Scarecrow #1

Those must be self-hating Crows to be working with the Scarecrow.

I'm going to start with something that has nothing to do with anything because I've had this quote in an open notepad note for about a week now. And every time I want to open an old notepad file, I have to copy it before opening the file. Then I paste it back in to notepad after I'm done with the old file. Mostly because I don't need to save this quote for any reason but I did want to talk about it. So now I'm talking about it!

This is from the comment section from the CRPG Addict's blog after he wrote about why he likes crossword puzzles rather than sudoku:

When you get to Might & Magic's Xeen series, you will get your crossword puzzle in one of the dungeons. Of course, I forget if it is in Clouds or Darkside at the moment :) When you complete it, be ready for an "Interesting" reward.

It's comments like these that boggle my trying-to-live-a-spoiler-free-life mind. I know the commenter is just trying to connect and engage in dialogue. But the need to ruin even the surprise of a crossword puzzle being encountered in an RPG hurts my non-existent soul. It's a well-meaning comment but ruins so much of what makes discovery enjoyable. And to top it all off, he adds the "be ready" part of it. It's like going to see Empire Strikes Back and somebody saying, "Hey, you like twists? Be ready for a good one about Luke's father near the end!" Actually, it's really just like every movie trailer that says, "You won't believe the shocking twist ending!" Great. Now that you told me there was a twist, I'll have it figured out in the first ten fucking minutes. Assholes.

I know I'm being overly sensitive to this shit. But it's a truly ruinous comment in innocuous clothing, so I felt I needed to say something to somebody. You were the lucky somebody!

I don't know yet who's writing this issue but the "self-delusion is underrated" is a pretty fucking accurate statement. Ignorance is bliss for the person bathed in ignorance. Obviously if fucking sucks for everybody who has to put up with that asshole. But sentience is definitely a curse.

I recently mentioned how I don't go in for that whole "dissatisfaction with getting all you ever wanted" crap. I'm more of the Willy Wonka type and the living happily ever after once you've gotten everything you ever dreamed of. It's too fucking American to always want more and to think ambition has no ceiling. It's a travesty to teach people that they must continually grow or need more. Don't you know that happiness is being happy your needs satisfied? If you're dissatisfied with getting everything you've always wanted, you obviously have yet to get everything you've always wanted!

On the next page, I see Peter J. Tomasi is writing. That's a good thing because I really liked some of the shit coming out of the Scarecrow's mouth here and I didn't want to accidentally praise a writer I can't stand! That would have been embarrassing! I already feel like I failed my readership by liking Tom DeFalco's Shadow Thief story and actually giving a thumb's up to H'el's origin!

There sure are a lot of words in this comic book!

The panel above made me happy. Sometimes things just make me giddy and make me smile and make me love comic books. I love the idea of the lunatics of Arkham splitting up Gotham under the auspices of The Penguin. Sure, there's no way this peace can last. But I'm sure they'll all have fun trying to pretend for a day or two. And then Bane will think, "Why the fuck am I not kicking Cobblepot's ass?" And Poison Ivy will need another few acres to grow some gigantic Venus Flytraps on. And Mr. Freeze will accidentally flood Zsasz's killing fields as his ice melts in the noon day sun. Except there is no sun because the eclipse has eclipsed the entire world in the way comic book eclipses do. But the ice will melt anyway because Gotham City really isn't that fucking cold.

The Scarecrow is visiting all the districts to spread some gossip that will, hopefully, cause fear in the people that hear it. The news is about Blackgate Prison so I hope the news is that Emperor Blackgate is going to try to take over The Penguin's job. Again!

According to The Scarecrow, I must be insane.

I don't really think of dealing with the world as it is or as I think it should be. I just deal with my life as I want to live it and fuck all to what anybody else thinks.

Apparently "Would-Be World Conqueror" is still a regular occupation in The New 52.

The Scarecrow wanders about Gotham discussing the New World Order and how his peers fit into it with his new buddy Hudson, a guard from Arkham. As I said before, there are a lot of words. It's a very dense comic book as Scarecrow wanders about psychoanalyzing everything. And it's pretty fucking entertaining shit. Example time!

Hamlet: "Veggie or Meat-lovers? That is the question. Whether tis nobler to the stomach to suffer the pangs and bloating of Little Caeser's or link arms and forgive the shitty policies by patronizing Papa Johns?"

The Scarecrow visits The Riddler next who, like Mr. Freeze, declares that he's not crazy like all of the others. But unlike Mr. Freeze, he declares that he will remain neutral in any upcoming battles because he has everything he wants. But he does mention "bane" in a Riddler sort of way, so it's possible he already knows something is brewing and Bane is at the heart of it. Or I'm just acting paranoid trying to make sense of all of the crazy crap The Riddler says.

While The Scarecrow is looking for Poison Ivy, Hudson's cousin from Blackgate that he tried to kill attacks them.

And he's pumped up full of Venom! Looks like The Riddler was dropping a hint about Bane.

I forget what all the Forever Evil tie-ins are going to be but it seems like this is building up to some kind of Forever Evil Gotham War. I know there's an Arkham one and a Rogue's one. This must be the lead-in to the Arkham War or whatever it's called.

Killer Croc shows up long enough to put down the Venomized guard and then disappears back into his turf: the sewers. Although the Sewers now has to contend with Ann Nocenti's fantasy realm, Under-Gotham. I supposed I should get some of that in the Joker's Daughter issue later. And more Croc stuff in the Killer Croc issue. And Bane's plan over in the Bane issue. I think Gotham City has more escaped lunatics per capita than anywhere else in the world. Even Los Angeles!

The Scarecrow finishes his rounds and kills off Hudson because Hudson was just standing in as The Scarecrow's therapist. And The Scarecrow doesn't need him any more because he's talked through all of his problems and he's ready to take over Gotham. Just like, I'm sure, every other inmate is ready to do as well. Like I said: none of them are actually going to be happy with their tiny parcel of Gotham.

Scarcrow #1 Rating: This issue was really quite entertaining even if it was merely a prologue to Akrham War. I really hate writing this last paragraph where I sum up my thoughts on an issue because reviewing these things isn't really my intention here. So let me just end with one more piece of good advice from The Scarecrow instead of a coherent rating:

Just don't be a dick about it.