Saturday, May 20, 2017

Wonder Woman #22


• This issue begins with Wonder Woman prostituting herself out for over a quarter of a million dollars. Don't worry! It's for a good cause that is explained on the first page in the exact opposite of that totally not too preachy way I expect from my comic books. Also, even if it wasn't for a good cause, you shouldn't worry. If Diana wants to sell her body for scads of money, that's her choice. Nobody has the right to judge her! I mean, technically, we all have that right. It's a free country and all.

• Bruce Wayne and Lex Luthor get into a bidding war that's less about wanting to date Wonder Woman and more about whose dick has more money in it.

• Don't worry (again! Man, you worry too much), neither of them win a chance to defile the Amazonian Princess! Veronica Cale wins the date for fifteen million dollars. Diana pees a little bit because she's pretty sure for fifteen million dollars, she going to at least have to do some digital manipulation of Veronica's anal sphincter. Bruce Wayne looks pretty upset. I bet the plan was just to have Batman win it so Diana wouldn't have to spend any actual time with some grody loser nobody.

• Veronica and Diana ditch the banquet early because they're both so excited about going out on a fifteen million dollar date. What must that be like? I bet I'd have an orgasm just knowing somebody wanted to pay fifteen million dollars to spend some time with me. I'm practically having one right now thinking about having one due to that scenario!

• By the way, who pays on a date like this? I mean, Veronica already paid fifteen million. Is she expected to pick up the check as well?

• Veronica Kale reminds me of Darcy Parker. She even has her own Parker Girls.

• The date winds up in a gunfight in the desert where Wonder Woman protects Veronica from the men Veronica sent to attack her so that she could record some kind of resonance frequency given off by Wonder Woman's lasso.

• The issue ends with Veronica realizing Themyscira lies in another dimension and with Wonder Woman letting Veronica know she'll be keeping a close eye on her and with me confused by reading two stories about the same people searching for the same thing happening years apart. At first I thought using the biweekly schedule to tell two different stories was a nice trick to use two different teams of artists. But that was before I knew the stories would be so intertwined that I'd have a difficult time remembering what parts happened in the past and which parts were happening in the present. I could reread them all but I remember being bored through most of it so that's not really an option. Anyway, both stories end in their next issues. Maybe after that, Rucka will try to be less confusing. Or maybe Frank Cho will take over writing duties. Man, could you imagine that disaster? I so want to read that comic book.

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