Saturday, March 31, 2012


The Biggest Crossover since Superboy/Teen Titans!

The title of this issue is "Occasionally Monsters Accidentally Crossover." That's pretty good! They could have also called it "Sharing Hero's Audience Doubles Earnings."

Frankenstein has been summoned to Checkmate's headquarters under Mt. Rushmore. Does Checkmate stand for anything? I hope not! It's apparently funded and run by the United Nations although I thought it was its own private organization. The Blackhawks are also covert and run by the United Nations. And SHADE must also be covert and run by the United Nations because they're Checkmate's sister squad. Maybe SHADE is just run by the Americans. I don't know! It's hard enough remembering lots of words that I can make SHADE stand for!

How can he know that?! Does he understand the meaning of the word 'covert'?

Frankenstein is off to catch OMAC and bring him in. And I guess Frankenstein's bolts are supposed to be on the side of his head. I guess they're keeping his skullcap on instead of his head. Checkmate tries to send the operatives with the silly names but Frankenstein doesn't want to work with a bunch of normal humans that have code-names like Castle and The Horsey and The Piece That Can Only Go Diagonally!

I smell lawsuit! Big green guy who knows how to smash? Yeah. Somebody should sue!

Frankenstein keys into OMAC's energy signature and drops out of the sky on Kevin. Kevin notices just in the nick of time to say the thing he says to turn into OMAC which I will not repeat! Omactually, maybe I can learn to Omaccept the phrase and type it: Omactivate. Yes. OMACTIVATE! So he says that and a big fight begins where buildings and cars are thrown about.

Property values in Metropolis must be atrocious. And insurance premiums outrageous!

A gigantic fight ensues with lots and lots of property damage. During the street brawl, Brother Eye and SHADE battle each other on a nanotechnical and informational level. Brother Eye ends up getting the better of SHADE and escaping the encounter with access to their files. And the street brawl ends when Brother Eye teleports OMAC away from the fight just as Frankenstein is about to put him down.

I'm sure losing an arm is no big deal to Frankenstein.

The fight ends with no real winner. Is that why it needs to continue in Frankenstein's comic? Kevin reappears back in the bathroom at Cadmus with a giant green arm attached to his wrist. What's he going to do with that? Flush it? And the issue ends with some mysterious Grand Director of Cadmus issuing orders to the scientists in the secret lab to finish up their project to defeat everything so that they can take control of something called the Genesis technology.

Yeah, I don't know where that came from. I guess they needed a new plot for next issue and wanted to get a jump on it.

Animal Man #7

I'm waiting for the Origin of Animal Animal!

In the middle of this issue, Buddy Baker has a dream about the future.

In the future, Travel Foreman is not the artist.

The Earth is a bleak, fly-infested landscape covered with dust and littered with bones. This is a world taken over by the Rot because Buddy Baker did not protect his daughter. Maxine is here fighting the Rot as Animal Woman alongside Swamp Thing, an aging John Constantine, and her mother Ellen with a shotgun.

A mutant penis bites Maxine and gives her The Rot.

Maxine is infected with The Rot and, I guess, everything is lost. That's his dream. And that's the majority of the issue. Or maybe the shopping trip into town was the majority of the issue. Because after the dream, the Rotten Animals show up at the RV door and the issue ends.

Am I running out of commentary? Have my commenting wells run dry? I guess I just have to accept the fact that not every comic I read is going to be interesting (or bad) enough to comment on. Animal Man will definitely drop a spot in the ranking after this issue since the last two issues, while technically fine, did not really engage me or do anything new. Last issue an uninspired take on an old theme and this issue we get another uninspired take on the dreaming the future plot.

This issue seems really uninspired when it revolves around dreaming and it doesn't make me want to talk about dreams. I don't even want to relate the story about the time I dreamed the lottery numbers. I think trying to catch up to DC's current issues is just going to lead to me burning out. I blame the comics for not being interesting enough. Come on, comics! Get better!

