Sunday, May 28, 2017

Nightwing #21

Why isn't Seeley's name on the cover? What is happening?!

• Nightwing begins this comic by making an observation that crime takes place in Metropolis around lunchtime and crime takes place in Gotham around midnight. That must be because criminals are stupid. If you want to avoid Batman, do crime during the day! If you want to avoid Superman, do crime at night! What is wrong with these people? Unless, of course, what Nightwing is really observing is that Superman fights crime during the day and Batman fights crime at night. During the day in Gotham, criminals get away with their crimes and nobody notices because Batman is sleeping. The opposite is true of Metropolis. So what Nightwing is really observing is that he's bad at science and drawing conclusions.

• Nightwing also concludes that crime takes place in Blüdhaven at about twilight because that's when he goes out to stop crime. Nightwing might suck at scientific experiments but he's an expert at tautologies.

Dude, you're not Robin anymore. That line doesn't work.

• Nightwing stops the mugging but the woman being mugged decides to murder the mugger. Luckily for Nightwing, The Flash (Wally West Version (ginger Wally West version)) arrives to scoop the bullet out of the air. I say luckily for Nightwing because if this mugger were killed, his family would wind up blaming Nightwing. Then they'd have to become super villains to destroy him for killing their loved one. Not that he killed the guy or could even be blamed. But comic books have a different set of ethical parameters than reality. Not that reality's are much better.

• Wally has come to town to find a friend. He's bored because nobody wants to hang out with him. I get that. He's annoying just at normal speeds.

• Nightwing uses the line "Let's not and say we did." I've never liked that expression. It doesn't really make much sense. If you don't want to do something, why would you want to go around later proclaiming that you did? I've never asked somebody to fuck me where they responded "Let's not and say we did." Although they have said the opposite of that. I totally understand that version! "Let's do this thing that is completely embarrassing and later not admit to having done it." But in Nightwing's case, Flash suggests calling the new villain they're tracking The Skipper. Nightwing is all, "Let's not call him that and say that we did." Well, isn't that exactly the same as calling him that?

• Nightwing and Flash catch up with the newbie super villain. He uses the word "ridic." I hope they accidentally kill him.

• The Flash can't stop The Skipper because The Skipper can pause time. But he does have to push a button to pause time. Which means The Flash should be able to stop him before he can pause time. Because, you know, The Flash has that super speed thing. But apparently this kid's index finger has super speed too. Even if The Skipper simply needed to think about pausing time to pause time, The Flash should still be able to defeat him. Because the idiot keeps talking. As soon as he begins saying anything, The Flash could punch him in the face and kill him. I mean knock him out. Easily before the kid could think to pause time.

• So, anyway, they, um, you know, beat the guy in the end. It's all very satisfying and shit. I guess. Whatever.

• In the epilogue, Tiger Shark returns to take over Blüdhaven! I'm not sure that really deserved an exclamation point but I felt something needed to feel exciting about this issue.

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