Monday, March 23, 2015

World's End #24

This could be a beautiful cover except my eyes keep getting drawn back to Power Girl's impending wedgie.

I kept asking myself, "What does World's End need to make it successful?"

I'm still asking myself, "What does World's End need to make it successful?"

Maybe if Daniel H. Wilson revealed that the culprit behind the destruction of Earth-2 wasn't Darkseid at all but Cluemaster! What a twist!

This issue begins with Darkseid and some of those inconsequential Lords of Apokolips assessing the situation.

Darkseid isn't allowed to finish because even the writers aren't really sure what his ultimate motivation was.

The rumble is Val-el, Power Girl, and Tornado Lane breaking into Darkseid's thinking out loud chamber. "Earth still has some fight left in it, monster!" screams Val-el, which is untrue and also not very threatening coming from a pacifist who refuses to resort to violence. Except occasionally when the writer and/or artist have forgotten that he's a pacifist. I have a feeling the next page is going to be a pair of Omega Beams bouncing around the room and three whiffs of non-existence.

Back on Earth where the evacuees are finally being shoved into the ships that will transport them to safety, Hawkcop decides to turn on The Streak Starring Jay Gimmick.

Jay: "Okay! Everybody on board! Mothers and their super hero sons first!"
Kendra: "You don't run! You flee!"
Jay: "What?"
Kendra: "You have to stay on Earth and sacrifice yourself while the ships fly up into space because they need protecting!"
Jay: "But what can I do once they lift off?"
Kendra: "You're being such a selfish prick! You should remain helpless inside Atom Shaven instead of escaping certain doom!"
Jay: "I don't get why you're being so...oh, I see. I get it. Manufactured drama to fill pages! Good job, Kendra, but really, I'll see you later on Earth-Main-Earth. We can continue this feud in Futures End."

Aquawoman busts through the floor riding a massive Moray Eel and declares some new boarding rules: Atlanteans then mothers and then their superhero sons!

The eel is waiting to hear when Giant Moray Eels get to board.

Barda isn't recognized by any of the humans even though she's over seven feet tall. But she is noticed by War who managed to find an identical disguise. I don't remember Evil Starfire in any of the Futures End comic books, so my guess is she tries something evil and Barda stops her which is when Barda's heart grows three sizes or something.

Meanwhile Dick Grayson apparently, once again, found Tommy or Johnny or whatever the little shitbag's name is between comic books. But guess what he does once more? He gives him away to somebody else for no reason! I mean, he kind of has a better reason this time, at least, than last time. Apparently there aren't enough seats on the escape ships for everybody since dozens of them have been given up to Atlanteans and a gigantic eel. All the men and children without mothers will now have to be left behind! It's not my rule! The guards said, "Women with children only!" That's why Dick gave Tohnny to a couple of women to take care of them. I don't know who they are because they're in such fabulous disguises but the really tall one says her name is "Barda." Johmmy never says a word because that would bump up his Actor's Union paycheck.

Alan Scott busts in on the Mister Misters as they whine about how they don't know how to save two million of Earth-2's last surviving humans, Atlanteans, and giant eels. I guess his new Chromatic Powers will provide life support systems for the millions of evacuees. Sam will provide oxygen and Solomon Grumpy will provide waste disposal and Cthulhu will create water and Yolanda Montez will die on the surface of the Earth but Alan will use the Red power for blood and other medical necessities to help the wounded. Alan Scott's green power will be used to spruce up the place with a few well-placed ferns.

Back in Darkseid's thinking out loud chamber, Val-el decides to end the battle with a really aggressive hug.

Yay! Now Power Girl gets the symbol and Val-el gets the Boob Window! Equality!

The issue ends with Power Girl punching Darkseid in the face and Darkseid going, "What was that? A mosquito? A piece of paper? Somebody threw a piece of paper on me!"

Hmm, does that quote have the taint of rape all over it now?

World's End #24 Rating: No change. This was a fantastic issue of World's End! I mean, at least the plot points all kind of made sense and are leading to the expected conclusion! Which I hope is in next issue although it still feels like it's going to need more than one more week to wrap up. Maybe all the weeklies are going to end on April 1st? Is that a possibility? Maybe I should just stop buying them after April 1st! If I don't acknowledge them, they don't actually exist! Why didn't I think of this earlier?!

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