Animal Man #6

The tagline to Buddy's movie sounds like a Stormwatch plot.

Nearly this entire issue is an excerpt from "Tights", the movie Buddy Baker starred in about the washed up super hero who can't move on with his life.

John Paul Leon does the art for this section.

The story isn't anything surprising. It's about Chas, middle aged man who just can't keep up with his world changing around him. He can't move on from his persona, Red Tornado, so he's caught in a cycle of drinking, nostalgia, and going from job to job searching for something he'll never find. His wife is divorced and has a new, wealthy man in her life. His son has gotten to an age where he just seems embarrassed by his dad's past exploits as Red Tornado. Chas feels everything slipping away from him so he gives Red Tornado one last shot and promptly ends up in the hospital from a severe beating. His ex-wife and son plead with him to stop. But there's nothing else for him. He either dies quickly as the hero he sees himself as or he dies a long, miserable death from loneliness and unfulfilled dreams.

I wouldn't mind more of Artist Leon and less of Artist Foreman.

After that panel, Cliff's battery dies on the device he's been streaming the movie on. The family is still in the RV and on the run from the Rot Monsters. But Socks has a plan!

While scanning this picture, I suddenly began craving Indian food.

This is the kind of comic that I don't mind being inserted into story arcs. I don't need a story to wrap up as quickly as possible. And one that takes its time while telling stories is worth it. One that takes its time because it's just padding pages with more action scenes is annoying, especially when there seems to be a decent story trying to emerge. I'm looking at you, Supergirl. I just wish the movie, Tights, had been unconventional. This was a story that's been told before. Just making it about a Super Hero isn't enough of a spin.

But since that was the story the movie told, I have to believe that there is a reason Buddy wanted to star in this. Is this what Buddy actually fears? Is this why he stays in the Super Hero game and not just because it's 'fun'? But because he can only truly find himself inside the costume. Outside of it, he's just another husband struggling to stand out in a mundane world.

So what's going to happen now that Maxine is taking center stage?!

Friday, March 30, 2012

Animal Man #5

Maxine looks like a Vampiric Ninja Turtle.

Buddy, Maxine, and Socks are on their way to save Ellen and Cliff from the third hunter. Socks doesn't think Buddy should be bringing Maxine toward the hunter because Maxine is all that matters. Of course, that means it doesn't matter if Socks lives or dies either!

Socks could take him.

Ellen and Cliff are blasting the shit out of the Hunter with Ellen's mom's shotgun. It doesn't seem to hurt it but it does mess up its shape and slow it down. It's about to kill Cliff when Buddy throws himself on it and allows Ellen and Cliff to escape. But Buddy once again gets his ass kicked by another Hunter. This Hunter's finishing move is Fill Victim With Lard.

Mmm, sweet, sweet, jelly-filled Animal Man.

This lard filling gives Buddy a vision of the future if the Hunters succeed. And the future involves Buddy Baker being a web of organs with a face. But he only has the face for a little bit because Maxine eats it. Like on the cover!
Buddy is about done in. He's left to grovel and beg for his daughter's safety when he becomes cut off from the Life Web. And then, he suddenly feels it all around him as Maxine calls in the reinforcements.

Raccoons to the rescue!

Except the rescue kind of goes tits up. By eating the Hunter, all of the animals are infected by the Rot and they turn on Buddy Baker. But I think Buddy stands a better chance beating up a bunch of animals than he does beating up the Hunter. Except Buddy is probably against hitting animals, being a vegan and an animal rights activist. So his only option is to run.

The Baker clan load up in Ellen's mom's RV and they flee the farm. Socks claims that the Rot will now spread and infect everything in the path of these animals. And then he claims that only the Swamp Thing can save them now.

How my girlfriend sees Raccoons.

How I see Raccoons.

Swamp Thing #7


Instead of transforming Alec Holland into the Swamp Thing instantly, the Parliament of Trees play a little game with him. They use their power to keep him from dying outright and then encase him in a giant head of lettuce.

