Have the first fourteen issues and twenty-nine specials just been a long hallucination brought on by swallowing The Joker's jizz?
But...I'm just saying...if jizz were hallucinatory, I'd be sucking guys off left and right!
This issue begins with some women in Harlem having a bit of a chat.
I was thoroughly confused by that last image for about a minute. I thought that maybe she was expressing some kind of weird super power.
I didn't know Mad had a centerfold-in! I bet it's like a picture of three kittens playing with a ball of yarn, then you fold it and...PORN!
The person behind the flames is a guy named Tinderbox. He's a second rate Firefly! Or Firebug. Or whatever that other second rate flamethrower villain's name is. Being the second rate version of a second rate character means you're a fourth rate character due to exponents or denominators or something.
Harley calls Tinderbox "Finger-lox" and I suddenly remember that we've seen a Tinderbox before! She was princess of the underground in Ann Nocenti's Catwoman. The reason I suddenly remembered that is that throughout that whole story, I constantly referred to her as something other than "Tinderbox" as well! Harley and I are practically the same person.
After kicking Timberlocks out of a window, Harley Quinn rushes off to save the rest of the people trapped upstairs.
I've never encountered a fire extinguisher that sprays foam. The only ones that I've set off...I mean, been around when they've been set off have basically sprayed chalk dust. It would have been more fun if they sprayed foam. I mean, the fire would have been put out in a more fun way!
Meanwhile another character is being introduced. Her name is Shona and her mother and grandmother run an Indian restaurant so she probably smells delicious. Some asshats decide that they don't have to pay for their lunch because they're entitled pricks who believe they deserve to be waited on hand and foot no matter how busy the restaurant might be. Shona and her bat decide to debate them. Her bat presents most of the best arguments.
Her mouth brings up a few good points too.
Back to Harley, she returns home with another load of pet goodies to find Poison Ivy waiting for her in the tub. Now this is my kind of comic! I mean, it's my kind of porn! I mean...is there supposed to be a difference? Didn't Erik Larson say something about them being basically the same thing on Twitter recently?
The magic of being a guy! This scene is just a sweet moment between two best friends but when I turn my male gaze towards it...ha ha ha! It's now dirty and disgusting!
Meanwhile in yet another part of town full of minorities, we meet Carlita! Are we building to a new Roller Derby Team? Here's something that kids today won't get because they think if it happened before they were born, it happened in a time when everybody was a racist dickhole: Is Harley going to start a new 70s gang? All she needs now is an Asian member! Seriously though, remember the 70s when everything was multicultural and diversity was everywhere? Things really seemed like they were chugging along nicely. And then Reagan took office and the moral majority swooped in and suddenly we were all back to living in the whitest, most Christian, homophobic nation on Earth! I don't know who exactly is to blame but back in the 70s, real life seemed to be trending toward the world Tumblr thinks of when they say, "Are you kidding? It's 2015!" Sure, a lot of shit was still wrong but the effort was being made and it seemed like America had come as close as ever to that whole Melting Pot dream of the bicentennial. I think what happened in the eighties was the pendulum just swung back the other way as the Traditionalists (I could also have used "racists" here) pushed back.
Of course, I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area, so I may have had a slightly skewed view of America. I grew up watching the gay pride parade on KOFY TV-20 and staying up late for their dance parties. I'm fairly certain the 70s and early 80s were completely different in other parts of America. Every now and then I'll say something about how life was like back then and the Non-Certified Spouse, who grew up in Nebraska, reminds me that I grew up in Oz when compared to much of the rest of the country.
Antonia, Shona, and Carlita are all looking for jobs. I think that's the connection! They're all going to wind up working for Harley Quinn. Maybe as thugs in her new Joker Gang? Or maybe just taking care of her animals and firing the shit catapult.
This is the part where Harley gets into it with her beaver.
This is the part where Harley gets into it with Pamela's beaver.
Mason drops by to let Harley know that he's sorry for having been so upset and he understands that her life is hectic and maybe they can try going on a dinner sex again sometime. He leaves to give Harley and Pamela some time to look for an assistant for Harley so she has more time to save lives and be a real hero. Oh, hey! Remember those three women looking for jobs?! I bet they're perfect for this gig! What luck!
There she is! The
I did type "dinner date" back there, didn't I?!