World's End #21

Oliver Queen is a dick.

I hate to compare comic books to real life (no I don't! But it was the only way I could think to begin this!), but lets see how long it takes for a cop to shoot your ass when one sees you running around the city impaling people with arrows. Then when they're hauling your ass to jail for assaulting people with a sorta-deadly-I-guess weapon, you can explain to them that you're just trying to save the city. Then they'll ask you, "From what, you psycho?" You won't have an answer for that one! At least, not a very specific answer. Or one that doesn't piss them off completely because I'd agree with you if your answer was "From the police department's systemic racism and wild incompetence!"

Here's how every episode of Arrow goes:

Character #1: "How dare you keep a secret from me!"
Character #2: "It was for your own good!"
Character #1: "I hate you forever!" storms off to pout
Character #2: "Well shit. I'm certainly not telling her/him about all of the other secrets now!"

This issue begins...hell, it doesn't fucking matter where it begins. Pick any one of the fifteen different plots going on and then imagine that nothing really happens with it for two pages before switching to one of the other plots.

See? Hawkcop and The Streak Starring Jay Gimmick get one page where they're fighting confetti and reminding the reader that they're trying to save the world. Next!

That scene was taking place inside the Earth in Atom Shaven. Don't ask me why the people of Earth decided to hide underground while an alien planet is busy above ground destroying the Earth. It must be the same mentality that causes victims in horror movies to hide in closets.

Above the Earth, Val-el, Power Girl, and Tornado Lane are battling satellites from Apokolips that are busy chopping up and preparing the Earth to become a meal for Apokolips. Val-el is concerned that all of this violence isn't really helping. Well, asshole, maybe you can sit down with the planet over coffee and share some poetry. Besides, I've caught you punching sentient creatures in previous issues and now you're hesitating over destroying a satellite? Buck up, honey pie! Get your hands bloody or Earth-2 is doomed!

Actually, Earth-2 is doomed anyway. But at least if you punch a few satellites, Power Girl will be able to look you in the eye when it's over. And with the "S" symbol covering her boob window, you'll be able to look her in the eye!

Val-el really wants to try the coffee and poetry strategy.

Meanwhile, Replacement Batman and The Huntress are welcomed into Red Arrow's Transformer. He serves them coffee but nobody recites any poetry. But I think he's going to tell The Huntress a secret! I hope she doesn't get pissed off that he didn't tell her earlier because this comic book doesn't have enough issues left to deal with Thea's Laurel's Detective Lance's Oliver's Tommy's Felicity's Diggle's Slade's Helena's pouting subplot.

I'm actually surprised when Red Arrow reveals what the Trinity gave him to protect. I'm not surprised by what it was but that it didn't take eight issues to get around to it.

That's arrogant. Why is it so important to save all the knowledge from Earth-2? I suppose it can be used to write a bunch of semi-entertaining comic books.

In case you've forgotten, Dick Grayson is still looking for his son. And Babs is still dead. And the super villains Constantine rescued from Arkham Stasis Asylum are helping evacuate Earth. I think. Maybe. But only for their own benefit somehow, I'm sure.

The Mister Misters (Mister Eight, Mister Terrific, Mister Miracle, and company) get the multiversal bleed ship up and running. But Terry Sloan doesn't take it to Earth to save everyone. Instead, he crashes it into Apokolips. Don't worry! He has one of those Harvest plans! It might look like they all just died and all hope of saving any Twofers is lost but that's part of the plan! Probably.

Sloan also explains how Universe-2 is a feeder Universe. This was mentioned in World's End #11, the one I wrote a sonnet for, so I might not have explained the whole feeder universe thing very well. You see, Highfather made a deal with Darkseid. If Darkseid would calm down and stop trying to kill every universe in the multiverse, Highfather would give him a few universes where Apokolips could run around eating up planets willy nilly. Terry Sloan's original universe was one of these. He claims he saved it but I think he just made the same kind of deal with Darkseid there that he made here. The deal is kind of shitty for everybody but Sloan though since basically he traded everybody's lives for his own. Don't think of Terry Sloan as an asshole! Look at him as somebody with initiative and foresight!

World's End #21 Rating: -1 Ranking. Convergence can't get here soon enough! Mostly just because this series has to be over by the end of this month, right? Just four issues left? Maybe? Please? OH GOD PLEASE!