Why does the Rot need to turn their heads around to control them? Stop being creepy for the sake of being creepy, Rot!

The Parliament plan to keep him alive just long enough to experience the pain of their deaths and then let him die as well. If this were to be believed, then this is the last issue of the comic book! So something better happen to change Alec's fate!

The Parliament admit to using all of their power to resurrect Alec in the hopes that he would become their Warrior King. But he refused and he kissed Abby when they told him not to. So now they're acting like spiteful parents telling their child, "We told you so!", and refusing to help him because he didn't do as they said. What a bunch of jerks! I can't wait until they're dead and out of Swamp Thing's life for good!

The love story of a Head of Lettuce and a Hardened Cocoon.

Alec and the Parliament of Trees debate for awhile and it seems as if the Parliament would transform Alec to save him if they could. Alec reminds them he has the last canister of the bio-restorative formula in his backpack. If they break the vial, the transformation could work. They agree to try even though they are doomed themselves no matter what happens.

It works. And Alec Holland becomes the monster once again. But this time he did it on his terms and for his own reasons. And he won't have any stupid trees telling him what to do. He grows wings made of branches and leaves and flies off to make war with The Rot. And possibly save Abby as well. Or, you know, fight her to the death. Whatever.

Swamp Thing #6

"Even love dies"? As if Love is all powerful or something? Shit, love dies all the time. In long car rides. In desperately quiet households. In a stranger's glance. Love is one of the most fragile things there is!

Alec and Abby's get together has been interrupted by the Parliament of Trees screaming inside Alec's head. While Alec is distracted, William squirms free of the tree (the Chlorophyll didn't seem to harm him too much. Did he really need to be in that bubble?). And because Abby and Alec were basically making out in a pile of blood and gore, William captures Abby inside a cocoon of bones and guts.
Abby is going through a transformation in her flesh cocoon. That's what cocoons are for, right? She is the Avatar of the Rot, not William. And now she's going to fulfill her destiny. The Rot will have its Queen.

Oh, yeah, the Queen thing. William was telling Alec a story about playing chess back in the hospital. Except both sides were missing the Queen. So they used old spools to represent the queens. He mentioned how sad it was to have two sides fighting a battle while missing their strongest weapons. So, yeah, it's an analogy about the Rot versus the Green. And Abby is the Rot's Queen. And Swamp Thing is the Green's Queen. That should be the subtitle to this comic: Swamp Thing, Queen of the Green.

And now with the Parliament of Trees burning and Abby trapped by the Rot, will Alec finally reclaim the mantle of Swamp Thing? Is it time for him to turn? I think so!

But the Parliament of Trees says no. They are dying and it's too late to change him. And then a creature of the Rot sticks a chainsaw through Alec's chest!

It's like the cover of a Stryper album.

Alec Holland once again dies in a swamp. Or is dying in the swamp. But that's what is needed to transform him! The Green always take a dying man into its power. The last time Alec transformed, it was faulty because he had fully died in the explosion. But now The Green can take and transform him while he's still clinging to the last of his life. The Rot just fucked up! Nothing more embarrassing than saying Checkmate during a match and having your opponent get out of it!

The story is just getting better! Up the ranks and I think I'll go ahead and read Issue #7 now. Which will get me caught up on 1 out of 52 titles!

Swamp Thing #5

I'm surprised that isn't Swamp Thing instead of Alec Holland.

Well, it's been a few weeks and now it's time to read Swamp Thing #5!

A man named Professor Robert has headed into the Amazon Rainforest. His guide leaves him at the boundary of the Terena Peoples. The Terena's main concern seems to be that they aren't speaking Old Portugese to them. Yes, I know it's actually spelled 'Portuguese' but the Letterer who did the following panel spelled it without the second 'u'.

Mystery solved! This language everyone has been speaking is Old Portugese [sic]!

Professor Robert opens up his shirt and exposes his chest full of The Rot. Flies fly forth from his flesh and enter into the ears of the Terena! Their necks snap and they follow Professor Robert into the forest with their heads on backwards.

Back in America, Abby and Alec are on their way to the Deadlands. They've stopped off in a convenience store for some snacks and when they leave, they come face to face with Bloody William and his new friends he's made at the slaughterhouse nearby.

Throw some grass seed at him!

Alec gathers his power and destroys all of the Rot creatures with his branches and vines. He also captures William by trapping him in the branches of a tree Alec grew beneath William. William bitches and moans that his chlorophyll allergy will kill him but Alec seems to think he'll be fine. I don't know why he thinks this. Because he's a tree doctor?

Alec and Abby then have a touching moment where they describe the dreams they had as children. Alec used to see a girl made of bones. And Abby would see a boy made of leaves. Both were warned of the dangers of the other. And even though the warnings seem to be screaming at them, they decide to ignore them.

How poetic! Kissing amidst spilled peaches and blood.

Apparently this is the wrong thing to do! William begins laughing and calling them idiots! And Alec suddenly gets red flecks in his green eyes. Perhaps he's caught the Rot? But even worse, Professor Robert and his Rot Henchmen have stumbled into the Parliament of Trees with torches and are ready to set the whole place on fire!

This issue of Swamp Thing is good enough to let it climb the rankings by one rung. I'm also going to break my comic book reading pattern and read the next issue immediately!

Justice League Dark #5

Use your spells not your fists!

Justice League Dark begins with a rash of strange occurrences happening across the country. This used to happen every few issues in Shade the Changing Man.

My basement is still flooded with Vic 20s.

In one of her narration boxes, Madame Xanadu admits that it was she who separated June Moon from The Enchantress. How? I don't know. Why? Probably because it needed to be done for something else to be done to help out some obscure future event that she can see. And at what cost? Cost is something magic types never consider. Or they do consider it and they just don't care. They're kind of like modern day pharmaceuticals. They solve one problem while generating a host of crappy symptoms. So Xanadu freed June Moone which caused the whole country to turn to shit. Eh. It couldn't be helped!

John Constantine appears to help June Moone escape the giant Enchantress made from little Enchantresses. Like a Magic Katamari.

Isn't John Dee the guy in the first Sandman story who traps all of the people in the diner in the issue called '24 Hours'? And Choronzon was a major demon player in Morrison's The Demon. I think.

June hops into the magic circle with John before the scene cuts to Shade, Deadman, Zatanna, and Xanadu. Their discussion about how to proceed is mostly composed of Deadman shouting at them. Deadman ditches them all to go help June Moone. The rest M-Vest to the Envelope Farm and find themselves in the Rotten Teeth Tornado.

The title of this comic may be Justice League Dark but it's as much Shade the Changing Man as ever!
The JLD aren't overpowered by the rotten teeth like those wimps in the normal Justice League were. But each member of the team begins seeing things and start slipping from reality. Shade is brought back to his senses when Zatanna makes out with him. But soon after, Zatanna and Xanadu begin speaking nonsense.

Through speaking with June, Constantine realizes the spell which Xanadu used to separate Moone and Enchantress was the rhyme that June kept trying to remember. Constantine also learned that Moone's personality being buried inside the Enchantress actually kept the Enchantress sane and in check. June Moone was both sanity and conscious to The Enchantress. Without June, the Enchantress will just destroy the world. So Constantine begins saying the rhyme that will merge the two when Boston Brand shows up trying to be chivalrous.

What is Deadman going to do? Fly through him a bunch of times?

Deadman does try to possess Constantine but finds Constantine's mind/soul/essence disgusting. Deadman does the ghost equivalent of vomiting and is ejected from Constantine's body and giving Constantine time to finish up his rhyme. June Moone and Enchantress are once again merged and the chaos ends.

During this, Mindwarp appears in his seizure soul and doesn't actually do anything. And really, none of them did anything except for Constantine. But none of that was really the point anyway. As I predicted, the whole thing was caused by Xanadu simply to get these people together to stop a certain future from coming true. But once the Enchantress issue is dealt with, none of them stick around anyway. And so Xanadu failed.

