Aquaman and the Others #11

This is the last time DC Comics will ever let these heroes share a cover.

This is probably the last time I'll ever read an Aquaman and the Others comic book because nobody in their right mind would give this team another chance. They were just awful. And boring. And none of them were interesting. Although according to Erik Larsen and the silent majority, Ya'Wara's costume should have had this comic book flying off of the shelves.

Speaking of Erik Larsen and his vocal minority bit, here's a little something I wrote back in June 2013 in my Batwoman #21 commentary. This is just the conclusion to a longer piece but it shows that I, at least, think he's targeting the wrong "vocal minority":

Anyway, I was just thinking I should discuss diversity at some point and why I never really discuss it much! I'm neutral on diversity so I'm not the target audience. But I'm also not the target audience on non-diverse comic book characters! I think that's probably a good part of the silent majority. Which means when a company thinks that diverse characters won't sell, they're absolutely wrong because they're listening to a vocal minority. I'll read ANY character if the story is well-written and/or drawn beautifully! Which probably means I shouldn't stay silent on being pro-diversity! So it's probably a good thing to be writing this. Take note, DC. White male characters don't sell because comic book fans demand white males. White males sell because that's what you're fucking selling us.

So when I say I'm neutral on it, I just mean I'm not emotionally invested one way or the other on the background of a character. I think diversity is important because it's so important to fans under-represented for years. The only time comic fans should ever be angry concerning comic book characters is when Scott Lobdell is shitting all over them.

I wish Aquaman and the Others were a more diverse team but instead they're all the same: boring.

Shouldn't Atlanteans have gills? Do they all die of lung cancer that's similar to the kind you get from asbestos caught in the lungs but they develop it from lungs full of fish poop?

After eleven issues, nobody reading this comic book has any idea who any of the characters really are. They've just been presented as the Atlantean Artifact they use. So in this final issue, we're getting little Narration Boxes provided by Vostok XI to tell us everybody's motivations. Apparently Aquaman is "strong" and "determined" and the "leader of the Others." Prisoner-of-War is "the conscience of the Others." Oh, is he? Is that the role he's been undertaking while either remaining silent or betraying the group? That seems about right.

Last issue, Mayhem launched a nuclear missile that is currently heading towards Spain. But iSpy and the Others are too busy battling Mayhem on an island in the middle of the ocean to try to stop the missile. POW! is all, "Can't you stop it iSpy?" And iSpy is all, "Not without a computer, POW!" And Ya'wara is all, "If only one of us could teleport you to a computer to stop the missile but I guess it's more important to fight this senseless battle with Mayhem who would be trapped on this island if we all just left and who knows what shenanigans they might get up to in that situation so I guess Spain will just have to be obliterated!" And Aquaman nods sagely and says, "It can't be helped."

Except luckily for all of the heroes that have forgotten that they can teleport, Vostok XI is at a computer! He can guide the missile away from Spain to detonate somewhere less harmful like Portugal! But he needs iSpy's help! And iSpy isn't sure he can trust Vostok XI to save the day even though if he doesn't trust him the day won't be saved! So maybe, um, trust him?

iSpy, being old and infirm and having an arthritic grip, drops the Code Sender before he can push the Code Sender Button. But Sayeh, having seen in a vision that he would drop the Code Sender, is nearby to pick it up and send the code herself! If only Maelsrom, the one member of Mayhem that wanted to prevent a catastrophe, wasn't in the way trying to prevent the catastrophe!

How is Sayeh supposed to match up in a fight against supervillains? Doesn't she simply see the future? She's getting her ass kicked out here! Why bring her along?!

Oh, I know why they brought her along! Because she saw in a vision that she was there to save the day so they had to bring her along even though Aquaman was all, "I don't see what you add to this team, Sayeh. Don't you think your outfit is a little too concealing?" No wait. That was Erik Larsen.

Sayeh defeats Maelstrom by telling her she's not living up to her potential. Maelstrom is all, "Oh? Really? Um, okay then! Ta-ta! I'm off to Hollywood!"

Judging by Sayeh's reaction, Maelstrom goes into porn.

Ya'ware cuts the muscles in Stranglehold's arms making her completely useless and then kicks her into the ocean to drown to put her out of her misery. Vostok XI mentions that Ya'wara is "savage" and "barely contained." Barely contained in her bikini, amirite?

Mera defeats some guy named Braze and calls him impotent while she's at because she always goes too far. Ya'wara might have made her opponent impotent and then killed her but at least she didn't call her impotent. There are some lines that just shouldn't be crossed.

Vostok XI forgets that he already did his Narration Box thing on Prisoner-of-War so he spends another page on him. This time he mentions how he's a soldier and how he fights for those soldiers who died around him fighting for justice and peace and freedom and the right for American corporations to engage in a modern version of Manifest Destiny. He beats up NKVDemon because it's symbolic of democracy defeating devils. Or something.

Ha ha! She's right, you know!

Aquaman gets lucky and beats Cheshire because she slips and hits her head on a rock. Maybe he commanded a sea worm to sacrifice itself by getting under her feet so that she'd slip! Clever!

Meanwhile Ya'wara finally remembers that she can teleport and heads to the moon to save Vostok XI who was just sitting there waiting for the nuclear missile he reprogrammed to fall on his head. The missile's nuclear warhead was disarmed so the moon wasn't knocked out of orbit or anything like that which could probably totally happen, right? Instead, the Soviet base was destroyed and The Others all returned to the yacht after leaving Mayhem on the island. Or drowning them. Or putting bullets in their heads. Or taking them to prison. That part is left kind of unclear. Maybe that's some kind of comment on "unclear" being an anagram of "nuclear." Or maybe the kicking and punching is just more important than the justice.

The Others decide it's time to disband for awhile and then they spend five pages waiting for the reader's applause to quiet down before they split up. Vostok XI decides to trade in his space helmet for a motorcycle helmet and travel the world for awhile.

Aquaman and the Others #11 Rating: No change. This entire series was like the hours spent after picking up somebody for a first date and discovering this on their bedroom wall: