Friday, May 5, 2017

Cerebus in Hell? #3

Nobody pays attention to Cerebus anymore. This cover was right there on the rack for all the kids to see the harlot's titties! One of them learned how to jerk off because of it!

When I was in junior high, my friend Meddie Ello asked me if I masturbated. He didn't ask casually or in a joking manner. He was dead serious and he really seemed concerned about the subject. I wanted to tell him I did. I could see he needed somebody to say, "It's okay, Eddie. It's normal. We all do it." But I had to lie and tell him I didn't because it was just too risky. Even though it was normal and I knew it was and I didn't feel any guilt over it, I knew that if I confided in somebody and they spread it around school, my life would be torture. You can defend against irrational comments with logic as much as you want but it's not going to stop the idiots from making fun of you. Even when everybody knew they were all fucking jerking it all over their homes! Nobody was staying up late on the weekends just to watch Conan the Barbarian or Excalibur or Quest for Fire and not jerk off during them! So I had to send Meddie off to stew in his own guilt and semen.

If I wind up in Hell (we're going to pretend such a place exists), it'll probably because of my Jesus Christ/Pontius Pilate slash fiction. "I wash my hands of your glorious semen!"

This hasn't been an informative review of Cerebus in Hell? #3. But if that's what you were expecting, this must be the first time you've ever read one of my blog posts. You probably usually just skim them to find the dirty words. I'd suggest masturbating to actual pictures of naked people rather than the tingly feeling you get reading words you're not supposed to know. That's kind of weird.

No comments:

Post a Comment