But her failure is only going to mean something horrible is coming and that horror will have to be dealt with by the same group of magic folk. They'll probably realize after the next catastrophe that it might be wise to at least get everyone else's contact number so they don't have to spend four issues finding each other.

If these guys were normal Super Heroes, they would have formed a group and thought up a cool name and started wearing matching costumes after their great big semi-success. But it wouldn't be believable for Constantine or Shade or Mindwarp (probably) to join a group. So they're going to need at least one more near world ending catastrophe to convince them.

Red Lanterns #5

Bleez pulls off a perfect Butt-Boob Showcase!

I like how this cover is almost exactly like the cover of Issue #4. That one also declared a big fight to lead the Red Lanterns. Or at least a big fight for a ring. But then that never happened. So the cover declares it'll happen this time. I'm pretty sure the Cover Artists for DC get a general synopsis for the story that will be in the book they're doing the art for but by the time the book is ready to see print, the whole story has shifted and changed and they don't bother to change the cover art at all. I understand when the cover lies just to be more exciting. But when the cover mentions a story arc that never develops until later, it just seems like a mistake.

Krona's body has been stolen from Atrocitus so Atrocitus no longer has anybody to confide in. And it seems like this happens a lot on Ysmault because Atrocitus isn't really too shocked (plus he says, "Again!"). He flies off to yell at Bleez.

Bleez suggests that perhaps Krona has come back to life. And even though Atrocitus has mutilated his corpse more times than he can remember, he believes it could be true. So he organizes a search party by throwing Bleez into a mountain and telling her to fetch his Red Lanterns drowning in the Blood Ocean.

Kitty at Bleez's foot and he wants attention.

All three Red Lanterns tossed into the ocean have survived the experience. Zilius Zox, a big round rock with a face, legs and ams, returns without the reader getting any of his experiences. Skallox remembers he was a torturer and the servant of a great crime lord who betrayed him and through him in a fire. The Red Ring found him and saved him but not before his face melted off. And Ratchet was caught for leaving his basement to meet his internet friends and was put in a cell for 80 years. During that time, they amputated his tendrils. The Red Ring broke him out when his rage became great enough.

These three Red Lanterns along with Bleez and Atrocitus will now decide who in the universe is deserving of vengeance. Ratchet makes it clear that this is no goody-goody mission of justice they are on.

But this guy looked so cute in his past life.

But first they need to find the missing dead Guardian Krona! And meanwhile, back on Earth...

Big surprise! The smart brother who was never angry turns into the Red Lantern!

The angry brother on Earth starts a fight with some cops and gets his ass killed while his brother watches. So the brother gets all mad about how big a coward he's always been and is filled with rage and gets a visit from the Red Ring. Presto! New Red Lantern!

So now, five issues in, the Red Lantern Corps has a decent number of members who can actually communicate. Let's hope things start happening off the planet of Ysmault now. And maybe we'll finally learn about the Czarnian Red Lantern. She's probably mad that Lobo goes around claiming to be the last his race!

This issue was fine but not spectacular. So it can sit at the same spot on the charts for another month.

New Guardians #5

Sure, Kyle. That rock that is also being sucked into the Vortex will save you.
The six colored Lanterns converge on the Vortex. The Red Lantern, Bleez, took off last issue when the Blue Lantern tried to heal her insanity. Too bad for her that her sanity was restored to her in the Red Lanterns title anyway. And wait until Arkillo finds out that the majority of his Yellow Lanterns have been destroyed! Ha ha! By Sinestro, even. Also, the Orange Lantern with the silly name, Larfleeze?, is not with the group. Instead, his little tubby potato Orange Lantern is covering for him.

I can't remember his name either but I think he's more of a potato than a pus-bag.
The Lanterns split up and Kyle ends up with the Orange Potato, Glomulus. But before any action takes place, the story goes back in time to show Bleez getting dunked in the Blood Ocean to restore her sanity.

