I guess Harley is officially over skinny pale dudes.
I hate the new imaginary Jimmy Olsen.
Hopefully what really happens is that Superman decides to show off his new power to Jimmy and Jimmy is instantly obliterated. Then Superman sweeps the Jimmy dust under the fridge and learns how to super whistle so he can look super nonchalant and nobody will realize what he's done because he's so super chill.
Superman also lost his powers for 24 hours due to using his FWASH Power (aka Exploding Balls Syndrome). So now he gets to learn what it's like to be human! Maybe that's why he told Jimmy about his identity because he needs a guide for his scary and vulnerable day without super powers.
Superman: "Jimmy, I want to experience everything you experience as a human being! What have I been missing out on due to my invulnerability! Show me your world, Jimmy!"
Jimmy: "Great! First on the list: the mighty glory hole!"
"Although it does explain why you're so fit and I've never seen you work out a day in your life. Although you were a farm boy and aren't they either super fit or super fat? Since, you know, they're going to grow up to either be farmers or linebackers."
Lois Lane: "We'll be at the crash site in three minutes, Jim! Lick like you've never licked before!"
Jimmy and Clark head out for a nice walk in the snowy park and a chat about how Jimmy will now die soon because he knows too much. It's just a thing that happens in comics! If Jimmy does continue to live a full and productive life, Bruce is going to want to study him so he can find out what makes Jim different than all of the women he's told his secret identity to.
I think the big difference is your cadre of crazy, murderous villains, Bats.
Weather alerts on his cell phone take too long and are often mildly inaccurate.
Back at the Daily Planet, Clark Kent gets a paper cut right in front of everybody! That's brilliant! He should have thought about that before when he had powers. Want to make everybody believe you're definitely not Superman? Fake a paper cut! And cry! Then whine about it for the rest of the day! Lois will never be interested in his penis after that! Or believe he's Superman!
Perry J. Jameson holds a private meeting of like four employees to welcome Clark back to the planet officially. That seems like the kind of thing he should do with the entire staff! He'd tell everybody to listen up and then he'd welcome Clark back warmly and then he'd yell at everybody for being sentimental and tell them to get the fuck back to work. Instead Perry just tells the important people which only accidentally includes Jimmy Olsen since he wandered in with Clark. During the meeting, a Planet staff member runs in and says, "Hostage situation at the corner of Siegel and Shuster!" Clark runs into the office supply room, changes into his costume, jumps out of a window, and dies.
I mean, he rushes out to help but Lois thinks he's just running out to get the story first. She can't have that! If the Daily Planet is going to get the scoop, it's going to be gotten by Lois Fucking Lane!
You know what? I'm glad Lois and Clark aren't together! He deserves so much better! He's altruistic and she's selfishly exploiting people in dangerous situations to further her career! I suppose it's tough writing Lois Lane and maintaining that balance between a woman trying to improve the world through her hard-nosed uncovering of the truth and a woman trying to win every award in the world to prove she's the best that ever was. Maybe the two go hand in hand. Or tongue in butthole. Jimmy!
Well, he may have lost his powers but at least his cape is still bulletproof. I'd have it wrapped around me like a swaddled infant.
Surprise twist: the gunman doesn't shoot and he gives up easily and he goes to jail for many, many years on kidnapping charges.
After the crisis is over, Superman and Jimmy Olsen eat dinner on top of the Daily Planet. Jimmy asks Superman how it felt to be human for the day. And Superman says, "To be honest, Jim...not as different as I thought it would." That's because you missed out on the glory holes!
By the way, never trust somebody who feels they need to begin any statement with "to be honest."
The issue ends with Clark Kent receiving a blank Superman notebook in the mail from the mysterious Mister Oz. And then Mister Oz is all, "The future is a blank notebook! Get it?! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Or something.
Superman #39 Rating: +1 Ranking. This was a good issue. It's nice to see Superman acting the way Superman should be acting. He really deserves to be in more stories where he handles situations like this. The main complaint about Superman by most comic book fans is that he's too powerful and that nothing can challenge him. Which is exactly right and exactly why every story that brings in some alien creature that is somehow more powerful than the last alien creature Superman fought who was more powerful than the last creature Superman fought who was more powerful than Superman is a snoozy snoozefest. To really be interesting, Superman needs to be challenged in other ways. Challenge his ethics. Challenge his sense of propriety! Challenge his ability to write a story better than Lois Lane! Let him experience a glory hole!