constantly being forced to come up with stories where their character interacts with someone else's character. The more cynical readers will say that this is just to get buyers to purchase more comic books. And if that's true, it's going to fail spectacularly. Because interrupting a great storyline just to shove Kyle Rayner or Red Hood into your comic for the sake of "world building" does the opposite of making people buy more comics. Let the writers write good stories and the readers will purchase the comic book. But force them to stick a Talon into their book (many in the middle of story arcs already) and the comic will mostly suffer. DC, stop being so concerned with every title having guest stars every few months and let the lead character on a title shine.

I'm glad this whole thing is about to be over. And it's sad that the genuinely well-told story happening in the pages of Batman sparked the idea to have any comic with a link to Gotham be part of the story. It was unnecessary and all it has done is left me exhausted and annoyed. Hopefully Snyder's story in this annual will pull it all together for a decent finish.

For hundreds of years, the Court of Owls remained secret and ruled from the shadows, trying to keep their existence in the realms of fantasy and urban legend. But then Batman discovered them and was close to exposing everything they really were. Desperate to stop the discovery of the members of the Court, they resurrected all of their retired Talons and let them loose on Gotham to kill dozens of important figures. I believe each of these figures they were to kill had some information that could expose the Court. Mr. Freeze worked with them. Batman had recently discovered them. Dick Grayson had just found out about his history and how he was supposed to become the next Talon. Lincoln March had information on the Court which he has just recently passed on to Batman. So this Night of the Owls was an attempt to clean up the pellets the owls had been leaving all over Gotham. They were trying to get back to secrecy. It kind of blew up in their faces though!

So now that I've gotten through the summary of what has been going on, it's time to put the Court of Owls to rest in their nest.

Mr. Freeze as a small boy in Lowell, Nebraska.

It's now just after midnight on the Night of the Owls. Victor Fries has been carted off to Arkham after Jason Todd, Starfire, and Roy Harper saved his life from a Talon. He's busy in therapy talking about the time his mother fell through some ice and the cold preserved her until help arrived. Not that it's any of my business since I've never run an insane asylum, but is this really the time for a therapy session? Arkham was almost killed and the asylum exploded into a riot. Perhaps it's standard operating procedure to interview inductees on their return to Arkham. Oh, it's always on their return! Nobody is ever new to Arkham.

So Victor is telling his therapist all about how the Court of Owls tricked him into using his formula to bring people back from the dead and then how they tried to kill him. The therapist keeps bringing up Nora and Mr. Freeze is not happy discussing Nora. She is currently preserved by cold. She seems to be the reason for all of his experiments since he told Starfire he's doing it all for love back in Red Hood #9.

Here's a riddle: What happens in Arkham when a deranged mental patient is put in the same room as his therapist? If you said, he escapes, you're correct! If you also said the therapist dies and/or falls in love with the inmate, you'd also be correct! If you said the inmate is cured, you need to read more Batman comic books.

Mr. Freeze makes escaping from Arkham look far easier than everyone already thought it was. Once he's out of his cell and back into his suit, he takes a food delivery truck and drives on over to the Iceberg Casino to visit the Penguin. Or maybe to just use Penguin's ice making technology that keeps the casino covered in ice.

A visit it is!

The Penguin and Victor discuss the peculiarities of Victor's visit. A question here, a mild threat there, and perhaps a fake robbery set-up as Victor retrieves his guns from The Penguin. I don't know why The Penguin has them on hand but I'm sure it involves Freeze paying The Penguin large sums of money. Freeze leaves The Penguin's casino with his weapons and heads off to get his wife, Nora, and to kill Bruce Wayne before leaving Gotham for good.

Mr. Freeze's wife was kept in Waynetech where Fries was doing research on Cryogenics. I'm pretty sure there was an accident that turned him into the frozen icicle he is now and he became mentally unbalanced, lost his job, and lost track of his wife's frozen body. But now he's returned for her and found that the cryogenic chamber she was in now contains an elderly man. Freeze also finds some wayward super heroes.

I wonder if they were down here fetching some ice technology to stop the final Talons. Probably! It's a better place to look than a subway or a train station!

Mr. Freeze gets the better of Nighwing and Robin because this is Batman's Annual! Bruce Wayne, calling on some communication thing somewhere in the lab, convinces Mr. Freeze to let Robin and Nightwing go. Bruce is waiting for Freeze in the penthouse at the top of the elevator. And it's taken me awhile because I've just been wrapped up in the story, but I finally realize that this story isn't going to wrap up any Court of Owls crap at all! So I guess the Court of Owls storyline will continue in Batman #10 as Batman takes Lincoln March's information and heads off to shut them down. But for now, in this comic book, Batman is just going to fight Mr. Freeze to the death! Ha ha, no, just kidding. Batman will probably make him cry though.

Batman and Mr. Freeze tussle for awhile in front of Nora in her cryogenic chamber. And then Batman disrupts the delusion.

I told you he was going to make him cry! Does Mr. Freeze cry icicles?

Batman knocks Freeze unconscious by raising his body temperature using the formula that brought the Talons back to life. I think this is some kind of irony or something. But before he blacks out and ends the issue, he has one last memory of walking with his mother through the snow after she recovered, slightly brain damaged, from her fall through the ice.

This scene might have been more poignant if I hadn't been distracted by her bandages being on the wrong hand when she's dumped in the hole.

And that wraps it up for the Night of the Owls crossovers! Hooray! I hope DC doesn't do this too often. Probably three quarters of the Night of the Owls crossovers were crap, throw away stories that didn't do anything for the characters or the current story lines. Even the ones that tried to make them some kind of comment on the main character, like Red Hood or Batgirl. Although Catwoman's issue worked well. So, there was that one.