She goes a little bit deeper than this in Red Lanterns.

Inside the spheres, the Lanterns find planets. Arkillo and Saint Walker's sphere contain a planet the natives call Tamaran. And they look like Tamaranians with horns and ridgy protuberances. Fatality and Munk's planet is called Okaara by the ape natives. Okaara is the planet where Larfleeze currently resides. Kyle and Glomulus land on a planet that is covered entirely by a great city.

The residents of the planet Kyle comes to run from him and Glomulus while screaming about the beast. Kyle and Glomulus find a temple where the priest shows them a statue of the great beast.

It's Larfleeze!
Larfleeze is the beast that is the enemy of all the worlds in the Orrery. And his great enemy is the protector of the Orrery and lives within the sun at the center of the system. His name is Invictus and he's angry at Kyle for bringing the Orange Potato into the sacred temple. So Invictus is rising from the flames of the sun to come destroy the Lanterns.

Pretty good searching, Kyle, seeing as how this entire place was the size of the solar system! What luck to stumble upon the place where answers were to be found! I guess I should be thankful they didn't drag out the search for five issues with lots of random fighting and no movement in the plot.
As for Invictus, why would he have a Latin name? I'm sure the name is being translated by the ring from whatever language the alien priest is speaking (although there are no foreign language brackets around the text, so maybe he just knows English), so why wouldn't it just translate his name into English instead of Latin? Like Kyle is going to know what invictus means! He didn't even know what an orrery was! And he doesn't have the internet to nearly sort of translate stuff for him!

This is Invictus. Just another cliché bad ass.

Not much more was explained this issue, so the Lanterns are really still just as confused as when they started. Larfleeze has something to do with this Orrery thing and not in a good way. It looks like this Invictus is some enemy of his and he's hoping that the Lanterns will destroy Invictus for him. And why are there familiar planets in this thing's shells? I guess I have to keep staying tuned to find out.
New Guardians doesn't move up or down in the rankings because it needs to explain more and it invented a stupid space villain named Invictus. It should be named something with letters that have no human pronunciation.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Green Lantern Corps #5

Green Lantern Corps brutality!

First off, let me apologize to Guy Gardner for criticizing his Custer remark a few issues ago. Since the Green Lantern Corps is being attacked by a group of aliens out to get revenge because the Green Lantern Corps devastated their homeworld and destroyed their resources, the analogy is a little more fitting. The Green Lantern Corps are the bad guys!

I really like the idea that the Green Lanterns were using a resource (the wormhole) without any real interest in where it came from or how it existed or if anybody was being affected by what they were doing. It was just a mystery and they, all 7200+ of them, just shrugged their shoulders and got on with their jobs. Some Americans and other so-called 'First Worlders' might start to feel lectured by the book or possibly slightly offended. But it's such an important idea that most people don't give a shit about. Gas. Technology. Clothing. Food. In this country, we have the luxury to care about where these things come from and how they affect other people. Our consumption doesn't occur in a vacuum. And yeah, I'm also being preachy about it. But I think as individuals, we would get less screwed by corporate and political powers if we lived by our ethics instead of being driven by our desires.

I guess people have to have a code of ethics for that to work! Like the Green Lanterns code of ethics to let no evil escape their light! Even accidental evil? Committed by themselves? Hey, aren't the Guardians doing some kind of evil as well? Don't they always escape the Green Lantern's light?

I also have questions about what's going on with the Guardians across three books! They're fighting with Kyle Raynor and the other Ring Bearers (not Frodo). They're also planning on creating a new Intergalactic Police Force. And what are they doing in this comic? I think they've been sequestered away for the most part. I don't remember that part as much. I should probably start reading the stupid comic book already.

New recruits are trained on Oa by Kilowog. Or do they take turns training new recruits because one sector would have one less Green Lantern all of the time if Kilowog stayed on Oa. Or maybe Kilowog is a special Green Lantern that remains on Oa and trains. Which explains why he was in the Justice League for awhile perhaps while Oa was not being used like it does at times.

Guy asks Kilowog for a list of the toughest Green Lanterns in the corp. It turns out there is a group called "The Mean Machine" (why just rhyme with Green but leave the Green out? Oh it's so subtle!). Gardner thought they were all dead but they apparently just hang out in a hidden bar beneath Guy Gardner's bar, Warriors. Why does Gardner want a job as a little league coach when he can be a cool bartender at his own bar?

This woman brings up a lot of uncomfortable questions.

Guy is greeted at the bar by a woman made out of Green Lantern light. How does this woman remain in existence? Can Green Lantern's create objects with their own free will? I didn't think they could because of the way everyone seems to be confused how the Orange Lantern can create his own autonomous Orange Lantern Corps with his Ring of Greedy Light. But I guess they can create objects of permanence if they have sufficient willpower. Like how Sinestro has now made an actual Green Lantern ring for Hal Jordan.

So Guy looks around and finds that he indeed has people living underneath his bar.

Of course they all have names that refer to Earth's action movie stars. Except for Aloo. Except I'm probably just not getting the reference.

Guy Gardner recruits these guys by telling them that he needs a bunch of Green Lanterns that don't care if they live or die, just that the mission gets done and a lot of asses get kicked. They jump at the chance. Actually, they get up slowly from their sitting positions as their limbs pop and their metal legs catch fire. They're all old, see?

I think having the willpower not to use the ring makes you a good Ring Bearer but a bad Green Lantern.

Guy introduces the Mean Machine to the rest of the Green Lantern Corps that will be going on the mission to defeat the Keepers. It comes with the usual bucking for position and in-fighting. But Gardner keeps them all in check long enough for Martian Manhunter to give them all of the information they need. Before wiping out the memory that they got the information from him!

Martian Manhunter explains everything that I already deduced. The Guardians put the batteries on a planet. The people of the planet were barely subsisting. The Guardians built a world for them and the batteries made the world flourish, providing food and infusing the people with a willpower that could only be born of the Green Lantern's light. When the Oans suddenly returned a short time ago to remove the batteries from the world, the world began to die. And the Keepers needed to figure out a way to keep their world from dying. Also, it seems they wanted a little revenge on the Green Lantern Corps while doing so.

The Green Lantern Corps should just dump all of the Oans on the Keeper's planet and be done with the whole problem.

See! America should do this as well! If terrorists attack, just drop our leaders in the various countries our government has screwed.

Guy Gardner and his group determine that the one advantage they have over the Keepers is the Green Lantern's ability to overcome great fear. One of the Mean Machine suggests they need "a fear bomb and a lot of guns." Guy Gardner takes the fear bomb idea literally.

What are the odds the two Sinestro Corps members in the GLC prison are called Fat Man and Little Boy?!

Instead of letting the fear bomb and the Lanterns name speak for themselves, Tomasi continues to bash the hydrogen bomb metaphor over our heads with the need for a bomber ("interceptor") to drop the "special payload" of these aliens whose unique "physiology could literally wipe out an entire city". I'm not sure if the "taking them for a milkshake" line was an exact quote from World War II but it's possible!

"J'onzz who? What interrogation report? What Stormwatch? Oreos?"

Guy Gardner and his team load the Yellow Lanterns into a ship and head out to fight an entire planet of Keepers in order to save John Stewart and the rest of the universe. And after securing the first part of the plan, the Green Lanterns raid a pirate ship to get their hands on the second part of the plan.

Who knew Guy would take the plan so literally?

This issue was just setting the plan in motion to free John Stewart. And it did it well. It moved the story along without feeling rushed and it filled in as much as it needed to. The only problem was the cover shows Guy bashing in the face of a Keeper and he didn't meet one in the entire comic! Stupid lying comic book covers! Again!

Green Lantern Corps move up the rankings one rung.